Am I Wrong for Refusing to Drive 14 Hours for My Husbands Boys Trip?

Driving 14 hours sounds like a small favor, until it becomes a border-crossing, car-sharing, phone-security nightmare. And in this Reddit post, a 49-year-old woman is getting blamed for not wanting to be the family taxi for her husband’s “boys trip.”

Here’s the problem: her car just blew up, replacement options are tricky, and she and her husband are sharing his vehicle. His birthday trip is planned, he wants to fly to Seattle, and he’s asking her to drive him there on Friday, then do the same drive again on Sunday, because flights from Canada are way pricier. To make it worse, crossing the border can mean guards will dig into her phone and social media, and she says she doesn’t feel safe doing that, especially with her navigation access gone.

Now the argument is spiraling, and she’s wondering if she’s actually the unreasonable one.

Original Post

My other half(59M) I(49F) married 24 years. The engine in my car recently blew up and it seems to have been an issue with my make and model so finding a replacement has been difficult.

So we are sharing a car. His birthday is coming up and he wants to boys trip.

Awesome. He looks at flights to get to his friends.

From where we are in Canada it’s approximately $1000 return. Out of Seattle would be approximately $300 with exchange.

He wants me to drive him to Seattle to drop him off at the airport and drive back. Round trip, best circumstance it’s a 7 hour trip.

He is wanting me to do this on the Friday then do it again on the Sunday. Crossing the border is precarious as border guards will access your social media, your phone, etc.

I would not feel safe crossing with my phone. So my navigation ability is gone.

I suggested that I get him to Bellingham and he take the train down. It’s $20 apparently a beautiful ride.

He thinks I’m being selfish for not driving him. I told him to take the car then.

He then said I was being unreasonable. That if it was my friend asked I would do it.

I said my friend wouldn’t ask, she knows I hate long drive. So AITA for not wanting to drive for 14 hours between 3 day for my husband?

Comment from u/donovansgirl

Comment from u/Sea_Pop6491

Comment from u/extinct_diplodocus

Comment from u/ZippyKoala

Comment from u/cchrissyy

Comment from u/Chicago-Lake-Witch

Comment from u/joellecarnes

Comment from u/jypziruin

Comment from u/Due_Barber_525

That secret recipe betrayal in the cookie tradition is like when family expectations override your boundaries.

Family Holiday Cookie Baking Tradition Ruined by Secret Recipe Betrayal

Comment from u/ihadone

Comment from u/s12kbh

Comment from u/plemyrameter

Comment from u/456name789

Comment from u/SeegzyRedditRead

Comment from u/No_Reputation5871

Comment from u/jypziruin

Comment from u/GalianoGirl

Comment from u/kaaria11

Comment from u/Sea-Contact5009

When her husband’s car-sharing plan turns into a Friday and Sunday Seattle routine, the whole trip starts to feel less like a birthday gift and more like unpaid labor.

The moment she points out that border guards may access her phone and social media, his “just drive me” request gets way harder to swallow.

After she suggests Bellingham and a $20 train ride, he calls her selfish, and suddenly it’s not about logistics, it’s about control.

He argues that if it were her friend asking she would do it, but she fires back that her friend wouldn’t even ask because she knows how much she hates long drives.

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

She’s not refusing a trip, she’s refusing to be stuck in a 14-hour border gamble just to prove a point.

Want more family blowups over responsibilities, read what happened when I stopped hosting reunions.

Family Reunion Drama: AITA for Passing on Hosting Duties This Year?