Debating Tipping Norms: Am I Wrong for Not Tipping More?

Some couples fight about politics, some fight about chores, and this one Reddit thread turned into a full-on tipping standoff in Toronto.

The original poster says they always tip their waiters 10%, around $3, or the higher amount, and they point out that servers there make $12 an hour while the provincial minimum wage is $15. Their girlfriend, though, keeps calling them a cheapskate and quietly adds more, pushing the tip to 20% because she says she feels embarrassed.

So the question is not just money, it is whether her extra tipping is fixing something or creating a new problem.

Original Post

I live in Toronto, Canada. Waiters here make $12.00 compared to the provincial minimum wage of $15.00.

I always tip my waiters 10% or about $3.00, whichever is higher. My girlfriend keeps calling me a cheapskate even when I told her that servers only need to make $3.00/hr in tips to make minimum wage.

She keeps adding on my tip and makes it 20% whenever we go out because she feels “embarrassed” because of me.

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This reminds me of the “solo caregiver” versus distant sibling dispute over sharing an elderly dad’s care.

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The OP’s whole argument starts with the math, $12 an hour versus $15 minimum, and the claim that tips can bridge the gap to minimum wage.

Then the girlfriend steps in during every dinner, not just judging the tip but adjusting it herself, going from 10% to 20% like it is a status issue.

The comments section gets spicy too, because multiple users have to weigh the OP’s “I tip what I think is fair” logic against the girlfriend’s “I can’t be seen doing that” energy.

By the time you see all the different takes, you realize the real fight is between the OP wanting consistency and the girlfriend wanting reassurance every time they sit down to eat.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

He might not be wrong about the tip, but he and his girlfriend are definitely wrong about how to handle it.

Wait, you might also like the AITA fight over a sibling demanding an equal split of parents care expenses.