Relationship Hits The Rocks After A Careful Saver Bluntly Refuses To Pay Off Fiancée’s College Debt
Years of discipline collide with someone else’s unpaid debt.
For most of his adult life, OP has been careful with money in a way that feels almost deliberate.
He started working at 16, earned close to minimum wage for years, and kept his lifestyle simple. No credit cards. No loans. No debt. It’s something he’s proud of, especially because it took consistency and restraint.
This past year changed things.
OP landed a much better job and finally started saving real money. For the first time, buying a house and leaving rent behind felt possible.
He’s been with his fiancée for two years. They met while working at a college, where she was a student. Because of financial issues in her family, she had to drop out before finishing her course. Her parents had been paying for her tuition at the time, and when payments stopped, debt was left behind.
They’ve been living together for a year now, and OP covers everything. Rent. Food. Daily expenses. Over time, he’s started to feel like her parents expect him to pick up anything related to her finances.
Her father has even asked why OP hasn’t paid for her to return to college, despite the fact that it would eat up more than half of his monthly income.
Recently, things escalated.
She received an email warning that her unpaid college debt could be sent to collections. When she called OP, she asked him directly to pay it. The amount would wipe out nearly half of everything he managed to save over the past year. OP said no.
Since then, she’s gone quiet, and OP is left wondering whether setting this boundary makes him selfish or realistic.
Scroll through the screenshots below to read the full story and responses.
Let’s dig into the details
Reddit.comA bit of backstory
Reddit.comSince OP and his girlfriend moved in together, he has been paying everything. However, his girlfriend’s dad asked him to put her back in college, which he said “no” to due to the cost
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Recently, she asked him to help pay off her debt, which he also refused to due to the fact that it’s 50% of his yearly savings
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Important edit
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We gathered some interesting comments the Reddit community
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“NTA, but also what did you expect dating a 21 year old at 28? you're at two different completely stages in life…”
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“Sorry i don’t care about any of the rest of this why the hell did you get with a 21 year old college student as a grown 28 year old?”
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“NTA, you don’t sound like a fiancée here; you sound like a sugar daddy.”
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“Red flag she is financially irresponsible and wants you to just bail her out.”
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“NTA - I mean I would certainly not pay off the debts of someone I wasn’t even married to.”
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“Do not pay off her debt, it is not your responsibility.”
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OP sees the debt as something created before him and tied to choices he didn’t make.
His fiancée is facing real consequences and feels cornered by a problem she can’t fix alone right now. Neither perspective exists in a vacuum, but money has a way of forcing clarity fast.
Sometimes love means support, and sometimes it means drawing lines to protect the future. What do you think OP should have done here? Share your thoughts in the comments.
