Successful Female Engineer Demands $100k From Her Sexist Parents As An Apology For Telling Her She's Not Allowed To Go To College Because She's A Woman

A 28-year-old woman refused to swallow her parents’ sexist rules like it was normal family tradition, and now she’s asking Reddit if she went too far.

Here’s where it gets messy: after years of ignoring that line in the sand, the same parents suddenly want back in, acting like the whole thing can be smoothed over with an apology and a reset button. OP is not buying it, so she demands $100k from them as an apology, and the comments go from “you’re right” to “are you really willing to reconnect.”

And the scariest part? One commenter basically warned her not to let any future kids near them, because their behavior during the meet did not look like growth, it looked like a plan.

OP shared this entire infuriating tale on Reddit's Am I The A**hole sub

u/DaisyChained89

She received a lot of supportive comments

u/DaisyChained89

And was questioned for her willingness to re-establish contact with her sexist parents

u/DaisyChained89

The intersection of gender roles and familial expectations can significantly impact psychological well-being, especially for women pursuing non-traditional careers. Research from Harvard Medical School highlights that gender stereotypes can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt among women in male-dominated fields such as engineering. This phenomenon, known as 'stereotype threat,' can hinder academic performance and career satisfaction, as women may internalize societal messages suggesting they are less capable.

Studies have shown that creating supportive environments and mentorship programs can mitigate these effects, providing women with the confidence and skills needed to thrive in their chosen fields.

OP’s parents didn’t just disagree with her career choice, they shut down her college plans because she’s a woman, and that detail changes everything.

Forgiveness, particularly in familial relationships fraught with disappointment and hurt, plays a significant role in psychological healing. Forgiveness does not mean condoning the behavior but rather freeing oneself from the emotional burden of resentment.

For individuals in similar situations, developing a structured approach to forgiveness can be beneficial. Engaging in reflective practices, such as journaling about their feelings or participating in guided forgiveness therapy, can help individuals process their emotions. This often leads to a healthier mindset and the potential for rebuilding relationships on new terms.

A kindred spirit warned OP not to allow any of her future children around her sexist family because, based on how they reacted during the meet, they haven't changed

HelenDamnnation

They want a relationship with OP now because they want to poison her kids

Ayoc_Maiorce, HelenDamnnation

OP's attitude from the get-go stopped any attempts of that and she should be proud of herself

AnimalLover38

When her sexist parents tried to show up like they deserved access to her life, OP’s $100k demand made the whole thread split into “good for you” and “that’s a lot.”

Parental expectations can play a crucial role in shaping a child's self-concept and aspirations. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that children who perceive their parents as overly controlling may develop a fear of failure, which can stifle their ambition and lead to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. This reflects the principles of autonomy support, where parents who encourage independence foster resilience and motivation in their children.

To counteract the negative effects of rigid expectations, it's essential for parents to adopt a more supportive approach. This involves actively listening to their children's aspirations and providing guidance while allowing them the space to make their own choices. Research suggests that this balance can lead to healthier family dynamics and better outcomes for children in terms of emotional well-being and academic success.

Her brothers are obviously in the same misogynistic boat as the parents, which is rich coming from men who had their way readily paved for them

QualifiedApathetic

It was a poor attempt at a non-apology. They didn't even respect OP enough to think of a creative excuse for why they were so terrible to her.

OuchLOLcom

OP is thriving in life in spite of all the roadblocks her own parents put in her way. They owe her AT LEAST $100k for everything they put her through.

BaconFaceHappyPants

The dynamics of family relationships, particularly in the context of traditional gender roles, can lead to significant psychological distress for those who feel constrained by their upbringing. This is particularly evident when individuals break away from familial expectations, as they may face emotional backlash.

Identifying and challenging these ingrained beliefs can be a vital step toward healing. Psychologists recommend engaging in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques that help individuals reframe their thoughts about self-worth and achievement. By doing so, individuals can create a new narrative that aligns with their values and aspirations, fostering a stronger sense of identity and personal agency.

It also mirrors the AITA case where a poster asked her parents to share mortgage costs equally.

None of her family deserve to be a part of OP's life or share in her successes & milestones

[deleted], PolitelyHostile

They gave her a generic apology because they still think what they said to her and how they raised her was the only right way. They actually aren't sorry.

SilenceConnoisseur, syntinensisar

Forgiveness is earned, and OP's parents need to grovel for the rest of their lives to deserve grace

Trasl0

After a “kindred spirit” warned OP about future kids, the focus shifted from whether the money was fair to whether the parents had actually changed their mindset.

Conflict between personal aspirations and familial expectations can lead to significant emotional turmoil.

At this point, it's a family tradition

fatapolloissexy

Someone asked OP how will $100,000 help repair their messed-up relationship

alongstrangesomethin

OP said it wouldn't mean they are sorry, but it would at least be a first step to demonstrate how remorseful they are by giving her what her brothers received freely simply because of their genitals

DaisyChained89

By the time OP shut down the idea of letting them back in, it was clear the real fight was about boundaries, not just an apology.

Understanding the psychological impact of societal pressures on women, particularly in STEM fields, is essential for fostering resilience. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that women in male-dominated professions often face a double bind of needing to prove their competence while also dealing with gender biases. This can create a hostile environment where women feel they must work harder than their male counterparts to gain recognition.

To combat these challenges, organizations are encouraged to implement diversity and inclusion training that addresses unconscious biases and promotes an equitable workplace culture. Studies have found that such interventions not only improve women's experiences in the workplace but also enhance overall team performance by fostering diverse perspectives.

If you were curious about OP's religion, she had this to say:

DaisyChained89

They weren't really sorry; they just wanted to insert themselves into the life of OP's unborn child. You have to start them really young if you want them to grow up sexist, right?

Their sorry excuse for an apology didn't work, so harassing OP is obviously the way to go. Let's hope OP continues to stand up for herself because her bravery looks great on her!

Understanding the complexities of familial expectations and gender roles provides valuable context for navigating personal aspirations within restrictive environments. Research confirms that cultivating open communication, fostering independence, and encouraging self-acceptance are critical components for individuals seeking to assert their identity against societal norms.

By integrating these insights with practical strategies for emotional regulation and conflict resolution, individuals can empower themselves to forge their paths and heal from past wounds.

The family dinner might be over, but OP’s parents are still trying to buy their way back into the same control they used before.

Want another brutal family money fight, read why this AITA poster expected parents to repay a promised loan.