AITA for Giving Dating Advice to a Friend and Pursuing Their Crush?

Some friendships feel like safety nets, until one confession shatters the whole group. In this story, a 29-year-old woman spent hours helping her friend Sarah (27) write the perfect message to their mutual crush, Alex (30), and the next day everything went sideways.

Sarah planned to tell Alex how she felt at an upcoming gathering, but when the moment arrived she froze. Instead of standing back, the OP pulled Alex aside and confessed her own feelings, only to hear him say he felt the same way about her.

Now Sarah is devastated and the friend group is split, because the “help” the OP gave turned into a relationship she didn’t even see coming.

Original Post

So I'm (29F) part of a close-knit group of friends. Recently, one of my friends, let's call her Sarah (27F), asked me for dating advice on how to approach our mutual friend, Alex (30M), whom she's had a crush on for months.

I spent hours helping her craft the perfect message and giving her tips on how to express her feelings. The next day, Sarah told me she was planning to tell Alex how she felt at our upcoming gathering.

During the event, I noticed Sarah getting cold feet. She kept hesitating and seemed nervous.

Feeling bad for her, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I ended up pulling Alex aside and confessing my own feelings for him.

To my surprise, he confessed he felt the same way about me. We've been on a few dates since, and things are going great between us.

However, Sarah found out about us and is devastated. She feels betrayed, especially since she confided in me and sought my advice.

Our friend group is now divided, with some siding with Sarah and others supporting my decision. I didn't intend to hurt Sarah, but I can't deny the connection I feel with Alex.

I value my friendship with Sarah, but I also don't want to give up a potential relationship with someone I genuinely care about. So AITA?

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This is similar to the AITA where the poster tried to protect Sarah’s feelings while dealing with her crush, risking the friendship.

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The night of the gathering, Sarah kept hesitating, while the OP watched her talk herself out of telling Alex the truth.

After hours of crafting a message with Sarah, the OP still ended up confessing to Alex herself, and that is where the betrayal feelings started.

Once Alex and the OP started dating, Sarah found out and acted like the friendship contract got ripped up in public.

Now the group is taking sides, with some backing the OP for going for what she wanted, and others siding with Sarah for trusting her.</p>

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

The craziest part is, the OP didn’t just steal a chance at love, she stole the moment Sarah couldn’t grab.

Want the twist where I give advice to Sarah, then ask Alex out first? Read this AITA about dating advice loyalty versus pursuing their crush.