Teen Shares How Clashed With Her Roommates After Months Of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Living in a freshman dorm sometimes feels less like housing and more like being trapped in a group project where you didn’t pick your partners, don’t share the same goals, and somehow still get blamed for everything that goes wrong. That’s basically OP's situation.

She's a 19 year old living in a suite with four other girls who were randomly assigned at the start of the year. For the past several months, the OP has felt like she's the odd one out in a project run by people who appointed themselves managers.

One roommate keeps to herself and stays in her room, so she’s not part of the conflict. The other three, however, function as a tight clique and tend to make decisions collectively—usually without the OP, and usually about her.

Early on, one of them, Lauren, decided she was in charge of “maintaining standards” and tried to implement a chore chart, covering trash, vacuuming, laundry, and dishes. The problem is that the OP doesn’t use any of the shared things she’s trying to manage.

The OP made her boundaries clear from the beginning: they’re welcome to organize and clean however they like, but she's not participating in upkeep for things she doesn’t use. Since then, she has been labeled as someone who “doesn’t pull her weight.”

The OP overheard them complaining about her behind closed doors but had to do something after being confronted for allegedly ruining the aesthetic of their shared space.

The OP writes...

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The OP uses a laundry service

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They have been having problems

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OP's friend has control issues

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I confronted my roommate when I heard her sh*t talking me, so she went to the RA because she believes I’m being mean to her.

And the comments from other Redditors roll in...

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Helping out in common areas

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She's being a slob

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The OP's being ridiculous

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The OP left this somewhere in the comments section

My desk does not affect them. They have their own desks (which look stupid, but I don’t voice it because I’m polite, unlike them). Unfortunately, they’ll have to learn to live either way other people. Other people don’t have to do what you want. I don’t expect anything from them. Why would I ever take out their trash for them? I’m not their servant just because I was assigned to live with them. I already told them to leave me off their little chart because I’m not doing any of it. And I mention ethnicity because I’m pointing out they are a racist mean girl clique, and they think they can tell me what to do because they have the ethnic majority. But they can’t.

And the comments continues...

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The OP is already judging them

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Creating a chore chart

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Cooperation with roommates

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The situation didn’t end with a resolution, just a paper trail. What started as roommates trying to “organize” the suite has turned into meetings, explanations, and an RA quietly taking notes.

At this point, the OP has done her part by setting boundaries and documenting everything. Now it’s less about harmony and more about surviving the semester with her grade—and her sanity—intact.