Successful Female Engineer Demands $100k From Her Sexist Parents As An Apology For Telling Her She's Not Allowed To Go To College Because She's A Woman

Parents tend to plan out their kids’ lives even before they’re born. Most times, it ties into societal pressures and expectations.

You tend to forget to add what you want to achieve in all of those plans, but not a Redditor who posted in r/AITA. She followed what she wanted to do, even if the last step in her plan was asking her parents to pay her tuition back before she forgives them.

OP came from a family that was very strict when it came to gender roles. In their culture and religion, this meant women were expected to stay home and take care of kids while the men pursued their careers.

Her brothers had what they needed for college handed to them while OP had to strive to get a scholarship in secret and reveal it before she had to move out. Throughout the years of working toward a degree, she lost contact with her parents.

Now, she’s married and expecting her first child, which her parents somehow found out about, prompting them to ask to see OP after years of no contact. She met them personally, and they said they were sorry.

OP couldn’t just accept their apologies and wanted them to prove how sorry they were by giving her the same money they provided her brothers for their college expenses. Her parents got upset, and her brothers called her immature.

OP shared this entire infuriating tale on Reddit's Am I The A**hole sub

u/DaisyChained89

She received a lot of supportive comments

u/DaisyChained89

And was questioned for her willingness to re-establish contact with her sexist parents

u/DaisyChained89

The intersection of gender roles and familial expectations can significantly impact psychological well-being, especially for women pursuing non-traditional careers. Research from Harvard Medical School highlights that gender stereotypes can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt among women in male-dominated fields such as engineering. This phenomenon, known as 'stereotype threat,' can hinder academic performance and career satisfaction, as women may internalize societal messages suggesting they are less capable.

Studies have shown that creating supportive environments and mentorship programs can mitigate these effects, providing women with the confidence and skills needed to thrive in their chosen fields. For example, the work of Dr. Jennifer Lee at Harvard has demonstrated that women who engage in mentorship relationships often report higher levels of self-efficacy and career satisfaction.

The Role of Forgiveness in Healing

Forgiveness, particularly in familial relationships fraught with disappointment and hurt, plays a significant role in psychological healing. Research by Dr. Robert Enright at the University of Wisconsin-Madison emphasizes that forgiving those who have wronged us can lead to mental health benefits, including reduced anxiety and depression, as well as improved emotional well-being. Forgiveness does not mean condoning the behavior but rather freeing oneself from the emotional burden of resentment.

For individuals in similar situations, developing a structured approach to forgiveness can be beneficial. Engaging in reflective practices, such as journaling about their feelings or participating in guided forgiveness therapy, can help individuals process their emotions. This often leads to a healthier mindset and the potential for rebuilding relationships on new terms.

A kindred spirit warned OP not to allow any of her future children around her sexist family because, based on how they reacted during the meet, they haven't changed

HelenDamnnation

They want a relationship with OP now because they want to poison her kids

Ayoc_Maiorce, HelenDamnnation

OP's attitude from the get-go stopped any attempts of that and she should be proud of herself

AnimalLover38

The Impact of Parental Expectations

Parental expectations can play a crucial role in shaping a child's self-concept and aspirations. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that children who perceive their parents as overly controlling may develop a fear of failure, which can stifle their ambition and lead to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. This reflects the principles of autonomy support, where parents who encourage independence foster resilience and motivation in their children.

To counteract the negative effects of rigid expectations, it's essential for parents to adopt a more supportive approach. This involves actively listening to their children's aspirations and providing guidance while allowing them the space to make their own choices. Research suggests that this balance can lead to healthier family dynamics and better outcomes for children in terms of emotional well-being and academic success.

Her brothers are obviously in the same misogynistic boat as the parents, which is rich coming from men who had their way readily paved for them

QualifiedApathetic

It was a poor attempt at a non-apology. They didn't even respect OP enough to think of a creative excuse for why they were so terrible to her.

OuchLOLcom

OP is thriving in life in spite of all the roadblocks her own parents put in her way. They owe her AT LEAST $100k for everything they put her through.

BaconFaceHappyPants

The dynamics of family relationships, particularly in the context of traditional gender roles, can lead to significant psychological distress for those who feel constrained by their upbringing. According to research conducted at the University of Pennsylvania, individuals who grow up in environments with strict gender norms often experience a delay in identity development, leading to struggles with self-acceptance and autonomy. This is particularly evident when individuals break away from familial expectations, as they may face emotional backlash.

Identifying and challenging these ingrained beliefs can be a vital step toward healing. Psychologists recommend engaging in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques that help individuals reframe their thoughts about self-worth and achievement. By doing so, individuals can create a new narrative that aligns with their values and aspirations, fostering a stronger sense of identity and personal agency.

None of her family deserve to be a part of OP's life or share in her successes & milestones

[deleted], PolitelyHostile

They gave her a generic apology because they still think what they said to her and how they raised her was the only right way. They actually aren't sorry.

SilenceConnoisseur, syntinensisar

Forgiveness is earned, and OP's parents need to grovel for the rest of their lives to deserve grace

Trasl0

Navigating Familial Conflict

Conflict between personal aspirations and familial expectations can lead to significant emotional turmoil. The Family Systems Theory posits that family members are interconnected, and disruptions in one part of the system can create stress across the board. In this case, the Redditor's demand for financial restitution from her parents may be viewed as an assertion of autonomy and a means to reclaim her narrative after years of being constrained by gender norms.

Communication strategies derived from nonviolent communication (NVC) can be beneficial in these situations. According to Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of NVC, expressing feelings and needs without blame can foster understanding and empathy. For example, instead of focusing on the hurt caused by her parents' actions, she might express how their beliefs impacted her dreams and self-worth. This approach may pave the way for reconciliation and healthier family dynamics.

At this point, it's a family tradition

fatapolloissexy

Someone asked OP how will $100,000 help repair their messed-up relationship

alongstrangesomethin

OP said it wouldn't mean they are sorry, but it would at least be a first step to demonstrate how remorseful they are by giving her what her brothers received freely simply because of their genitals

DaisyChained89

Understanding the psychological impact of societal pressures on women, particularly in STEM fields, is essential for fostering resilience. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that women in male-dominated professions often face a double bind of needing to prove their competence while also dealing with gender biases. This can create a hostile environment where women feel they must work harder than their male counterparts to gain recognition.

To combat these challenges, organizations are encouraged to implement diversity and inclusion training that addresses unconscious biases and promotes an equitable workplace culture. Studies have found that such interventions not only improve women's experiences in the workplace but also enhance overall team performance by fostering diverse perspectives.

If you were curious about OP's religion, she had this to say:

DaisyChained89

They weren't really sorry; they just wanted to insert themselves into the life of OP's unborn child. You have to start them really young if you want them to grow up sexist, right?

Their sorry excuse for an apology didn't work, so harassing OP is obviously the way to go. Let's hope OP continues to stand up for herself because her bravery looks great on her!

Psychological Analysis

This situation highlights the deep psychological impact of gender roles and familial expectations. The woman's demand for financial restitution isn't just about money—it's a powerful assertion of her autonomy and a way to reclaim her narrative after years of feeling undervalued. This kind of response can be a critical step in healing from past trauma and establishing boundaries, especially in relationships where traditional gender norms have caused significant emotional distress.

Analysis generated by AI

Understanding the complexities of familial expectations and gender roles provides valuable context for navigating personal aspirations within restrictive environments. Research confirms that cultivating open communication, fostering independence, and encouraging self-acceptance are critical components for individuals seeking to assert their identity against societal norms.

As noted by the American Psychological Association, 'Developing resilience is not just about overcoming obstacles; it's about transforming those experiences into opportunities for growth.' By integrating these insights with practical strategies for emotional regulation and conflict resolution, individuals can empower themselves to forge their paths and heal from past wounds.