Young Couple Breakup After Mom Tells Her Daughter She Can't Use Her College Fund To Support Her Controlling Boyfriend's Dream
The mom is devastated that she caused her daughter's heartbreak
A college fund was supposed to make life easier for one high-achieving teen, but it ended up exposing a controlling boyfriend instead. When a 19-year-old named Sara told her mom she was giving up college because of Bryan, the situation went from worrying to alarming fast.
Sara had a full scholarship, a 4.0 GPA, and a dream school lined up, while her parents had also saved $250,000 for her future. But Bryan, who came from money and liked having things his way, pushed her to walk away from school and even tried to steer what she could do with her own money.
Her mom stepped in, and that decision set off a mess nobody in the family could ignore. Read on.
Bryan constantly puts Sara down and compares her to Instagram models.
When Sara told Bryan about her full scholarship, he was less than thrilled and told her not to go. He said she should just wait for him because he is not okay with her going to college out of state.
Bryan also said that Sara doesn't even have to worry about getting a job since his parents will support her financially. Prior to this, Bryan had discouraged Sara from pursuing marine biology, saying it's not even a real job.
Meanwhile, Bryan is enrolled in college, but he has no real plans for his future. He also told Sara that it makes him feel less like a man that she has a clear plan for her future while he has none.
OP thought things through but didn't say anything; she knew she wasn't going to let her daughter throw away her future. Then, Sara asked for her college fund, which she would now use to support Bryan's dreams.
The concerned mom mulled things over for a few days and finally had a serious talk with her daughter. She told her plainly that she can't use her college funds for Bryan's dreams.
Sara started to freak out, asking why not since it's her money anyway. OP pleaded with Sara to listen to her and asked if she saw a serious future with Bryan in it.
Her daughter said nothing and began to cry. OP repeated the question more gently. Sara continued crying but admitted that she couldn't see her future with Bryan.
With that answer, OP pleaded with Sara not to throw away her dreams for a person she couldn't see herself having a life with. Sara nodded and went to her bedroom.
Long story short, Sara broke up with Bryan, and he has been calling her non-stop, crying over the phone. OP feels guilty for causing it and now wonders if she's an a**hole.
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Below is OP's full story posted on Reddit:
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"What's the matter?"
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He told her not to go to college at all!
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That was the moment everything started to unravel.
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"She admitted no while still crying."
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Maybe Sara is not wise enough to handle a large sum of money...
dj_umbridge
... OP and her husband are sure that Sara is set for success
throwae_69
Good riddance
missteacher2
OP caught the red flag at the right time
goodwithsalt
Sara would have had to endure Bryan for years if OP hadn't stepped in
acltear00
Bryan's troubling behavior may have been going on for a while
TherulerT
Distance from Bryan is just the first of many steps
TherulerT
People in the comments were quick to pick a side.
It’s similar to the roommate who refused to pay rent after her boyfriend kept showing up.
Despite OP's guilt, she was not wrong for getting in the middle of her daughter's relationship
crzyferrlady
crzyferrlady
Parenting done right
mkittens_
OP admitted that she felt like an a**hole knowing how hurt Bryan was after hearing him cry, but after reading the comments, she feels justified that she was right to intervene
throwae_69
Children need structure, and OP approached the situation correctly
wind-river7
OP does not come off as the a**hole at all
SpookyArmadillo
Bryan wanted to control Sara, and by ruining her future, she would rely on him completely, just as he wanted
SpookyArmadillo
Cringe
Kettlewise
Ruin your future for me and also, give me your money. Sounds like a bully, to be honest.
Educational_Rock2695
Spot on
Ladybug1388
Indeed. If Sara is broke, jobless, and has no college to attend, Bryan can dictate what she can and can't do
FantasticDecisions
OP made her daughter realize how awful Bryan is. She didn't tell her; she showed her how he truly was, and Sara realized it herself.
yesboss2000
All those calls are not a good sign
No_Performance8733
Big, "I am the Alpha" energy, and it's off-putting
AlbatrossSenior7107
After all the attention and support OP received from fellow Redditors, she posted an update about Sara and Bryan's situation; FYI, cops were involved, so keep on reading:
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The older you get, the wiser you become, or so they say. When you're young and in love, you are bound to make a lot of stupid decisions.
Thankfully, parents like OP exist to guide you back to the right path. There is no man or woman important enough to throw away your dreams for.
You shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who actively derails your future just so they can feel better about themselves. Those people are the ones you cut out of your life. Bye, Bryan!
Before you decide, read how one partner judged the “loans to family” demand and said no to keep boundaries in this financial-boundary showdown.
