Deciding Not to Tell Best Friend About Labor Due to Insensitivity: A Moral Dilemma

Emily has been OP’s best friend since high school, the kind of person you assume will always show up no matter what. So when OP’s pregnancy started getting dismissed, it didn’t feel like a small mood shift, it felt like someone turning down the volume on her whole reality. “Wait till the baby comes,” “stop complaining,” like contractions are a personality flaw.

Then labor hits unexpectedly, and OP is rushed to the hospital, flooded with fear, excitement, and that raw, vulnerable moment where you just want the right people close. Her husband is there, but Emily is not. OP doesn’t tell her, because a part of her figures Emily has been treating her like pregnancy is no big deal, so why should she get the front-row seat?

Now OP is sitting in the aftermath of a beautiful baby girl, wondering if silence during labor was an act of protection or an unforgivable move.

Original Post

So I'm a 30-year-old woman, and my best friend, let's call her Emily, is someone I've known since high school. Emily and I have always been there for each other, through thick and thin.

We supported each other through breakups, job changes, and all the ups and downs that life throws at you. For background, Emily has always been a bit self-absorbed, but I've never really held it against her because she's a good friend when it truly counts.

However, since I got pregnant, her attitude has taken a turn for the worse. She constantly belittles my pregnancy symptoms, saying things like, 'You think it's hard now?

Wait till the baby comes!' or 'Pregnancy is not an illness, stop complaining.' It's been really hurtful, and I've tried to brush it off, but it's starting to wear me down. Fast forward to last week when I went into labor unexpectedly.

I was rushed to the hospital, and it was a whirlwind of emotions. My husband was by my side, and I felt incredibly vulnerable yet excited about meeting our baby.

Throughout this intense experience, I realized I hadn't informed Emily. With every contraction, I thought about how she would react, but part of me felt like she didn't deserve to know after her dismissive attitude towards my pregnancy.

I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and amidst all the joy and chaos, I still hadn't contacted Emily. My husband and I agreed that we would tell her in our own time, but now I'm having doubts.

Would I be the a*****e for not sharing this significant moment with her because of how she treated me during my pregnancy?

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This gets messy like the story where a jealous best friend’s fertility pain clashed with pregnancy secrecy.

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All those comments about her symptoms suddenly feel a lot heavier the moment OP is stuck in the hospital with contractions and no Emily on the phone.

The husband by her side makes it even clearer how different the support feels, especially compared to Emily’s constant “it’s not that bad” energy.

After giving birth, OP still doesn’t message Emily, and the silence stretches from the delivery room into the first moments of bringing their baby home.

Now OP and her husband are debating when to tell Emily, and the real question is whether Emily’s past behavior makes this delay justified or cruel.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.

OP might be trying to dodge Emily’s insensitivity, but the silence could backfire fast once Emily finally hears about the baby.

Still wondering if you should tell Emily about her husband’s hit-on-you secret, read this AITA about hiding her husband’s advances.