Debt Forgiveness: Generous Holiday Gifts or Cop Out Move?

It started with a simple loan, and it’s turning into a holiday stress test nobody asked for. OP says they lent a few close friends and family members money, and while they’re not worried about getting it back eventually, the timeline matters, especially when the total is close to a grand.

Now the holiday season is here, and OP is thinking about giving each person something small with a card that basically says, “I’ll forget about what you owe me.” Their friend thinks that’s a cop out, but OP argues it’s only a couple hundred dollars and they’d keep it private, not turning it into a public announcement.

It’s a “gift” on one side, and a “cover-your-strings” move on the other, and the family dinner energy is already brewing.

Original Post

Posting this on an alt account, on mobile, you know the spiel Basically I lent a few people money that are either close friends or family members. It's been some time and I have no doubt I'll receive it all back, it's just a matter of when The amount I'm out in total is close to a grand.

I'm not starving over this, but I have financial goals like everyone else. I don't let my money just disappear like that, so I fully expect all of it back.

Especially with the holiday season coming up, that money would fit really nicely in my gift budget WIBTA if I gave something small with a card saying I'll forget about X amount of money they owe me? My friend says this would be a cop out.

In my eyes, this is completely fair, I'm basically just giving them a couple hundred dollars. That would be way more than I'm giving to anyone else.

And I wouldn't be an a*****e about it announcing it to everyone, just writing it in a card that they can choose to read aloud or not What do you guys think? WIBTA?

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Debt or wedding drama, it’s the same kind of family fracture as the cousin who excluded their same-sex partner.

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OP is already planning to treat the money like a gift budget problem, not a friendship-ending issue, which is why this feels so tempting.

The complication is that OP’s friend calls the idea a cop out, even though OP insists they’re basically wiping out a portion of what’s owed.

And because OP wants to write it in a card, the whole question becomes whether it’s thoughtful or awkward when the recipient reads it at home.

The real tension is between OP’s “I’ll forget about X amount” promise and the fact that multiple friends and family are involved, so one bad reaction could spread fast.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

If OP handles this like a gift, it might still land like a receipt.

Holiday debts aside, see why she skipped her sister’s gender reveal after nonstop parenting criticism, read this AITA.