Am I Wrong for Keeping Leftovers from Friend After Dinner Party?

A 28-year-old woman went through the effort of hosting a full dinner party, only to get hit with the leftovers question, and it turned into an awkward little boundary battle with her friend Sarah.

Sarah (27) loved the food so much she asked to take leftovers for lunch the next day. Normally, OP would be fine with it, but she already planned to pack those same leftovers for her own week of meals. To make it messier, Sarah is known for being forgetful and borrowing things without returning them, so OP has trust issues around giving her anything.

And the next day, that same request came back around, right when OP really needed the food for herself.

Original Post

I (28F) recently hosted a dinner party at my place. I spent hours preparing a delicious meal for my friends, including my friend Sarah (27F).

During the dinner, Sarah kept complimenting the food and even asked if she could take home some leftovers for her lunch the next day. Normally, I would have no issue with this, but on this occasion, I had planned to pack up the leftovers for my own lunches throughout the week.

Quick context: Sarah tends to be forgetful and often borrows things without returning them. I've lost a few items this way, so I've become wary of lending her stuff.

So, when Sarah asked for the leftovers, I hesitated and said that I was looking forward to enjoying them myself. She seemed a bit taken aback but didn’t push further at the party.

However, the next day, she called me and asked again if she could swing by and pick up some food, emphasizing that she loved it so much. I felt torn between being a good friend and asserting my boundaries, knowing that if I gave her the food, it might not be returned.

I politely told her that I wasn't comfortable giving away the leftovers this time. Sarah sounded disappointed and said she understood, but I could sense some tension in her voice.

Now, I'm feeling guilty for not sharing, but at the same time, I value my friendship with Sarah and don't want to enable her forgetful behavior. So, AITA for not letting her take home the food?

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It also echoes the AITA poster uninviting a friend after a dinner party dietary misunderstanding.

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Right in the middle of the dinner party, Sarah’s “can I take some leftovers?” comment hits harder because OP was already counting those portions for her own lunches.

After OP politely said no, Sarah didn’t argue at the table, but the tension clearly followed her home.

The next day, Sarah called again and tried to sweeten it with how much she “loved it,” while OP kept thinking about all the borrowed stuff that never came back.

Now OP is stuck feeling guilty, even though she’s worried that giving Sarah the food will just reinforce the same forgetful pattern.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

OP isn’t wrong for guarding her leftovers, especially when Sarah has a history of “borrowing” and disappearing.

Before you decide, read the debate over refusing lunch sharing to a forgetful colleague who needs it.