Am I the Jerk for Refusing to Let My Friend's Baby Nap in My Baby's Crib?
AITA for refusing my friend's baby to nap in my baby's crib? Hygiene concerns and personal space clash with friendship expectations.
A 27-year-old mom refused to let her friend’s 6-month-old baby nap in her baby boy’s crib, and now that friendship is on the rocks. The request sounded small, even reasonable on paper, but it kept coming back, along with a new set of expectations.
Her friend Sarah, a single mom who works long hours as a nurse, often drops her daughter Mia off at OP’s place for overtime or errands. Sarah asked if Mia could nap in Jake’s crib because it’s more comfortable than the portable setup she brings. OP said no at first, citing hygiene and personal space for Jake, and suggested the playpen or Mia’s own portable crib instead.
Then Sarah tried again, got upset, and texted OP that Mia is “used to” the crib, making OP wonder if she really went too far.
Original Post
So I'm (27F), and my friend Sarah (26F) has a 6-month-old baby girl, Mia. Sarah and I have been close friends since high school, and we both had our babies around the same time, so our little ones are like cousins.
For background, Sarah is a single mom and works long hours as a nurse. She often drops Mia off at my place when she has to work overtime or run errands.
I have a cozy nursery set up for my baby boy, Jake, with all his essentials, including a crib where he naps and sleeps comfortably. Last week, Sarah asked if Mia could nap in Jake's crib while at my place because she prefers that crib to the makeshift one she brings along.
I hesitated but eventually said no, explaining that I feel uncomfortable with another baby sleeping in Jake's crib due to hygiene reasons and the need for personal space for Jake. Sarah seemed a bit hurt but didn't push it further.
Yesterday, we had a similar situation, and Sarah asked again if Mia could nap in Jake's crib. I reiterated my stance and suggested she bring Mia's portable crib or playpen.
Sarah looked upset and left quickly. Today, Sarah texted me saying she feels I'm being unreasonable and that Mia is used to Jake's crib.
She also mentioned that it's inconvenient for her to carry Mia's items around. She feels I should be more accommodating since we're good friends.
So, Reddit, AITA for not letting Sarah's baby nap in my baby's crib?
The Significance of Personal Space
Personal space, especially regarding possessions like a baby's crib, carries significant psychological weight.
Comment from u/rainbow_sushi22
Comment from u/Inner-Pineapple-809
The first “no” happened after Sarah asked for Mia to nap in Jake’s crib, and OP basically set a boundary and offered the portable crib solution.
Social norms and expectations can complicate relationships, particularly among parents navigating their unique challenges.
Comment from u/moonlit_breeze
Comment from u/Salty_Seaweed75
The second request was yesterday, and when OP repeated the same hygiene and personal space reasons, Sarah walked out fast.
Impact of Stress and Responsibility
Managing interpersonal relationships while juggling childcare responsibilities is undoubtedly complex and often challenging.
Comment from u/coffee_unicorn007
Comment from u/jazzandcats
Today’s text from Sarah is where it gets messy, since she claims OP is unreasonable and says Mia is already used to that crib.
What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.
Comment from u/tech_gamer_girl
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Comment from u/pizza_unicorn123
OP’s real sticking point is that Sarah wants the convenience of Jake’s nursery without carrying Mia’s items, and the friendship is now paying the price.
This situation highlights the intricate balancing act between personal boundaries and the expectations of friendship.
OP might not be the jerk, but Sarah is definitely treating Jake’s crib like a shared resource.
For another best-friend blowup, read how she canceled her birthday party after the bully showed up.
