Redditor’s Boyfriend Keeps Asking for Money; His Latest Request Makes Her Furious

A Reddit user recently shared a story that’s sparking serious debate about financial boundaries in relationships—and whether love should come with a price tag. Her boyfriend had asked to borrow $1,650 to pay off his taxes before the October 15 extended deadline.

It wasn’t the first time he’d needed help: he’d originally planned to pay her back in March but couldn’t afford it, so he filed for an extension. Since then, she’d been reminding him to save, but he continued spending freely despite earning minimum wage.

The Redditor says she’s helped him before. Four months ago, she lent him money for rent, which he promised to repay but never did. She also covers the cost of most of their outings since he lives paycheck to paycheck.

And while she’s financially secure, with a good job and solid savings, she’s starting to feel like her generosity is being taken for granted. When he asked again for help with his taxes, she finally said no.

That’s when things got tense. He accused her of being mean, of not caring, and even suggested he might end up in jail if she didn’t help—despite the fact that she’s been the one supporting him all along.

The next morning, he was cold and distant, leaving her feeling guilty and conflicted.

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“I feel bad,” she wrote, “because I’m not sure what consequences he’ll receive. But I’ve been the only one helping him this whole time.”

Now, she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong for refusing to lend him money—even though she has it. The internet, of course, has thoughts.

So, is she the villain for setting boundaries? Or is she finally standing up for herself in a relationship that’s starting to feel more transactional than romantic?

Original post by Reddit user vanzoffthewall

My boyfriend has been asking me to let him borrow around $1,650 for the taxes that he’s been needing to pay. Mind you, this is for the October 15 extended deadline.

He was supposed to pay this back in March but couldn’t afford it, so he asked for an IRS extension. I’ve been reminding him that he needs to save money so he can pay it off, but all he likes to do is spend. On top of that, he is barely making minimum wage at his job.

I let him borrow money for his rent four months ago, and I have yet to see that money. He promised to pay me back but hasn’t. When we go out, I also pay a lot of the time because he lives paycheck to paycheck.

I am fortunate to have a well-paying job and fair savings in my account. It’s not the point; he just never listens when it comes to using his money wisely. I am very generous when it comes to money, but when he asked me again today, I told him no.

He says now that I’m a mean person and don’t care about him, and how he will end up in jail if he doesn’t pay up, when I’ve been the only one helping him this whole time. I feel bad because I’m not sure what consequences he will face. He has been acting pretty cold with me this morning, so AITA for not letting him borrow money even though I have it?

Understanding Financial Boundaries

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, emphasizes the importance of financial boundaries in romantic partnerships. She notes that money can often become a source of tension, leading to feelings of resentment and disappointment.

Solomon suggests couples openly discuss financial expectations and individual responsibilities to prevent misunderstandings. Establishing these boundaries not only fosters trust but also encourages healthier communication.

By addressing financial issues proactively, couples can create a more stable environment, reducing the likelihood of conflicts arising from financial dependency.

Here's what the Reddit community had to say.

Reddit u/GreekAmericanDom

"This will be an ongoing fight in your life."

Reddit u/ElectricHurricane321

Financial experts like Liz Weston warn against lending money to partners without clear terms. Weston highlights that doing so can blur the lines between love and financial obligation, often leading to emotional strain.

She advises couples to consider creating a joint budget or setting a limit on loan amounts to maintain clarity in their financial interactions. This approach allows both partners to feel secure without jeopardizing their relationship's integrity.

Furthermore, discussing financial goals openly can strengthen the partnership, aligning both individuals towards common objectives.

"They have payment plans."

Reddit u/classy-mother-pupper

"All he has to do is set up a payment plan."

Reddit u/Designer-Escape6264

"NTA."

Reddit u/BeginningBit6645

Long-Term Relationship Dynamics

A study conducted by Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, reveals that financial stress can significantly impact long-term relationship satisfaction. Fisher's research indicates that couples who manage money collaboratively report greater emotional intimacy and overall happiness.

She advises couples to engage in regular check-ins about their financial health and expectations. This practice not only mitigates potential conflicts but also fosters a sense of partnership.

In situations like the one described, open discussions about financial challenges can lead to creative solutions, such as budgeting together, that reinforce the relationship's foundation.

"Why are you still in this relationship?"

Reddit u/robynxcakes

"He's an adult."

Reddit u/batkinson35

At the end of the day, love shouldn’t come with a loan agreement.

This Redditor’s story is a reminder that setting financial boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s smart. If someone’s always asking but never giving, maybe it’s time to stop footing the bill and start asking the real questions.

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights a common struggle in relationships where financial boundaries become blurred. The boyfriend's repeated requests for money, despite his lack of follow-through on previous loans, might stem from a sense of entitlement or dependency, which can often lead to resentment from the partner who feels taken advantage of. It's crucial for individuals in such dynamics to recognize that setting boundaries isn't just about protecting one's finances; it's also about maintaining emotional health and ensuring the relationship remains balanced and respectful.

In navigating financial requests within a relationship, it's crucial to establish clear boundaries and open lines of communication. Experts across various fields, including Dr. Solomon and Liz Weston, emphasize that financial discussions should be proactive rather than reactive.

Creating a transparent environment allows couples to address issues before they escalate, reinforcing their bond while managing financial expectations. As relationships grow, understanding each other's financial habits can strengthen trust and intimacy, ultimately leading to a healthier partnership.