She Helped Set Them Up, Planned The Proposal, And Spent $300 On An Outfit For The Wedding - Then Found Out She Wasn’t Invited

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this story is proof. A 29-year-old woman spent months helping plan her best friend Tom’s wedding, including being pulled into proposal details and constant “just asking” conversations about flowers, outfits, and the whole vibe.

Then Emma, Tom’s fiancée, hit her with a very specific request: wear a suit instead of a dress, since OP would be walking with Emma’s sister. OP agreed, even though she had trouble finding something that fit right, and dropped about $300 on a tailored suit, shoes, and a white shirt.

And just like that, after all the time and money, Emma called to announce they were canceling the wedding and eloping on Friday, while also uninviting OP completely.

Emma asked the OP to wear a suit instead of a dress since she’d be walking with Emma’s sister.

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Original Post

I (29F) have a best friend, Tom (29M), with whom I have been friends for 23 years. Ten years ago, I kind of played matchmaker and introduced him to my high school friend, Emma (29F). They matched together perfectly, and since then, they've been happy.

Two years ago, I helped him create a pretty elaborate engagement proposal, and she accepted. A month later, Tom asked me to be his best man, and I accepted as well. Since then, she started to make big plans for the wedding and kind of kept me busy all the time, asking what Tom said about this and about that. Does he really like the flowers and so on? She asked me if I could wear a suit, not a dress, for the wedding since I am going to be walking with her sister as the best man. I was a bit hesitant, but finally, I agreed, and we picked a tailored suit for me, since I have quite big breasts, and nothing in store fitted me properly. I spent about $300 on the suit, shoes, and a nice white shirt.On Wednesday, she called me and told me they are basically cancelling the wedding and they decided to elope on Friday as they were planning on some time already. She also informed me I am not invited anymore because she wants just her sister and my BF's brothers there. I was shocked and asked her how long she had known about it.It pissed me off because I spent hours going through wedding stuff with her, and also, I spent money on the tailored suit she persuaded me to buy for the wedding. I told her she could have decided before she made me spend money and put all the effort into something that is not going to happen and asked her to pay for my suit since I am not going to give it any use. Emma got angry, told me I am a jerk for not being happy for them, and that she is not going to pay me anything since it is a black suit I can use in plenty of occasions. Tom later called me to apologise for not telling me sooner, but he also thinks I am unreasonable for wanting them to pay for the suit.Also, he told me Emma does not want me at the wedding because she thinks the best man should be a man. I told him to cut the crap, hang up the phone, and haven’t spoken to either one of them since. Tom sent me some photos of their rings and of them as newlyweds, but I did not reply. So, Reddit, AITA?

Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.

Saraqael_Rising

Sounds like Emma is insecure.

Super_Ad5277

Just sit back and enjoy the tea.

HardyWeGotTheMeats

That’s pretty inconsiderate.

Exciting-Doughnut307

You don’t need them in your life.

trae74

Time to find better friends.

samidale21

This also feels like the AITA where someone changed the rules mid-game and siblings accused them of cheating.

NTA.

Slow-Ad6423

They need to repay you!

cityzombie

Keep the suit.

Ilovefrogsx

That’s messed up.

Mysticassfire

They don’t deserve your friendship.

elzjera26

Tom needs to cough up for the suit.

tsscaramel

Seems like your friendship was only worth $300.

Landminan

It started with Emma asking OP to switch from a dress to a suit so she could walk with her sister at the wedding.

After OP spent hours helping with wedding stuff and paid $300 for a tailored outfit, Emma still kept changing the plan in the background.

The phone call hit hard, when Emma said the wedding was basically canceled and OP was no longer invited to the elopement.

Tom later apologized for not telling OP sooner, but Emma refused to reimburse the suit money and called OP a jerk.

In the end, the OP is left wondering whether she truly crossed a line or whether her feelings were completely justified. What started as a joyful celebration ended with hurt feelings, unanswered messages, and a friendship that may never look the same again.

Nobody wants to spend $300 on a wedding outfit only to be cut out before the elopement.

To see how staying neutral can backfire, read about the OP refusing to take sides in their parents’ bitter divorce.

Caught in the Middle: Refusing to Take Sides in Parents Divorce - AITA?