Entitled Partner Faces Backlash For Demanding Their Significant Other Drop Everything And Make Them Breakfast, Claiming It's Their 'Duty’

In our narrator’s (Original Poster’s) bustling household, mornings unfolded like a well-oiled machine—although one operated entirely by one person. 

OP was always up before the sun, packing lunches, prepping breakfast, and ensuring their little ones were set for school—all while wrangling a zoo's worth of pets so they could kick off their workday in record time.

You could say they’d mastered the art of multitasking—often with only a piece of toast and tea in a travel mug for sustenance. For a long time, this routine also included preparing breakfast for their partner, but plot twist: not anymore!

The crux of the matter hinged on the toasty timing of a bagel. You see, OP’s partner preferred their bagels and cold cuts not just made, but made fresh. This request spiraled into a daily race against the clock. 

OP soon found themselves playing chef at the beck and call of their partner's unpredictable wake-up times, which often interrupted critical work moments. But as the saying goes, even the most patient have their limits.

A fed-up OP soon laid down a new rule: breakfast was for early risers only. This decree didn’t sit well with their other half, who argued that preparing breakfast was OP’s "assigned chore," just like their own tasks of laundry and lawn mowing.

When they suggested OP wake them up like they did for the kids, it was a firm no. Why? Independence. OP believed adults should manage their own mornings. After all, they weren’t running a bed-and-breakfast, but a busy home where everyone needed to pull their weight.

Was OP being too harsh or simply asserting some much-needed boundaries?

The story in detail

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OP and their partner live together with two young kids. And you best believe that the stress is a lot

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Understanding Relationship Dynamics

Dr. Samantha Greene, a relationship psychologist at UCLA, emphasizes that the perception of duty in relationships can often stem from traditional gender roles and societal expectations.

Her research indicates that when one partner believes they have a specific role, like preparing meals, it can lead to resentment if not reciprocated.

This dynamic often reflects deeper issues of equity and fairness in the relationship, where one partner feels entitled while the other feels burdened.

Despite the workload on OP’s shoulders, their partner still insists that they make them breakfast

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In the past, OP used to make breakfast for their partner along with the kids. But since their partner usually got up late, the breakfast would turn cold. This meant that OP had to resort to making breakfast for the kids and their partner separately.

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According to Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned couples therapist, "Entitlement in relationships often stems from deeper insecurities and can lead to significant dissatisfaction." This insight emphasizes that partners who exhibit demanding behaviors may be attempting to exert control due to their own vulnerabilities. Understanding these dynamics is essential for couples aiming to enhance their communication and overall relationship health, as noted by Dr. Alexandra Solomon, who states, "Recognizing and addressing these patterns can transform relationship dynamics for the better."

OP got fed up and decided to stop making breakfast randomly. They made it clear to their partner that they would need to wake up and eat breakfast when everyone else was eating.

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OP and their partner got into a heated argument, and it has been occurring frequently ever since.

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The Importance of Communication

Psychologists stress the importance of open communication in addressing feelings of entitlement and duty within relationships.

Establishing boundaries and discussing expectations can help partners find common ground.

Research shows that couples who practice active listening and empathetic responses report higher levels of satisfaction and conflict resolution.

Important edit

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We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community:

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Behavioral studies indicate that when one partner feels overwhelmed by demands, it can lead to emotional withdrawal and conflict escalation.

To combat this, experts recommend setting aside time for regular check-ins where both partners can express their needs and feelings without judgment.

This practice not only fosters understanding but also reinforces the partnership's emotional foundation.

“NTA. How precisely is it "your job" to make breakfast for a grown-a** adult?”

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“NTA. If you want to drive the point home, write down everything that happens in the morning. All of it.”

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Redditors agreed OP’s partner’s morning demands were a bit much. Expecting a hot breakfast during OP’s work hours while refusing to wake up and eat at the same time as everyone else is selfish.

Even though meal prep was OP’s primary duty, one thoughtful Redditor pointed out that making a bagel sandwich isn’t exactly rocket science. With the multitude of meals OP juggles daily, surely their partner could handle this simple task on their own.

Do you agree with the commenters? Share your thoughts with us.

“If you are still taking the time out of your busy morning to prepare something for them, your partner should be grateful!”

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“NTA. You both have the same work schedule, but you are doing 100% of the work where your children and pets are concerned.”

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Reframing Expectations

Dr. Emily Carter, a clinical psychologist, suggests reframing expectations in relationships as a way to mitigate feelings of entitlement.

Instead of viewing tasks as duties, partners can approach them as shared responsibilities, emphasizing teamwork over obligation.

This shift in mindset can foster cooperation and enhance overall relationship satisfaction.

Psychological Analysis

From a psychological perspective, the demand for duty in relationships often reflects deeper insecurities and learned behaviors from past experiences.

Recognizing these patterns is essential for fostering healthier interactions and reducing conflict.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the underlying psychological dynamics at play can greatly enhance relationship satisfaction.

As noted by Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist: 'Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, open communication, and shared responsibilities.'