Lady Gets Tagged Traitor By Best Friend For Going Against Their "Promise" By Having Boyfriend

Female friendships, like any friendship, provide a secure space for women to confide in one another, laugh, cry, and simply be themselves without fear of condemnation or expectations. In the depths of a formerly impenetrable friendship, an apparently benign promise is revealed to be an unbreakable vow.

The OP and Rosie have been great friends since they were about ten years old. They are both introverts and were quite inseparable schoolmates from kindergarten to college.

They were both "no boyfriends since birth," and they wanted to keep it that way. Their college friends often referred to them as Virgin Marys, but they didn't care.

It was always the same sentiment for the OP and Rosie, as they didn't see themselves having men in their lives. Mind you, they were both straight females, but still, the idea of getting together with a man was not something they entertained.

Their friendship meant everything to them, and they never thought anything could damage it—not until the OP met Josh. They both entered into a relationship, and all this happened while Rosie was in a distant state for her employment.

Rosie's location had a poor signal, making it difficult for them to interact online. But then, the OP didn't expect the reactions she received from Rosie when she told her about her relationship.

The headline

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The talk about settling down and having a family is being brought up

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Exploring Friendship Dynamics

Dr. Anna Fields, a social psychologist at Columbia University, notes that friendships can often be tested by significant life changes, such as entering romantic relationships.

Her research suggests that friends may feel betrayed or threatened when one party changes the dynamics of the relationship.

This can lead to feelings of jealousy and resentment, particularly if promises made in friendship are perceived to be broken.

Rosie would always tag OP on FB posts about single women living together in a mansion

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She said the OP broke their promise about never getting a man

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I might be the a-hole because even though it was not a serious promise for me, I didn’t consider that it might be a serious one for my BFF. It resulted in her not speaking to me anymore. I don’t want to lose my best friend.

And the comments roll in...

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She might be an asexual

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Studies indicate that these feelings can stem from underlying insecurities, where individuals fear losing their friends' attention and validation.

When friendships are perceived as exclusive, it can lead to intense emotional responses, often resulting in conflict.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial to managing and preserving friendships during transitions.

Thinking they'd end up together

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The OP is mature and wanted more

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The OP left this in the comments

We have different courses in college, so we have separate friends as well. I do not think she’s a lesbian and has romantic feelings for me. I never really thought of this, and our relationship has always been sister-like.I just didn’t grasp that she was serious about that promise all this time. I plan to apologize and talk it out with her when she’s ready. I do not want to lose the friendship.

She will always have the OP

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She could be aromantic

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Managing Changes in Friendship Dynamics

To navigate these changes, experts recommend open dialogue about feelings and expectations.

Research shows that friends who communicate openly about their experiences and concerns are more likely to maintain their connections through transitions.

Establishing regular check-ins can foster mutual understanding and reduce feelings of abandonment or jealousy.

People do get BFs

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From someone who has never dated

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Additionally, reframing the narrative around friendship and romance can help mitigate feelings of betrayal.

Encouraging friends to view romantic relationships as additions to their lives rather than replacements can promote healthier perspectives.

Studies reveal that individuals who adopt this mindset often experience less conflict and greater satisfaction in both friendships and romantic relationships.

Psychological Analysis

The situation highlights how deeply intertwined friendships can become, especially when promises symbolize shared values and identities. The emotional reaction from Rosie likely stems from feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment, which can be common when one friend’s life choices disrupt the perceived stability of their bond. It's crucial for friendships to adapt through open communication to navigate these shifts and avoid misunderstandings that can lead to conflict.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating friendship dynamics during significant life changes requires sensitivity and communication.

According to Dr. Laura Berman, a renowned sex therapist, "Open communication is key to maintaining healthy relationships, especially when circumstances change." Engaging in open dialogues and reframing expectations can help maintain strong friendships amidst evolving relationships, as emphasized by Dr. Susan David, an emotional agility expert, who states, "Being adaptable in our relationships allows us to grow together rather than apart."

The message in this story is clear: friendship is a journey with no guaranteed destination. They are founded on trust, loyalty, and understanding, and when these qualities are present, they can weather even the most difficult situations.

However, when communication fails and expectations are not met, the journey becomes difficult and unclear. OP's story serves as a sad reminder that while friendships may fade or evolve, their impact endures.