BIL Drank My Pumped Milk That Was "Smelling Bad," AITA For Being Disgusted And Losing My Cool?
"I was feeding the baby, so I couldn't react, but once he settled, I lost my cool"
A 28-year-old woman thought a family hangout would be normal, then her husband’s brother Josh showed up with shot glasses and a “funny” plan. Except the shots were pumped breast milk, and she was not amused.
In the middle of a small family gathering, Josh poured breast milk like it was some kind of party game, and everyone’s reactions turned into instant awkwardness. OP’s MIL tried to brush it off, saying it wasn’t like he stole it from the baby, but OP felt like the whole thing crossed a line, especially because breastmilk is deeply personal for her.
By the time the comments rolled in, this wasn’t just a gross-out moment, it turned into a full-blown debate about consent, respect, and what counts as “too far.”
The OP writes...
RedditIt was a small family gathering over the weekend with OP's husband's close family
RedditThe husband's brother Josh pulled out shot glasses and poured the breast milk
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That’s when Josh, the guy pouring the shots, went from “family” to “why are we doing this at all?” for OP.
Parental reactions in stressful situations are often a reflection of deeper emotional stressors. New parents frequently face overwhelming feelings of anxiety and fear about their parenting choices.
These emotional responses can lead to losing one's cool, especially in high-pressure environments like family gatherings. Parents can benefit from mindfulness techniques to help manage their emotions, ensuring better responses in challenging situations.
New parents should anticipate potential conflicts during family gatherings.
OP's MIL said that it's not like he took the milk from the baby
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The comments roll in...
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It's gross all around
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OP’s MIL defending it, “it’s not like he took it from the baby,” only made the situation feel even weirder to her.
They often juggle the expectations of extended family while trying to care for their infants, which can lead to heightened feelings of frustration. Discussing these boundaries with relatives can help alleviate pressure and create a more supportive environment for new parents.
This chaos is like an AITA moment when a roommate left an unflushed tampon in the toilet.
No cheap jokes
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It's weird and strange
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The OP left this update later on...
I went through most of the comments throughout the day and saw perspectives from both sides. Some people agree with me and see this as a violation while some don't which is fine. I think it all comes down to how people view breastfeeding/breastmilk in general, for some it's just milk for some (and for me) it's deeply personal. I would not hesitate to donate to a baby but a grown ass man or a body builder drinking is not cool with me.I called my FIL and apologised for my reaction. He was understanding about my perspective and apologised for not saying anything. We are good.I forwarded the post to my husband. We haven't had a chat yet (he is at work) but I am hoping he understands where I was coming from.For Josh, I am not getting him a bib for Christmas as someone commented (though that would be funny) but when I calm down I will have a chat with him.
The comments continues...
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The comment section split hard, with some people calling it gross all around and others treating it like harmless milk.
In the context of family gatherings, where emotions can run high, the need for emotional regulation becomes paramount.
The OP's allowed to be upset
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This Redditor is disgusted
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The rule of thumb
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OP ended up calling her FIL, apologizing for losing her cool, and now she’s waiting to see how her husband reacts when he gets home from work.
Research shows that these feelings can be exacerbated in social settings where their parenting decisions are scrutinized.
She's left wondering if she was overreacting or if her in-laws truly didn't understand the intimacy of breastfeeding.
As the family gathering came to a close, OP couldn't help but feel like she was the only one who saw the situation for what it truly was.
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This incident underscores the profound emotional weight that breastfeeding carries for new parents, intertwining vulnerability with attachment.
The recent incident involving a family member consuming milk that had gone bad illustrates the unique challenges new parents face during family gatherings. Such events can amplify emotional stress, particularly when it comes to parenting choices and boundaries. The reactions observed in this scenario highlight the need for open communication and mutual respect among family members. By fostering an environment where feelings can be expressed without judgment, families can diminish tension and misunderstandings. This incident serves as a reminder that many reactions are tied to deeper emotional concerns, and addressing these through mindfulness and dialogue could transform family gatherings from potential conflict zones into opportunities for connection and understanding.
The family dinner did not end well, and now OP is wondering if her husband’s side understands her boundary at all.
For another family business blowup, read about an AITA fight over hiring an unreliable cousin at a struggling coffee shop.
