Cutting Ties - Confrontation With Stepdad Leads To Tough Decision

In a chilling recount of a holiday turned nightmare, a Reddit user shares a harrowing experience of being physically assaulted by her stepfather on Christmas Eve. The evening started joyously with wine and seafood pasta, but spiraled into chaos when a dog accident led to a heated argument escalating into violence.

Despite the user's attempts to de-escalate, the stepfather's aggression towards her and her dogs turned physical, leaving her bruised and traumatized. The user details the shocking assault, recounting how her stepfather physically attacked her, leaving her with injuries, while her mother, initially apologetic, later sided with her husband.

The user expresses the heartbreaking decision to cut ties with her family following the incident, struggling with the betrayal and confusion over her mother's actions. The situation prompts a wave of support and advice from Reddit users, urging the user to prioritize her safety and well-being by seeking legal action and maintaining distance from her abusive family members.

The thread overflows with empathy and outrage towards the user's ordeal, with many offering solidarity, legal advice, and words of encouragement. The community rallies behind the user, applauding her courage in standing up against abuse and emphasizing the importance of prioritizing personal safety and well-being above toxic family dynamics.

The overwhelming support and validation from fellow Redditors reflect a collective stance against domestic violence and a call for justice and self-preservation in the face of adversity.

Original Post

I (26F) went home for Christmas with my two dogs (relevant). Background info: My mom and step dad live about 3 hours from me and we do family Christmas on New Year’s Eve, so I drove there on Christmas Eve, hoping to get to spend some extra time with my mom.

For the post, let’s call my step dad Chris. One of my dogs was recently adopted and had yet to be at their house, let’s call my dog Mr.

Man. So I get to my parent’s house and everything is great, I had some wine and we made seafood pasta and we were all having a great time.

About 6 hours into the evening, one of their dogs (they also have 2 dogs) peed in the house. I know it was not my dogs because I followed Mr.

Man EVERYWHERE, to make sure he didn’t pee or get into something he shouldn’t. My other dog is an ex-hospice dog and she is absolutely perfect, she doesn’t even beg and she grew up there so I wasn’t worried about her.

Anyway, a dog pees and Chris finds it and immediately gets irate and starts yelling at my mom about “her dogs”. Obviously I didn’t want to involve myself with this argument but at one point he started name calling so I said “it’s not a huge deal, Chris” and he responded “f**k you” so I decided to butt out of this argument.

My step dad then decides he’s not cleaning it so he sits down next to us and starts bitching. Had he asked me to clean it, I would have.

Maybe would have been annoyed but not a huge deal. It wasn’t like it was on carpet or anything, just the hard floor.

He gets up and storms to the kitchen cursing at us, so my mom decides to go outside and smoke a cigarette and I go with her because I hadn’t seen her in a while. Before we make it outside he had started telling me how it’s my fault and all, which I calmly responded that I swear my dogs didn’t pee in the house but that I would have cleaned it up.

Shockingly, he responded by telling me he would “s******e my dogs”…my dogs who had been so good at his house… he even loved Mr. Man and kept sneaking him snacks.

I am 5’7 and I don’t tolerate blatant disrespect well… or at all. So I responded that if he touched my dogs I would punch him in the throat.

Not a nice thing to say, thats for sure. But he flew off the handle and threatened me saying “I will f*ck you up”.

This guy is 6’2 and at least 250lbs. I am 5’7 and about 160lbs.

I didn’t expect him to put his hands on me about dog pee so I said “go ahead then” and he DID. He rushed me and put me in a headlock facing him and I was scared so I started hitting him on the arm with a dog bone I had in my hand.

Then he shoved his THUMB into my MOUTH and pushed on the back of my teeth/my jaw. I obviously bit him and when I got free I hit him with the mop stick and he grabbed my hair, pulled me to the floor, smacked my head on the marble floors, and then put my head between his calves and squeezed.

All while my feet are on the floor. My mom was screaming at him to stop, and tried to take a video but she was drunk and ended up taking a Live Photo.

I got free and ran outside when he started saying if I called the cops I would go to jail too. My mom was begging me not to call the cops, and I’m assuming just wanted to save her marriage (idk why this isn’t even the first time he’s acted insane).

I ended up staying until 5 am and driving immediately back home. My mom gave me all my Christmas presents, kept apologizing and slept in the bed with me saying “Chris is an a*****e”.

By the time i got home my lip was swollen and bruised and my jaw hurt. Over Christmas Day, my mom did a total 180°.

She went from saying that he put his hands on me first, to saying that he rushed me and I started hitting him and that “he was just defending himself”. She said that he was being “a wall” and when i tried to tell her how hard it would be to put another adults hand into my mouth to bite it, she said “your mouth was open during the fight so you could have”.

she started believing her husband who is obviously lying to cover his ass, and saying that I was “disrespectful” after he threatened to m****r my dogs. I’m not sure how I became the aggressor in all of this.

She stayed with him and his family for new years, and now his birthday. Basically I have cut that whole side of my family off after this, but I’m having a hard time feeling like I’m going insane.

I was really close to my mom, and I’m just feeling pretty shitty. My step dad has lost his cool plenty of times before, but I really didn’t expect this to escalate.

https://imgur.com/a/iEmY3Qv Edit: I will be making a report. edit 2: I need everyone to know he doesn’t hit my mom.

I know this for SURE. She is a lady that has never hesitated to change in front of me and I have been her confidant for YEARS.

They are both big drinkers and text me incoherent s**t all the time. this man HATES me and always has, he has done terrible things to me and my mom has always allowed it orexcused it.

I am basically the source of their fights. He abuses her verbally, which is still terrible because he has the emotional intelligence of a carrot.

He will call her selfish and a b***h but that’s about it. But I can confirm he does not hit her at all.

She has people to run to and places to contact. I will not be keeping contact with her

The Complexities of Family Loyalty and Self-Preservation

Conflict in family relationships often arises from the tension between loyalty and self-preservation. A study published in the Family Relations Journal indicates that individuals may experience guilt when prioritizing their well-being over familial obligations.

Understanding this conflict can illuminate the emotional turmoil faced by individuals in challenging family situations.

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According to trauma experts, traumatic experiences can significantly alter family dynamics and perceptions. Dr. Judith Herman's work highlights how trauma survivors often grapple with conflicting feelings of love and fear within their families.

These conflicting emotions can lead to complex decisions regarding maintaining or severing ties with family members.

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Recognizing Signs of Toxic Relationships

Identifying toxic relationships is crucial for self-preservation and mental health. Research suggests that individuals in toxic environments often experience heightened anxiety and depression.

Learning to recognize signs of emotional abuse, such as manipulation and coercion, is essential for individuals seeking to protect their mental well-being.

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In situations of familial conflict, seeking external support can be beneficial. Studies show that therapy can provide a safe space for individuals to explore their feelings and make informed decisions about their relationships.

Engaging with a mental health professional can facilitate the healing process and empower individuals to set healthy boundaries.

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What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

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Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the difficult choices individuals face when balancing family loyalty with their own mental health. Recognizing the signs of toxic relationships is crucial for self-preservation.

Engaging in open dialogue with trusted individuals or professionals can provide valuable perspective and support during these challenging times.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, navigating the complexities of family loyalty and self-preservation can be an emotionally challenging journey. Research consistently highlights the importance of recognizing toxic dynamics and prioritizing mental health.

By fostering self-awareness and seeking support, individuals can make empowered decisions about their familial relationships, ultimately promoting emotional well-being.