Man Refuses To Give Back Engagement Ring To His Ex-Fiancee, Seeks To Know If It's The Right Move

It can be challenging to handle the fallout after a broken engagement. Regardless of the cause, ending a relationship is never easy.

A common problem following a split is that couples can't seem to agree on who should receive the engagement ring, which only serves to exacerbate the situation. Even though basic manners support the giver, there may be a personal bias that gets in the way.

If there isn't a consensus among the parties, law-enforced regulations can decide what should happen. Nevertheless, each state and situation may have different rules, so they are not universal. 

After a breakup, there are many things you can do with the ring. For example, you could put it in a drawer and forget about it for a few years, or you could (we're kidding) shatter it to bits.

Many people simply wish to part with the ring because they see it as a symbol of a broken romance. Many decide to sell their ring and put the money toward something joyful.

The latter is what the OP intended to do with the engagement ring. OP's ex-fiancée, who is five years older than he is, unblocked him on Instagram and asked him if she could have 'her' ring back.

The OP told her that she could not have the ring as he was planning on selling it. She then told him that since he was the one who broke up with her and he was "rich," she just needed it more than he did. 

The headline

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The OP's not rich, and neither are his parents, but they are far from poor

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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

My fiancée wanted 'her' ring back, and I offered to share the profits from selling it with her. However, she didn't like that offer and insisted that I didn't need it. I felt uncomfortable with her insistence, so I decided to block her. Now, I'm wondering if it would be wrong for me to sell the ring and not give her half of the profit.

And the comments roll in...

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She wants to be petty

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Understanding Emotional Attachments

Refusing to return an engagement ring can evoke strong emotional responses and ethical dilemmas. According to Dr. William Doherty, a family therapist, "The emotional attachment to symbols like engagement rings can create complex feelings during breakups." Understanding these emotional attachments is crucial for navigating post-breakup interactions. As Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a happiness researcher, notes, "Recognizing the emotional significance of possessions can help individuals make more informed decisions about what to do with them." This insight can guide individuals in processing their feelings and determining the best course of action regarding such possessions.

She gave back the ring

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Looking into state laws

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When relationships end, individuals often grapple with feelings of loss and entitlement, particularly regarding shared possessions. A behavioral economist notes that cognitive biases can influence decisions about what to keep or return after a breakup. This can lead to emotional turmoil if one partner feels they have a right to particular items.

To navigate these complexities, individuals should reflect on their motivations behind wanting to keep or return items like an engagement ring, weighing the emotional implications against practical considerations.

A conditional gift

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Costs of the wedding

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The OP reveals why he broke up with his fiancée

She wanted me to kick my friend out of my house when he had nowhere else to go. I honestly didn't even end it. She said it was him or her, and I told her that I wasn't going to kick him out, and if she wasn't fine with it, she was welcome to leave, and she chose to leave. He had nowhere else to go, and I wasn't going to make him homeless.

It was not an heirloom

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No rights of ownership

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The Role of Closure in Moving On

Closure is a vital aspect of healing after a breakup, especially when it comes to shared possessions. As Dr. Dan Gilbert, a happiness researcher, states, "Finding closure allows individuals to move forward without the weight of unresolved issues." Engaging in open conversations about items like engagement rings can facilitate this process. Encouraging discussions about closure can help both parties understand each other's perspectives and foster healthier emotional outcomes. This process is essential for personal growth and future relationship success, as highlighted by Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, who emphasizes, "Healthy communication about shared items can lead to a more amicable separation."

Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights the emotional complexities surrounding possessions after a breakup. It's common to feel a strong attachment to items that symbolize past relationships. Engaging in open discussions about these feelings can help facilitate closure and promote healthier emotional outcomes.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Navigating the aftermath of a breakup often involves complex emotional decisions about shared possessions. Research underscores the significance of emotional attachments tied to items like engagement rings. By fostering open communication and self-reflection, individuals can make informed decisions that align with their emotional needs and facilitate healing.

The OP is trying to stay hopeful as he's sure somebody is going to buy the ring, and he will get his money back. OP says, "If nobody is going to offer me the same amount, then I'm going to keep the ring and maybe give it to my parents or my nephew."

Apparently, his nephew likes jewelry, but the OP is not sure if that will be a good gift for him. Drop your thoughts about this story in the comments section below.

Navigating the emotional landscape after a breakup can be challenging, particularly when dealing with shared items. A clinical psychologist explains that it’s common for individuals to experience a sense of loss related to possessions tied to their past relationships. This sense of loss can trigger feelings of regret and nostalgia that complicate decisions about what to keep or return.

To manage these feelings, individuals should engage in self-reflection and consider what each item represents to them. This awareness can aid in making decisions that align with their emotional well-being.

Making Decisions About Symbolic Items

Deciding what to do with symbolic items like engagement rings can be fraught with emotional complexity. Research indicates that individuals often struggle with feelings of attachment and loss when faced with these decisions. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that the emotional significance of such items can cloud judgment and lead to conflict.

Individuals are encouraged to seek clarity around their feelings towards these items, perhaps discussing their thoughts with trusted friends or a therapist to gain perspective.