This Redditor Says Sharing Her Car With Her Husband Feels “Off,” And Now She’s Wondering If She’s Being Petty

Reddit user u/Parttime-SAHM and her husband keep their finances pretty neatly separated, with individual accounts for personal expenses and a shared account for joint costs. They split shared expenses 50–50, while each handles their own personal spending.

While her husband earns about $600 more per month, the OP has a company car that comes with a catch. Because she chose a model above the company’s base budget, around $1,000 a month comes straight out of her paycheck.

That decision was made before they even moved in together, and she fully owns the cost. Her husband, meanwhile, has his own car and pays far less each month to keep it running.

Whenever they go anywhere together, though, they always take her car. She usually drives too, since her husband doesn’t like driving, especially at night.

Here’s where things get tricky. The OP works from home, and her husband often asks to use her car for work or longer solo trips, like driving his child somewhere.

He argues that it doesn’t cost her anything extra if the car were otherwise just sitting there. While that’s technically true, it still doesn’t sit right with her.

What bothers her is that he benefits from a car she pays heavily for without contributing anything toward it. On top of that, when he has her car, she’s stuck driving his older, uncomfortable one.

He insists she’s free to use his car anytime, but to her, it doesn’t feel like an equal trade. She’s giving up something she pays dearly for and getting something she’d never choose in return.

Her husband doesn’t demand the car, but when she says no, he acts like she’s being petty. Now she’s wondering if she’s selfish—or just finally noticing an imbalance she can’t ignore anymore.

Her husband doesn’t demand the car, but when she says no, he acts like she’s being petty.

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Here’s the original post by Reddit user u/Parttime-SAHM.

Context: My husband (47m) and I (44f) both get our salaries paid into our own accounts and have a separate account for joint things, like household expenses, trips together, and so on. We contribute to that 50-50. We cover our own personal costs. My husband makes about $ 600 more a month than I do, I have a company car. However, the car I chose is above the company’s base budget (bc I work part-time I don't get the full budget), so I pay a significant amount out of my paycheck each month to drive it: about $1000 a month comes out of my salary for it, about ⅙ of my salary after taxes.This was a conscious choice I made before we moved in together & got married. My husband has his own car and pays for his fuel, insurance, etc. His monthly costs for his car are approximately half of mine. Note: whenever we go somewhere together, we always take my car and I drive 9/10 times because "he doesn't like driving, especially by night". **Now here’s the issue:** I usually work from home.My husband often asks to use my car eg. to drive to work or for longer solo trips, like driving his kid somewhere. Obviously, it saves him gas money. He says “It doesn’t cost you anything extra if I take it over it just sitting there.” He’s technically not wrong: it doesn’t cost me _more_. But it still feels off.What bothers me is that he benefits from a car that I pay a lot for, but he doesn’t contribute anything to those costs. I know these things are normal in marriage, you share benefits, but it really feels I'm the only one bringing such benefits into the marriage. And I know it's impossible to even things out equally, but this doesn't feel right. Also, it's a practical nuisance sometimes. When he has my car and I need to go somewhere during the day (eg. short errands), I have to take his car instead. And frankly, I hate driving it. It’s old and uncomfortable.He says I’m always free to take his if I need to, but it doesn’t feel like an even trade. I’m giving up a car I pay heavily for to drive one I wouldn’t ever choose for myself. He doesn't just take it or demands it, he asks for it. He doesn’t act entitled, but when I tell him no, he gets that look, like I’m being petty or selfish for not sharing. And this makes me doubt myself, so here I am. I’m not trying to nickel-and-dime him or be possessive, but it feels unfair that I pay a lot for a car I chose for myself and he gets to use it whenever it's convenient for him without contributing anything.I discussed this with a friend and she says I'm not being petty, what I'm feeling is an imbalance between what I give and what I get back. And while that does resonate with me, I can't help feeling guilty for not unconditionally giving. A little voice in my head says I should, because he's my husband, but I feel like I'm giving too much and he isn't giving enough.So, AITA for saying no when he asks to take my car?

Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.

External-Sympathy-47

What a waste of money.

Vuireen

Sounds like a scam.

Ok_Cress8566

That’s a lot of money for a car you don’t use.

CrazyOldBag

What a horrible financial decision.

dncrmom

ESH.

Deleted user

Is he even allowed to drive the car?

Zealousideal_Tip_147

That’s insane!

Excitedly_bored

If he has an accident, you could lose your job.

Dachsies_rule

Seems inappropriate.

UnkleJrue

It’s not your car.

thewineyourewith

YTA.

minja134

Good luck!

Disastrous_Moonlight

In the end, the Redditor isn’t questioning her marriage so much as the quiet math behind it. When sharing starts to feel one-sided, even small favors can turn into big questions about balance, boundaries, and what fairness really looks like between two people building a life together.