Breaking Family Tradition: Ordering Catering for Thanksgiving - AITA?
"Struggling with Thanksgiving traditions: OP faces backlash for breaking family's long-held food customs – AITA for suggesting catering instead?"
A 28-year-old man tried to dodge a full Thanksgiving cooking marathon, and somehow it turned into a family-wide betrayal narrative. In his house, Thanksgiving is not just dinner, it’s a generations-old performance where the recipes matter as much as the people delivering them.
He just started a new job that eats his time, he barely has energy to breathe, let alone spend days in the kitchen. Meanwhile, his mom expects him to carry the whole feast, and his sister, the stay-at-home mom who usually helps with the food, is ready to keep things exactly the same. So when he suggests ordering catering a week before Thanksgiving, the backlash is immediate and brutal.
Now he’s stuck between keeping tradition and not burning out, and his family may already have decided he’s not welcome.
Original Post
I (28M) come from a family where Thanksgiving is a big deal. We always follow the same recipes that have been passed down for generations.
This year, I decided to break that tradition. So, I recently started a new job that's been super demanding.
I barely have time to breathe, let alone cook a big Thanksgiving meal. My family, however, was expecting me to carry on the tradition and prepare the whole feast.
For background, my sister (31F) is a stay-at-home mom who loves cooking. She's always been the one to help out with the food, but this year I just couldn't handle the pressure.
A week before Thanksgiving, I made the unpopular decision to suggest ordering catering instead of spending days in the kitchen. My reasoning was that it would relieve some stress and allow me to spend more quality time with my family.
Well, you can imagine their reaction. My mom called me selfish, saying I was disrespecting our family values.
My dad was disappointed, and my sister accused me of ruining the tradition. I explained that I needed a break this year, but they wouldn't budge.
They said if I went through with it, I wouldn't be welcome at our Thanksgiving dinner. So AITA?
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Right away, OP’s “catering” suggestion hits a nerve with mom, who calls it selfish and disrespectful to their family values.
It also echoes the dilemma in Choosing Love, where a partner’s cat allergy ultimatum forces a tough call.
As the week before Thanksgiving gets closer, OP’s dad shows disappointment, while OP’s sister frames the plan as ruining the tradition.
OP tries to explain he needs a break because his demanding new job leaves him with zero time to cook, but the family refuses to budge.
Then the ultimatum lands, if OP goes through with catering, he won’t be welcome at the Thanksgiving dinner.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.
The family dinner might end up happening without him, and OP has to decide if tradition is worth the fight.
For a darker “break the rules” moment, see what happened when roommates secretly rehomed a neglected cat.
