“You’re a Tenant Now”: Mom’s Sudden Rule Change Leaves This College Student Frustrated

Some people don’t recognize a favor, and this college kid just found out that “support” can come with surprise fine print. His mom promised to cover tuition, housing, food, and books as long as he kept a B average, and at first, he did exactly that, earning A’s and staying on track.

But the deal kept shrinking semester by semester. After his first term, she cut books and food, even though he was crushing classes. Later, when he got promoted and worked 40 hours a week, she suddenly demanded only 4 hours of work or 4 hours of chores, complete with an Excel tracker, then partially paid him and still owed him $1,000.

Now he’s dealing with missing tracker entries and a mom who keeps changing the rules, and the frustration is boiling over fast.

Before starting college, the OP’s mom promised to cover tuition, housing, food, and books—as long as he maintained a B average.

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Original Post

Before I (20M) entered college, my mother (52F) set the stage that if I went to a state college, that she would cover tuition, housing, books and food, as long as I kept my grades over a 3.0 / B average. My mother's side of the family is very academic, and so this seemed to be "carrying the favor along" as that is what my grandparents did for her. With that being said, I'm pretty shy so I opted to stay at home and commute. As far as transport goes, I am responsible for diagnosing / fixing my car, along with paying for gas and insurance.

Every summer, I work full time for 8 weeks as a summer camp counselor. I've been careful with my money ie investing and budgeting. In my first semester of college, I went to a CC and I started working part time. My grades were all A's, and then my mom told me she wouldn't be covering books or food anymore. During my second semester of college, I was promoted to manager, and I ended up working 40 hour weeks, this was too much, so I quit as I really value my education more. I really feel that this experience turned me off as far as working during school goes, as it distracted me from my studies. The other two semesters at the CC went fine, and I graduated with honors. Again, I worked full time at the summer camp. Fast forward to my last semester (junior year at the local state university), she told me that I needed to start working 4 hours a week, or do 4 hours of chores a week (the idea is based on the fact that she worked 4 hours a week as a babysitter in college).I believe that this is fair, so I opted to do chores. She set up an excel file where I submit everything I do and how long it takes. She only partially paid for this semester, and she still owes me $1,000. So now, during this current semester, it's only gotten worse. She has been deleting entries into the work tracker. She also stopped giving me enough opportunities to meet her "4 hours", and I told her that it's impossible to meet her requirements, so in response she told me that I need to get a part time job or I need to pay her $200 a month for rent. I told my mom that it's basically impossible to get a job for 4 hours a week, but she doesn't care. She doesn't need the money, and she's only doing it to be hard on me. I only make about $4,000 a year, so $2,400 a year is a lot. I also pay her $1,400 a year for car insurance alone. I have a bit of savings from investing and prior work, so I'm overall OK, but I have found this to be really demeaning. She's also been calling me a "tenant" and telling me that I'm on "tenant status". Last month, she told me that I could do $100 a month, but that lasted 3 weeks, and two days ago she came and demanded $200 from me. All of the "rules" that she makes are wishy washy and she can't stay consistent, she's even still been expecting me to do chores along with paying her. I've paid her rent at least 3x. The rest of my family is nice to me.AITAH because I don't want to work part time in college?

Let's see how the Reddit community reacted.

ashmaht

NTA.

GalacticPillow231

Sounds like your mom wants you out.

Swirlyflurry

You could easily do Uber or Doordash.

Comfortable-Rip-2549

This is not what you agreed to.

Odd-Smile3013

She could make you get out and pay for it all yourself.

InsuranceUnable5758

This feels like the same kind of pressure as a family dilemma over a brother dropping out of college to pursue stand-up comedy.

What is this really about?

procrastinatorgirl

She wants you to move out.

feetflatontheground

She will regret this in a few years.

Daemonxar

She's trying to push you out.

Thatonecrazywolf

Time to make a hasty exit.

Pladohs_Ghost

If you don't like it, move out.

Human-Musician-8363

ESH.

angelerulastiel

YTA.

Happily-single

He started out with A-level grades and a commute, but the moment his mom saw that he was doing well, she quietly cut books and food after the first semester.

When he pushed through 40-hour weeks as a manager, she flipped the script again, turning “help with college” into “4 hours a week, either work or chores.”

The Excel work tracker was supposed to keep things fair, but deleting entries and partial payments made it feel like he was submitting proof to someone who was rewriting the math.

With his mom still owing $1,000 and the current semester getting worse, OP is stuck wondering if he’s not just a student anymore, he’s a tenant in his own life.

At the end of the day, the OP isn’t questioning responsibility—he’s questioning consistency. And when the rules keep changing, it’s no surprise he’s left wondering if this was ever really about helping him succeed in the first place.

He might be the one doing all the chores, but it sure sounds like his mom is the one getting the rent-free deal.

Before you take sides, read how one Redditor handled their partner’s toxic family dynamics during a confrontation: Should I Address My Partners Toxic Family Dynamics?.