Woman Stunned By Boyfriend's Bizarre Comparison Of Going To Her Ex's Funeral To A Date

A 28-year-old woman says she did the most normal thing possible after her ex died, she showed up to his funeral. And her current boyfriend? He treated it like she had gone out for a fun night on the town.

Here’s the messy part, OP wasn’t just some random ex’s girlfriend. She was a full-time mom to her ex’s two boys, and he had full custody. So when she went to the service, it wasn’t some casual choice, it was part of her life and her bond with those kids.

Then her man compared attending her ex’s funeral to “going on a date,” and Reddit was not having it.

The OP writes

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

The OP was a full-time mom to her ex's two boys, whom he had full custody of

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I went to my ex's funeral, and I guess that action makes me an AH for caring.

Below are some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

OP's man sounds more like a child

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

OP’s boyfriend basically acted like showing up for a funeral was flirting, and everyone immediately clocked how wild that sounds.

This scenario showcases a troubling aspect of emotional invalidation, where an individual's feelings are dismissed or undermined. The boyfriend's baffling comparison between attending a funeral and going on a date starkly illustrates this point. Such remarks can severely impact the emotional well-being of the bereaved, particularly when they come from someone close. Research indicates that emotional invalidation can contribute to heightened anxiety and depression, especially in relationships that should provide support and understanding. His lack of empathy suggests deeper issues, potentially rooted in insecure attachment styles formed during childhood, which can manifest as an inability to connect with others' grief.

It's completely different from OP's man lying

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

It does not sound like he's trying to guilt her

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

The comments leaned in on the emotional side, because calling grief “a date” is a special kind of cold.

When individuals cannot validate each other's feelings, it can create an emotional distance that may be difficult to bridge.

Studies suggest that fostering emotional intelligence through open discussions can significantly improve relationship dynamics and reduce conflicts.

This is similar to the OP who confronted a friend for using her online shopping account without permission.

OP's man can't be jealous of a dead man, can he?

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

The OP has an irresponsible adolescent who lies

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

The OP dropped this in the comments to clarify certain things

I don't drink; he barely drinks. There has never been violence, and we've never had to call the police to our house. I called him my man because 'boyfriend' sounds adolescent to me.

The OP didn't lie about her whereabouts, so why did her man have to lie?

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

Kicking him to the curb

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

OP tried to clear things up, saying there’s been no violence, she doesn’t drink, and he “barely drinks,” which does not fix the funeral comparison.

Attachment theory posits that our early relationships with caregivers shape our behavior in adult relationships.

It's manipulative and narcissistic

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

Cheating with a dead man

Reddit/Sure_Simple7239

By the time OP explained her role with her ex’s two boys, the boyfriend’s logic looked even worse, and people started pushing for her to kick him to the curb.

To address these issues, couples might benefit from therapy focused on improving their emotional awareness and communication skills.

Implementing regular check-ins about emotional needs can also foster a more supportive environment.

The incident where a boyfriend likened attending his partner's ex's funeral to going on a date underscores the importance of emotional validation in relationships. When navigating grief, the need for understanding and support becomes paramount. This bizarre comparison not only reveals a disconnect in emotional awareness but also highlights how critical it is for partners to listen and empathize with each other during sensitive times.

Effective communication can help bridge gaps in understanding, as shown in various studies that emphasize the role of feeling heard in reducing conflict. The boyfriend's analogy indicates a lack of such communication, which could lead to further misunderstandings and strain in their relationship.

By fostering an environment that prioritizes emotional awareness, couples can navigate difficult conversations more effectively, ultimately strengthening their connection and providing the necessary support when one partner is facing loss.

OP's boyfriend is trying to use the fact that he knew she would be upset as an excuse to lie about what he did. Even with his ex present, it's obvious that he will want to spend time with his kid, and that won't change, so the OP needs to choose whether or not it's a deal breaker for her.

If not, she can discuss it with him moving forward so he doesn't feel like he "needs" to lie about it or use it as a justification. If it's a deal breaker, she can break up with him.

Effective communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships.

Now he’s wondering if he really is the problem, right after comparing her ex’s funeral to a date.

That one-second fallout is nothing compared to the unlucky moments where a single photo captured everything going wrong.