30 Y.O. Proposes To His Younger Friend On April Fools' Day After Finding Out She Wanted To Be "Submissive Wife"

A 23-year-old confided in her friends that she fit into the traditional subservient wife archetype. OP had no plans to marry just yet but imagined how easily she would fall into the conventional gender roles in a relationship.

OP said she would "spoil her husband rotten." She wanted to be a wife who gave her husband massages, prepared all his meals, fixed his ties every morning, and gave him the deciding vote in all their choices.

In return for being a devoted wife, OP expected her husband to remain loyal to her and not abuse the power she relinquished to harm her. OP's friends disliked her philosophy and said it made her vulnerable to being preyed upon.

OP said her ideology didn't mean she believed men were superior to women, as her friends implied. She just thought being submissive was the best way, at least for her, to "please" her future husband.

OP said she had been a passive person most of her life. While she was no longer frightfully timid, she went out of her way to avoid conflicts with others.

OP wondered if she was too submissive after witnessing her friends' strong reaction to her declaration. On the other hand, one of their male friends found OP's conventional thinking attractive.

Unknown to OP, someone in their friend group repeated their conversation to their 30-year-old friend, B.

Imtoosubmissive

Reminder, OP's post was in 2016.

Imtoosubmissive

Exploring Gender Roles and Expectations

Dr. Judith Butler, a noted gender theorist, emphasizes that societal expectations around gender roles can significantly influence personal relationships.

Her work highlights the pressure individuals face to conform to traditional roles, which can create conflict in modern relationships.

This tension is particularly evident in situations where one partner expresses a desire to embrace more traditional roles, triggering complex emotional dynamics.

The initial reaction to her confession in the subreddit was generally supportive. Plenty of Redditors told OP she was the ideal wife men dreamed of marrying someday.

bobmarley27, Imtoosubmissive

This proved to be true when B contacted OP to meet him on April Fools' Day. OP thought her friend would pull another prank like he did when she was in college.

Imtoosubmissive

Research in sociology suggests that traditional gender roles can lead to dissatisfaction in relationships when partners have differing expectations. Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned sex therapist, states, "When individuals feel confined by societal roles, it can create significant tension and conflict in their relationships." Understanding these dynamics is crucial for fostering healthier communication and relationship satisfaction. According to Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist, "It's essential for partners to openly discuss their desires and expectations to avoid misunderstandings and build a stronger connection." For further insights, visit Dr. Laura Berman's website and Dr. Pepper Schwartz's website.

B got on one knee and proposed to OP. She thought the whole thing was an elaborate joke. She laughed as she repeatedly asked B if he was serious.

B sheepishly said it was an April Fools' joke, and they parted ways amicably. Another friend informed OP that B had been sad since that day.

Imtoosubmissive

B's proposal was genuine. He thought he had a shot with OP after he found out she wanted to be a "submissive wife." OP was confused because she never viewed B as more than a friend.

Imtoosubmissive

The Implications of Submissive Role Desires

Dr. Patricia Hill Collins, a sociologist known for her work on intersectionality, argues that submissive role desires can stem from societal conditioning and personal experiences.

This conditioning may lead individuals to embrace roles that do not reflect their true selves, causing internal conflict and dissatisfaction.

Addressing these underlying issues through open dialogue can help partners navigate their relationship dynamics more effectively.

This all happened within a week of OP telling her friends she was the submissive type.

littlestray

Even their friends were blindsided by B's proposal to OP. They were aware that B was immature for his age, but OP never could have imagined him pulling this stunt.

Imtoosubmissive

To foster healthier relationship dynamics, couples can benefit from engaging in open conversations about their expectations and desires.

Research indicates that effective communication is key to understanding each partner's needs and fostering mutual respect.

By creating a space where both partners feel safe expressing their desires, couples can build stronger connections and reduce misunderstandings.

Redditors felt he timed the proposal to have April Fools' Day as a cover if OP rejected him.

Hernaneisrio88

They asked if OP noticed a difference in how B treated her versus their other friends.

backseat_adventurer

Navigating Relationship Expectations

Therapists recommend establishing clear boundaries and expectations to enhance relationship satisfaction.

According to studies, couples who engage in negotiations around roles and responsibilities often report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships.

This approach encourages both partners to feel valued and understood, promoting a healthier dynamic overall.

If OP thought the friendship was worth saving, an honest conversation with B was necessary.

backseat_adventurer

OP said B treated her the same way he treated their other friends. Before her talk with B, she needed to ask their friend who disclosed the submissive conversation about what exactly she told him that could have led to the proposal.

Imtoosubmissive

OP doubted every interaction she had with B because his confession colored every memory she had with him in an unfavorable light. Was he ever her friend, or did he always harbor feelings toward her and hope she would eventually feel the same?

OP's characterization of a "submissive wife" was genuinely alarming. Here's to hoping she grows out of that mentality and no longer believes she needs to be subservient to keep her partner happy.

OP said she planned to do what she could to get her friendship with B back to normal because he was a good friend to her.

Imtoosubmissive

3 days later, OP shared another update. B asked to speak to her. He confessed he was half-serious about the proposal. B was gauging if OP liked him the same way he had for years.

Imtoosubmissive

During their conversation, B asked OP out. She rejected him politely. B stormed off after the sting of another rejection. OP said their friendship seemed irreparable after that.

Imtoosubmissive

Redditors commented on how immaturely B behaved about the whole thing. It was alarming for a 30-year-old man to act that way.

Ag3nt0

They helped OP realize her friendship with B was never real. They believed he always thought of her as a potential partner.

prettyprincess90, Imtoosubmissive

It was questionable that he rushed into a relationship with OP only after he found out she tended to be submissive in relationships.

zeezle, Imtoosubmissive

OP said she regretted disclosing that to her friends.

thebabes2, Imtoosubmissive

Redditors who read OP's story recently hoped she had matured over the years.

bored_german, infiltrator_seven

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the complexities of navigating traditional gender roles in modern relationships.

Recognizing these dynamics allows individuals to address underlying issues and create healthier relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the impact of gender roles and expectations is crucial for fostering healthy relationships.

As noted by various sociological studies, addressing these dynamics through open communication can lead to greater satisfaction.

By navigating desires and expectations thoughtfully, couples can create more fulfilling connections.