Abusive Mother And Greedy Grandmother Conspire To Steal Disabled Daughter's Money—But Get Abandoned By Daughter For Toxicity

"At that point, I just felt like killing somebody."

Sophia

Published in Interesting
7 Nov 2023

Abusive Mother And Greedy Grandmother Conspire To Steal Disabled Daughter's Money—But Get Abandoned By Daughter For Toxicity

Some families steal in the daylight, then act shocked when you finally walk away. In this Reddit post, OP tries to protect their disabled daughter’s money, only to get dragged back into the mess by the very people who should have been helping.

Here’s the complicated part: a payee is set up to safeguard the disabled daughter’s finances so the money only covers necessities. But OP’s EM, the mother, kept taking from it and using the money for herself. OP eventually fled to escape that toxicity, then returned when EG, the grandmother, fell seriously ill and needed care, thinking it would be temporary.

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It wasn’t temporary, and the daughter’s final decision hits hard.

EM, the mother, departs from the norm by stealing from her child.

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Just some context: a payee safeguards a disabled person's finances to prevent imprudent spending, ensuring they can meet essential expenses.

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The payee oversees spending on necessities, as the money belongs to the disabled person, not them. Yet, the entitled mother kept taking and using it for herself.

The narrative of this daughter’s escape from her abusive mother and greedy grandmother highlights the pervasive effects of toxic family dynamics. The article illustrates how entrenched patterns of entitlement and manipulation can distort relationships, particularly in the context of familial ties. By choosing to distance herself from these harmful influences, the daughter not only seeks self-preservation but also asserts her right to reclaim her autonomy. This decision marks a pivotal moment in her journey toward empowerment, emphasizing that recognizing and confronting toxicity is essential for healing. The story serves as a powerful reminder of the courage required to break free from cycles of abuse that can persist across generations.

OP initially left home to escape their abusive mother (EM) but returned when their grandmother (EG) fell seriously ill, requiring assistance in her care.

OP realized their grandmother (EG) was subtly abusive, having manipulated them into staying by feigning love and care.

Upon returning, the grandmother's (EG) subtle abuse escalated into something worse than the mother's (EM), prompting OP to leave for good.

The emotional turmoil experienced by the daughter is a classic response to familial abuse. Studies published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology highlight that victims of emotional abuse can experience complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), which complicates their ability to form trusting relationships. This indicates that the psychological scars left by familial toxicity can last well into adulthood, affecting future interactions.

Due to health issues, OP receives SSI disability income, but their mother (EM) being made the payee for their money was a mistake, exploited during the grandmother's hospitalization.

OP's mother (EM) habitually took their money, and despite needing it to move out, they allowed EM to take half for bills, regretting their decision later.

OP's mother (EM) spent all the money meant for bills, and when confronted, both EM and their grandmother (EG) claimed they had permission.

OP left home to get away from EM’s theft, but the “grandma needs help” situation pulled them right back in.

The Cycle of Abuse

Understanding the cycle of abuse is essential for those attempting to break free from toxic family dynamics. The cycle often includes phases of tension building, the abusive incident, and subsequent reconciliation. This pattern can create a false sense of security, which may compel victims to return to their abusers, making the process of healing more complex.

Breaking this cycle requires significant emotional work and often professional intervention.

When OP mentions going shopping, their mother (EM) shakes her head and reveals there's no money available for it.

OP confronts their mother (EM), who admits to using all the money, despite the prior agreement to use only half.

A disagreement arises when OP denies giving permission to their mother (EM) to use the remaining money, despite their grandmother's (EG) support of EM's claim.

For those in similar situations, seeking therapy can provide essential tools for healing. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be effective in helping individuals reframe their experiences and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

A heated argument ensues, leading OP to retreat to their room, devastated over the loss of the money they needed for their new apartment and the move.

OP uncovered a note from their mother admitting to taking some of the money against the rules. They presented it to their case manager, pointing out the distinct difference in handwriting to expose their mother's dishonesty.

OP gained financial independence by becoming their own payee, setting up a separate bank account, and ensuring direct deposits to protect their money from their mother.

The Power of Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy is a critical skill for individuals who have experienced familial toxicity. Empowering oneself to set boundaries and prioritize personal well-being can lead to significant changes in behavior and emotional health.

OP's mother threatened to withhold the next month's funds if they complained, but their threat to report her prevented her from doing so, possibly due to fear of legal consequences.

With authorities notified, the family had no leverage left, and OP's warning to involve the police in case of physical harm limited their options.

The family's attempt to learn OP's new location was met with a resolute refusal, as OP made it clear they wanted no further contact and expressed their intent to cut ties completely after moving out.

EG didn’t just need care, she needed OP to stay, so the fake love and careful manipulation started doing overtime.

Support systems play a vital role in recovery from toxic relationships.

This is similar to the moral mess in using grandma’s inheritance for expenses after job loss, where the “should I” question hits hard.

OP refused to disclose their new apartment's location to their mother (EM), signaling their intention to keep it confidential.

OP firmly declined to provide any hints about their new location to their grandmother (EG).

Their family's attempts at threats, intimidation, and scare tactics no longer had any effect on OP, now an independent adult.

Realizing she couldn't exploit OP, the mother (EM) began to largely ignore them, a change OP welcomed.

The mother stopped bothering OP, but the grandmother persistently tried to manipulate and guilt-trip them to no avail.

The grandmother (EG) repeatedly inquired about visits, including walking their dog, but OP firmly declined each time with a simple "No."

The grandmother (EG) questioned OP's behavior, to which OP responded by cutting ties, citing EG's support of their abuser.

Fed up with enduring their family's ongoing hardships and realizing they no longer had to tolerate it, OP decided to break free from the toxic situation.

While saving money to move out, OP isolated themselves in their locked bedroom, using earbuds to drown out their intrusive grandmother's voice.

Fearing for their pet cat's safety, OP stayed home to prevent their family from harming the animal, as they had done before to upset OP.

In their last days at home, OP saw little of their mother (EM), and on the final day, their grandmother (EG) inappropriately ordered the movers to arrive early, despite OP being the one who hired and paid them.

OP told their grandmother to step aside because the movers were coming soon, and she eventually moved.

OP was annoyed that the movers confirmed the schedule with their grandmother and asserted that they should have contacted OP directly.

The movers, unaware of the situation, were apologetic and offered to reschedule. However, OP, already awake, decided to let them come as planned.

OP was eager to leave their home and felt overwhelmed with frustration, although they recognized it wasn't the movers' fault.

OP's mother and grandmother made a fuss about returning the house keys when they moved out, which OP considered a petty act of revenge, though they had already planned to return the keys.

As an act of retaliation, the family issued an eviction notice to OP, blaming their "bad attitude" and threatening legal action, even though their actions, including theft, had hindered OP's ability to save for the move.

OP saw through their family's empty legal threats, viewing it as a form of punishment for defying them, despite their imminent plan to move out.

As the movers completed their task, OP silently dropped the keys on their grandmother's chest as a final gesture before leaving.

The movers provided a ride to the new place, and as the last box was brought in, OP looked forward to the peace and quiet of their new home.

Years have passed without contact, except for a glimpse of the mother (EM) from a bus. OP learned of their grandmother's passing and their mother's relocation to another state.

OP refrained from pressing charges against their mother, acknowledging that the legal process would be emotionally taxing due to her spiteful nature.

Acknowledging their family's emotional manipulation skills and insufficient evidence, OP opted not to press charges, finding peace in their family's permanent absence from their life.

While they got away with it, OP found solace in finally parting ways with their family.

OP has more stories to share about these terrible individuals if anyone is interested in hearing them.

OP expresses a strong desire for their entitled grandmother to suffer in the afterlife and for their mother to eventually share the same fate.

Here's a TLDR:

In an edit, OP expresses gratitude to those who awarded them silver and gold medals.

No father; mother adopted as a single parent. Grandfather passed away when OP was a baby, so no memories of him.

Expressing gratitude for the support, OP mentions they are doing much better since permanently removing their mother from their life.

Scroll down to see what people had to say!

Indeed, it's great to hear that OP escaped from such unpleasant company. Here's to a brighter, drama-free future!

Absolutely right, nobody should have to endure living with "those" beings. May life now be filled with the happiness they truly deserve.

Absolutely! OP's escape from those toxic individuals is a victory for peace and sanity. Here's to brighter days ahead!

Once OP returned, the subtle abuse from EG turned into something worse than what EM had been doing.

The disabled daughter watched the money get exploited again, then chose abandonment over another round of family chaos.

Through this account, the importance of self-preservation and the ability to break free from harmful ties becomes evident, offering hope and inspiration to others navigating similar challenging situations. Do you have a similar story to share?

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

The narrative of a daughter abandoned by her abusive mother and greedy grandmother serves as a stark reminder of the psychological complexities that often underpin toxic familial relationships. The article illustrates how the relentless entitlement exhibited by these family members can create a suffocating environment, stifling the victim's autonomy and well-being.

In the face of such adversity, the journey towards recovery is not only about recognizing these unhealthy dynamics but also about cultivating resilience. The protagonist's decision to distance herself from the toxicity highlights the importance of self-advocacy and the necessity of surrounding oneself with supportive figures who foster healing rather than hinder it.

The disabled daughter didn’t just cut them off, she left the toxic payroll behind too.

For another family money fight, see whether OP was right to ask in-laws for child medical bills after refusal: in-law help for a kid’s medical bills.

EM, the mother, departs from the norm by stealing from her child.

Just some context: a payee safeguards a disabled person's finances to prevent imprudent spending, ensuring they can meet essential expenses.

The payee oversees spending on necessities, as the money belongs to the disabled person, not them. Yet, the entitled mother kept taking and using it for herself.

OP initially left home to escape their abusive mother (EM) but returned when their grandmother (EG) fell seriously ill, requiring assistance in her care.

OP realized their grandmother (EG) was subtly abusive, having manipulated them into staying by feigning love and care.

Upon returning, the grandmother's (EG) subtle abuse escalated into something worse than the mother's (EM), prompting OP to leave for good.

Due to health issues, OP receives SSI disability income, but their mother (EM) being made the payee for their money was a mistake, exploited during the grandmother's hospitalization.

OP's mother (EM) habitually took their money, and despite needing it to move out, they allowed EM to take half for bills, regretting their decision later.

OP's mother (EM) spent all the money meant for bills, and when confronted, both EM and their grandmother (EG) claimed they had permission.

The Cycle of Abuse

When OP mentions going shopping, their mother (EM) shakes her head and reveals there's no money available for it.

OP confronts their mother (EM), who admits to using all the money, despite the prior agreement to use only half.

A disagreement arises when OP denies giving permission to their mother (EM) to use the remaining money, despite their grandmother's (EG) support of EM's claim.

A heated argument ensues, leading OP to retreat to their room, devastated over the loss of the money they needed for their new apartment and the move.

OP uncovered a note from their mother admitting to taking some of the money against the rules. They presented it to their case manager, pointing out the distinct difference in handwriting to expose their mother's dishonesty.

OP gained financial independence by becoming their own payee, setting up a separate bank account, and ensuring direct deposits to protect their money from their mother.

The Power of Self-Advocacy

OP's mother threatened to withhold the next month's funds if they complained, but their threat to report her prevented her from doing so, possibly due to fear of legal consequences.

With authorities notified, the family had no leverage left, and OP's warning to involve the police in case of physical harm limited their options.

The family's attempt to learn OP's new location was met with a resolute refusal, as OP made it clear they wanted no further contact and expressed their intent to cut ties completely after moving out.

OP refused to disclose their new apartment's location to their mother (EM), signaling their intention to keep it confidential.

OP firmly declined to provide any hints about their new location to their grandmother (EG).

Their family's attempts at threats, intimidation, and scare tactics no longer had any effect on OP, now an independent adult.

Realizing she couldn't exploit OP, the mother (EM) began to largely ignore them, a change OP welcomed.

The mother stopped bothering OP, but the grandmother persistently tried to manipulate and guilt-trip them to no avail.

The grandmother (EG) repeatedly inquired about visits, including walking their dog, but OP firmly declined each time with a simple "No."

The grandmother (EG) questioned OP's behavior, to which OP responded by cutting ties, citing EG's support of their abuser.

Fed up with enduring their family's ongoing hardships and realizing they no longer had to tolerate it, OP decided to break free from the toxic situation.

While saving money to move out, OP isolated themselves in their locked bedroom, using earbuds to drown out their intrusive grandmother's voice.

Fearing for their pet cat's safety, OP stayed home to prevent their family from harming the animal, as they had done before to upset OP.

In their last days at home, OP saw little of their mother (EM), and on the final day, their grandmother (EG) inappropriately ordered the movers to arrive early, despite OP being the one who hired and paid them.

OP told their grandmother to step aside because the movers were coming soon, and she eventually moved.

OP was annoyed that the movers confirmed the schedule with their grandmother and asserted that they should have contacted OP directly.

The movers, unaware of the situation, were apologetic and offered to reschedule. However, OP, already awake, decided to let them come as planned.

OP was eager to leave their home and felt overwhelmed with frustration, although they recognized it wasn't the movers' fault.

OP's mother and grandmother made a fuss about returning the house keys when they moved out, which OP considered a petty act of revenge, though they had already planned to return the keys.

As an act of retaliation, the family issued an eviction notice to OP, blaming their "bad attitude" and threatening legal action, even though their actions, including theft, had hindered OP's ability to save for the move.

OP saw through their family's empty legal threats, viewing it as a form of punishment for defying them, despite their imminent plan to move out.

As the movers completed their task, OP silently dropped the keys on their grandmother's chest as a final gesture before leaving.

The movers provided a ride to the new place, and as the last box was brought in, OP looked forward to the peace and quiet of their new home.

Years have passed without contact, except for a glimpse of the mother (EM) from a bus. OP learned of their grandmother's passing and their mother's relocation to another state.

OP refrained from pressing charges against their mother, acknowledging that the legal process would be emotionally taxing due to her spiteful nature.

Acknowledging their family's emotional manipulation skills and insufficient evidence, OP opted not to press charges, finding peace in their family's permanent absence from their life.

While they got away with it, OP found solace in finally parting ways with their family.

OP has more stories to share about these terrible individuals if anyone is interested in hearing them.

OP expresses a strong desire for their entitled grandmother to suffer in the afterlife and for their mother to eventually share the same fate.

Here's a TLDR:

In an edit, OP expresses gratitude to those who awarded them silver and gold medals.

No father; mother adopted as a single parent. Grandfather passed away when OP was a baby, so no memories of him.

Expressing gratitude for the support, OP mentions they are doing much better since permanently removing their mother from their life.

Indeed, it's great to hear that OP escaped from such unpleasant company. Here's to a brighter, drama-free future!

Absolutely right, nobody should have to endure living with "those" beings. May life now be filled with the happiness they truly deserve.

Absolutely! OP's escape from those toxic individuals is a victory for peace and sanity. Here's to brighter days ahead!

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