AITA for Not Inviting Friend on Vacation Over Debt Dispute?

It started with a simple vacation invite, and somehow it ended with a $1,500 debt dispute and a friend getting blocked in the middle of the trip. OP planned a getaway with her best friend Hannah, and because life at Willow’s house is stressful, she added Willow too. That was the whole guest list.

But Tara, OP’s now ex friend, was also tangled in the same niche community and knew everyone involved. OP says she and Tara had already been repairing things, including a loan for rent and utilities that Tara was supposed to repay from financial aid. Then, right as they left for the trip on Jan 24, Tara started sending attitude and insisting she should have been invited, even though OP claims she would have needed her own car and her own hotel room.

Now OP wants her money back, Tara wants to call her entitled, and the vacation drama is still echoing months later.

Original Post

So I (30F) have a now ex friend Tara (21F). We share a niche community.

Therefore we have a lot of overlap in friends. Well I planned a trip with my best friend Hannah.

We then invited Willow cuz life is kinda stressful at their house. That's it.

That's the guest list. Both also friends with Tara.

This all happened Sept/Oct before Tara and I made up. I'm not sure when Tara and I made up.

Dec 1st I even loaned her money for rent and utilities to be paid back out of her financial aid (paid out in Jan/Feb). Fast forward to Jan 24th.

We leave 10 for our vacation. We get to the hotel and settle in.

By this point I've been getting attitude from Tara. Willow says Tara messaged her.

So I got upset and messaged Tara. She then goes OFF.

She feels she could have attended. How?

She owes me 1500? Because, that if she came she would have had to take her own car and pay for her own hotel room.

That's costly. I ended up having to block her to enjoy my vacation.

I'm very upset by this point. I feel she's being an entitled snob.

You can't expect preplanned and prepaid plans to be rearranged around you. I unblocked (Jan 26th) her to let her know I wanted my 1500 back.

I misquoted for 2k at first. I will admit, that's my bad.

I went to Cashapp to investigate. Sure enough, I was wrong.

Well she blocked me. I decided to message one of her friends (also a community member but I'm not close at all with them) basically saying she has until April 26th (90ish days out from Jan 26th).

She then unblocks me just to call me the queen of entitled and "have fun shitting away more money". AITA here?

Because I feel I've done nothing wrong. Things are allowed to happen without ppl.

And loans are to be paid back even if we aren't friends anymore. Right?

**ETA and Clean up timeline** A) Tara was blocked because of the barrage of messages. "This is not how you treat your friends" or "I could have afforded it".

No, you still owe me 1500. B) Texting the friend was rude.

I will own that. I will apologize at an event later if she's comfortable with that (consent is big for our community).

C) The early debt collection is now. Via court.

Vs February or April. D) Yes I'm actually 30.

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This is similar to a couple asking parents to cover wedding expenses after the parents caused the guest-count explosion.

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Right away, OP’s timeline makes it messy, because Tara wasn’t just “left out,” she was also the person OP says she loaned rent and utilities to back in early December.

Then the trip starts on Jan 24, Tara’s messages get directed at Willow, and OP snaps back because she’s already dealing with Tara’s attitude.

After OP blocks Tara to save her vacation, she unblocks her on Jan 26 to clarify the repayment amount, only for Tara to block her again and escalate the insults.

And when OP messages one of Tara’s community friends to set a repayment deadline for April 26, Tara unblocks just long enough to call OP entitled and start throwing shade about “shitting away” money.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

OP might not have invited Tara, but she is still showing up for the part where the $1,500 gets paid back.

If you’re dealing with fairness over money, read about someone debating whether to contest a will that favors their sibling.