Student Says They Would Rather Be In Debt Than Accept The Help Of Their Manipulative Father, A Fact That Embarrassed The Dad During Family Dinner

It's no secret that tuition fees, especially for colleges and universities, are expensive. Students who are not yet adults are sometimes forced to take out student loans just to afford higher education.

As a result, these student loans bury students in debt years after they've already graduated. It's not a great deal at all, but for some, this is quite literally their only option if they want to pursue their studies.

A college student shared their situation in a Reddit post, but there's a twist to it. OP (original poster) has a dad who was willing to pay for their tuition.

His very generous offer was a poisoned fruit, and OP knew it. The dad had conditions if he were to pay for OP's college tuition: OP can't have any grades below a B, the dad has to pre-approve any classes OP will take, and there are weekly meetings to discuss OP's grades, among other things.

OP would have taken the offer if their dad were a "regular" dad, but theirs is far from "normal." The dad had temper issues, which have affected OP's studies before.

They spent 6th to 12th grade stressed out due to their father's obsession with grades and the fear of getting yelled at if OP couldn't live up to his expectations. The dad also randomly searched OP's locker and bag just to make sure OP wasn't hiding anything.

Due to this type of history, OP decided to pay for their tuition for two reasons.

First, OP didn't want the added stress of being screamed at at any moment. Second, it's not worth it to constantly worry about whether or not the dad will stop paying for school if he doesn't approve of OP's class or grade, which is a likely scenario.

OP said they would rather be in debt than be controlled by their father for four more years. The good news is that OP just finished their first year.

Here's where the issue came to a head: OP's family recently had a get-together. OP's aunt and uncle, who were paying for their child's college tuition fee, were there.

OP admits that they can be a bit nosy, so naturally, the topic moved to college payments. OP's uncle looked at OP's dad and asked, "Well, how much is OP's school costing you?"

OP quickly replied, "What are you asking him for? I'm the one paying for it." Predictably, OP's dad was angry about this and said OP embarrassed him.

OP said they didn't do it to embarrass him and were simply being honest. On top of that, the dad had no idea how much OP's tuition is, so he's obviously the wrong person to ask.

yeasothat

Do you think OP was an a**hole for being honest? Read the original post below for more information:

yeasothat yeasothat

"I decided to pay for school myself."

yeasothat yeasothat

"I embarrassed him."

yeasothat

If he was embarrassed by a fact, then father dearest has some introspection to do.

sirnay

Couldn't have phrased it any better.

darling_lycosidae

Will asking this provide some clarity?

des1gnbot

He probably bragged about it, but when OP popped the bubble, his ego was badly hurt.

pineconedance

Good thing OP put a stop to it early on.

Trashmanjoe

The dad will definitely take credit for OP's eventual success.

joshul

If you have to lie to make yourself look good, then you're just an awful person, aren't you?

Here_for_tea_

A grown man asking his child to lie for him to protect his reputation is just laughable.

bmoreskyandsea

Dealing with the devil is not worth it.

skydiamond01

He has every reason to be embarrassed.

rich-tma

People know that they did nothing wrong, but due to being manipulated by the real a**hole for years, their perception is skewed; therefore, they need assurance they did nothing wrong.

hyperRed13

OP was offered a life raft but chose to float alone because the dad is that messed up.

SoLongSidekick

Imagine being the biggest obstacle in your own child's life.

mimoo47, yeasothat

Student loans are evil, but it's better than dealing with a jerk of a father.

Devegas49

Good thing OP has another parent to support them.

yeasothat

He would have kept asking for more things if OP had agreed to the original deal.

tequilitas

OP made the right choice.

yeasothat

Was he projecting his own insecurities onto OP?

JudgeJed100

How many toxic behaviors are in this one scenario alone?

yeasothat

Brutal! Let him dig his own grave, but what OP did was pretty cool as well.

Saint_Thomas_More

OP didn't want him to get any credit for OP's hard work and determination.

yeasothat

In another comment, OP said they barely see each other, and the dad does sound narcissistic...

Bash_is_my_copilot

... and here's his credo.

TLEToyu

OP behaved like a boss for putting a stop to the dad's self-serving actions. He wanted to maintain the facade of being the provider for OP, but OP broke that when he refused the deal.

Had OP accepted it, the dad would have sunk his claws even deeper, and OP would have had a harder time being free from the manipulations. Things can only get better for OP from here on out, and the dad can do nothing about it.