She Helped Set Them Up, Planned The Proposal, And Spent $300 On An Outfit For The Wedding - Then Found Out She Wasn’t Invited

Reddit user u/Tessy23 has been best friends with Tom since childhood and even introduced him to her high school friend Emma years ago. The matchmaking worked, and the couple had been happily together for nearly a decade.

When Tom decided to propose to Emma, the OP helped plan an elaborate engagement and was later asked to be his best man. She accepted and soon found herself heavily involved in wedding planning.

Emma regularly checked in with the OP about every detail, from flowers to whether Tom approved certain ideas. The OP happily gave her time and energy, believing she was an important part of the wedding.

Emma later asked the OP to wear a suit instead of a dress since she’d be walking with Emma’s sister. After struggling to find something that fit properly, the OP spent about $300 on a tailored suit, shoes, and a white shirt.

Then, just days before the wedding, Emma called with unexpected news. The couple had decided to cancel everything and elope instead.

Emma also told the OP she was no longer invited, and that eloping had been discussed for months. That detail upset the OP, who felt blindsided after all the time and money she’d invested.

The OP asked to be reimbursed for the suit she bought specifically for the wedding. Emma refused, saying she should just be happy for them and that a black suit could be worn again.

Tom later apologized for not telling her sooner, but agreed she was being unreasonable. He also revealed Emma didn’t want her there because she believed a best man should be male.

Feeling hurt and dismissed, the OP cut off contact. Now she’s asking Reddit: was she really the one in the wrong?

Emma asked the OP to wear a suit instead of a dress since she’d be walking with Emma’s sister.

AI-generated image

Here’s the original post by Reddit user ‘Tessy23’.

I (29F) have a best friend, Tom (29M), with whom I have been friends for 23 years. Ten years ago, I kind of played matchmaker and introduced him to my high school friend, Emma (29F). They matched together perfectly, and since then, they've been happy.Two years ago, I helped him create a pretty elaborate engagement proposal, and she accepted. A month later, Tom asked me to be his best man, and I accepted as well. Since then, she started to make big plans for the wedding and kind of kept me busy all the time, asking what Tom said about this and about that. Does he really like the flowers and so on? She asked me if I could wear a suit, not a dress, for the wedding since I am going to be walking with her sister as the best man. I was a bit hesitant, but finally, I agreed, and we picked a tailored suit for me, since I have quite big breasts, and nothing in store fitted me properly. I spent about $300 on the suit, shoes, and a nice white shirt.On Wednesday, she called me and told me they are basically cancelling the wedding and they decided to elope on Friday as they were planning on some time already. She also informed me I am not invited anymore because she wants just her sister and my BF's brothers there. I was shocked and asked her how long she had known about it. She explained that it was a possibility from the beginning, and they discussed it several months ago.It pissed me off because I spent hours going through wedding stuff with her, and also, I spent money on the tailored suit she persuaded me to buy for the wedding. I told her she could have decided before she made me spend money and put all the effort into something that is not going to happen and asked her to pay for my suit since I am not going to give it any use. Emma got angry, told me I am a jerk for not being happy for them, and that she is not going to pay me anything since it is a black suit I can use in plenty of occasions. Tom later called me to apologise for not telling me sooner, but he also thinks I am unreasonable for wanting them to pay for the suit.Also, he told me Emma does not want me at the wedding because she thinks the best man should be a man. I told him to cut the crap, hang up the phone, and haven’t spoken to either one of them since. Tom sent me some photos of their rings and of them as newlyweds, but I did not reply. So, Reddit, AITA?

Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.

Saraqael_Rising

Sounds like Emma is insecure.

Super_Ad5277

Just sit back and enjoy the tea.

HardyWeGotTheMeats

That’s pretty inconsiderate.

Exciting-Doughnut307

You don’t need them in your life.

trae74

Time to find better friends.

samidale21

NTA.

Slow-Ad6423

They need to repay you!

cityzombie

Keep the suit.

Ilovefrogsx

That’s messed up.

Mysticassfire

They don’t deserve your friendship.

elzjera26

Tom needs to cough up for the suit.

tsscaramel

Seems like your friendship was only worth $300.

Landminan

In the end, the OP is left wondering whether she truly crossed a line or whether her feelings were completely justified. What started as a joyful celebration ended with hurt feelings, unanswered messages, and a friendship that may never look the same again.