Tensions Rise As Man Insists On Not Staying At His Inlaw's House Over Christmas

Christmas was supposed to be an easy, cozy week for OP and his wife, but one hotel request lit a fuse faster than anyone expected. In their family, the plan was simple: stay at dad’s house, play nice, get through the holidays, repeat next year.

Except dad is not “bad,” he’s just the kind of person who hates interruptions to his daily routine. He’s even told them in the past to get a hotel instead of staying, because he gets uncomfortable with disruptions. OP says staying at their place makes him feel unwelcome, while his wife wants the couple to just “suck it up” and be there together.

So when OP pushed back, the question on everyone’s mind became: is he being unreasonable, or is he finally asking for breathing room?

The OP writes

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The OP is asking if it's unreasonable to ask to stay at a hotel

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OP told his wife he wanted a hotel instead of staying at her parents’ house, and that one sentence immediately landed like an insult to her.</p>

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I told my wife I wanted to get a hotel instead of staying at her parents house for Christmas. It hurt her feelings and she thinks I’m a villain.

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It gets messier because her dad has already said before that they should book a hotel, not camp out in his space for the week.</p>

Also, this feels like the $35 tip drama, where the nail salon confrontation flipped the payment over.

OP also explained that when they stay there, it feels like he’s the one causing the interruptions, which makes him feel unwelcome instead of included.</p>

The OP left this edit later on to further clarify things...

My wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years. Her dad is NOT a bad guy, he just doesn't like interruptions to his day to day activities. He has told us in the past to get a hotel rather than stay at his house. He has come to visit us for a week and left early because he has some undiagnosed OCD and isn't comfortable with interruptions. It makes me feel uncomfortable and unwelcome when we stay at their house. My wife tells me I should suck it up and deal with it for a week because she wants to stay with them.

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Meanwhile, his wife is stuck on the “deal with it for one week” idea, even after OP points out how her dad handles his own routine.</p>

When it comes to dealing with in-laws, marriage can provide a number of difficulties. Whether it's invading personal space, offering unwanted advice, or meddling in marriage decisions, in-laws may struggle to respect boundaries.

Tension and arguments can arise when spouses and their families have different cultural backgrounds, customs, and values, particularly when it comes to significant life events like holidays, parenting styles, or religious convictions. Misunderstandings and unresolved disputes can be made worse by poor communication between spouses and their in-laws.

The OP says that he really does love his in-laws but he just wants to get a hotel so they can all have a break from each other. Redditors understood this and he was declared not the AH.

He might not be the villain, but that Christmas dinner plan is definitely not going to feel peaceful.

Before you label your Christmas request “villain behavior,” see what happened after someone took back a $35 tip.