Redditor Shares Frustrations Over His Roommate Who Feels He Is Entitled To His Money Since They Live Together

Bad roommates can be one of the stressors of your college life. Having a difficult roommate can turn your dorm, which is meant to be a cozy haven, into a source of discomfort.

Aside from dealing with their various quirks and habits, you might also find yourself facing unexpected challenges. These could include disagreements over shared responsibilities, differing schedules, or even conflicts over personal space.

A Redditor shows online users the perfect example of a bad roommate. User brandonandtheboyds shared his frustration over a roommate on the ChoosingBeggars subreddit.

According to the original poster (OP), it was during college when he was roommates with two guys — a good roommate and a bad roommate. The first instance where the OP discovered that he had a bad roommate, whom he calls BR in the post, was when the guy brought sunglasses on a white-water rafting trip.

The BR lost the pair and then asked his roommates for money to replace them. Believe it or not, the BR got upset, telling both the OP and the other roommate that they were selfish.

The good roommate — whom the OP calls GR — buys milk. However, BR would consume the milk, compelling GR to keep his milk inside the fridge in his locked room.

Additionally, BR would constantly pressure the OP to buy a large TV for the common room despite the OP's repeated refusals.

The OP is frustrated over his roommate's sense of entitlement. He decided to share the story with an online community.

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He tells the community all the instances that make his bad roommate a choosing beggar.

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One time, this roommate brought his sunglasses to a white-water rafting trip.

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The Roots of Entitlement in Relationships

Entitlement often stems from early developmental experiences where individuals learn to expect their needs to be met without question.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, notes that this behavior can arise when individuals feel insecure in their relationships, leading them to assert dominance over shared resources.

When living with others, especially roommates, financial discussions can become a minefield of underlying psychological issues related to trust and fairness.

The guy lost his sunglasses. Now, he wants money from the OP and the other roommate so he can replace them.

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The bad roommate would drink the other roommate's milk.

There were even times when the other roommate didn't get to drink any of the milk he bought.

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The bad roommate wanted the OP to buy a large TV so that BR could enjoy it with his friends in the common room.

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Research indicates that clear communication is crucial in resolving conflicts related to perceived entitlement.

By establishing boundaries early, roommates can create a framework that supports mutual respect and understanding.

Psychologists emphasize using 'I' statements—like 'I feel uncomfortable when...'—to express feelings without assigning blame, which can facilitate healthier discussions about finances.

When the OP refused to purchase the TV, the bad roommate called him selfish.

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What a parasite!

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Lots of people can relate to the OP's challenges with a bad roommate.

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Understanding Co-dependency Dynamics

Co-dependency can often play a role in financial disputes among roommates, particularly when one person feels overly responsible for the other's well-being.

According to studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, co-dependency can lead to an imbalance where one partner feels entitled to resources or support, thus complicating the relationship further.

It's essential for those in shared living situations to recognize these dynamics and actively work to maintain a balance that honors each person’s autonomy.

It's really annoying when roommates feel that they're entitled to your money and items.

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Some roommates act like they're thieves.

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On top of being annoying, it's definitely challenging to have a roommate who thinks they own your stuff and money. Sadly, most college students have no choice but to bear with it until they move out.

The best solution against these people is to keep your food and belongings in your room so the bad roommate won't have access to them. Make sure to stand your ground when they ask for money.

It's perfectly okay to say no when you feel uncomfortable lending or sharing money with someone who is not respecting your boundaries. Be assertive, polite, and clear in your communication.

Implementing a financial agreement can be an effective strategy to mitigate conflicts about money.

Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that written agreements can clarify expectations and responsibilities, reducing misunderstandings.

Moreover, regular check-ins on financial matters can help roommates address any emerging issues proactively and maintain a healthy relationship.

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights common psychological patterns where individuals may feel entitled due to their own insecurities or past experiences.

It's essential to recognize that these feelings often stem from unmet needs in earlier life stages, which can manifest in adult relationships.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding entitlement in shared living situations is crucial for maintaining a harmonious relationship.

As Dr. Gottman emphasizes, addressing underlying insecurities and establishing clear communication can significantly improve dynamics between roommates.