29 Failed Attempts At Chinese And Japanese Tattoos That Will Make You Laugh

No one can deny that Japanese kanji and Chinese characters have beautiful aesthetics. They have a sense of mystique about them.

Additionally, they seem to allude to great wisdom and secret meanings. However, we know the Universe's fondness for irony and a cruel sense of humor.

You're essentially asking for problems if you try to get a tattoo in a language you don't understand. And we have the proof.

We're showcasing a ton of amusing tales from the r/AskReddit online forum about people who speak Chinese or Japanese revealing the most ridiculous tattoos they've ever seen. For the funniest exotic tattoo fail tales and irrefutable evidence that you should practice some caution.

Before getting tattooed, you should at least conduct some basic research. Also, avoid being rude to your tattoo artist. If you don't, you might get the character for "fish" rather than something extraordinary like "poison." Or "foreign illiterate," which is (we won't pretend) so awful it's good.

Have you personally witnessed any attempts at producing tattoos in a foreign language that failed? Maybe you have a tattoo that you wish you hadn't gotten.

Well, this list might make you feel better about your tattoo. Let's take a look:

1. Smart move

"I knowingly got Pork Fried Rice tattooed on my bicep. I get so much free pork fried rice at Chinese places now because the employees think its so funny."

rawkout1337

2. Dirt boy

"My boyfriend got tattooed before we met and he meant to get warrior(士) tattooed on him, but the lines are wrong so it really means dirt (土). The bottom line is supposed to be shorter than the top line. His nickname in my family is now doro-chan which is basically a cute way of saying dirt boy."

Lady_Lina

3. Americans...

"My wife is Chinese and the best one she has personally seen was "fat dumb American" on a guys leg."

TollinginPolitics

4. Those foreigners...

"My buddy has "illiterate foreigner" in traditional Chinese characters. It's dope."

paostmo

5. Cute little princess

"40+ year old bald white guy with Chinese characters that translated as “I’m a cute little princess” on the length of his forearm. Had a good laugh the rest of that day."

Lmaooozedong

6. Emergency exit

"I knew a girl at university who had some Chinese characters down her arm. Came in one hot summer day and I finally saw the whole thing.It said; Emergency exit. Do not block."

A_Redheads_Ramblings

7. Made of vegetables

"Wanted a tattoo in Chinese that said "I am a vegetarian," got a tattoo that said "I am made of vegetables."

middleagethreat

8. Turtle

"I probably shouldn’t be saying this as the person who had this done to them is my best friend but...sh!t...here we go again... My best friend who we’ll call Sarah got a tattoo when she was 16 (where I live, you’re supposed to be 18) her dad passed away about 3 years ago and she wanted to get a tattoo on her wrist to remember him...instead of getting his name which would’ve been easier...she decided she wanted to get “dad” in Japanese...it’s been 2 years since then and I still haven’t told her that it says “turtle” I know that she’ll hate herself if she finds out and to be 100% honest...I kinda like it...I was actually thinking of getting it on my wrist too...my dad passed away when I was only 11 so she’d think I got a tattoo saying dad as well but I’d actually just be getting a pretty hilarious tattoo that I kinda love...I just want to add...if I suddenly go missing...blame it on my best friend

Lil-D**k-Energy

9. Beep Beep Lettuce

"I saw this guy with Japanese characters that translated to “Beep Beep Lettuce”

noobcabinet1

10. I don't speak Chinese

"In high school a lot of people would ask me to write on them in Chinese in pen, I'd always write “我不说中文” which means "I don't speak Chinese"

Eleven_Shelves

11. Strawberries are all about strength and determination

"Worked in Japan for a few years, and shortly after moving back to the US, I spotted a fellow working in a comics shop with a tattoo of a kanji. I recognized it right away, but I asked him what it meant just in case I was horribly wrong. He said it was Chinese, that there wasn’t a direct English translation, and it was about inner strength and determination.My dude, 苺 means “strawberry.”

EverydayA

12. Chicken with noodles

"I dont speak Chinese but back in college I knew a guy who was one of those douchey guys who likes to brag about how cultured they are and stuff when really they're just an a*****e. He came back from China with some characters tattooed on him.My friend next to me (who had real bad social anxiety so would never speak in public to non-friends normally) burst out laughing. Douche-guy got kinda annoyed and said "It says Strength, Wisdom, Passion" or some other weird bs like that.My friend then reached into his bag, pulled out his phone, opened up one of those AR translators, pointed it at the guy's tattoo, and through the magic of AR, revealed it actually said "chicken with noodles".My friend then said that one of his mates in China told him that a lot of Asian tattooists will often deliberately f**k up tattoos and stuff because they get really annoyed at those douchey people coming over asking for random words to be tattooed onto them."

aragonaut

13. Klingon

"Bunch of the guys who invented YouTube came to Japan way back in the early days (2005 or 2006) and I took them out to dinner. One of them asked me if I could read his Japanese tattoo and I had to apologize for not being able to read Klingon."

anon

14. Goldfish man

"I once saw this middle aged dude wearing "金魚佬" on his shoulder (the rough literary translation is "Goldfish Man"), which in cantonese means a sleazy older man who creeps on younger girls/children. Basically a pedo. Wonder under what circumstances he got that inked..."

Olokojamkong

15. Cold to the touch...

"Oooh I love this one! I was once having sex with a guy, about to go down on him when I noticed he had a Chinese tattoo on his inner hip, 凉。I stopped mid-sex, "What do you think your tattoo says.""Oh it's supposed to mean cool, I know it isn't right though..."It actually meant cold to the touch, or disappointing.Fittingly, the sex was quite disappointing."

Doobledorf

16. Tomokazu!

"I once had a roommate placed with me in the apartment our company ran for us here in Japan. He was loud, obnoxious, and I generally didn't get on well with him. But, you try to get along, so we'd go to the izakaya up the street from time to time with other friends to drink and have a good time. The owners were this wonderful old Japanese couple who loved having all these weird gaijin come and entertain the locals.Anyway, somehow we get talking about tattoos and the roommate is showing his off. He then says that he got the kanji for "friendship" (友) and "peace" (和) tattooed on his back and lifts his shirt to show everyone. There's a bit of silence, broken by someone asking, "Who's Tomokazu?" What Roommate didn't know, of course, was that those two kanji in that order were a man's name.He reacted well, though, taking a beat and then announcing, "*I'M* TOMOKAZU!" which became a running joke while he was there."

MShades

17. I fear everyone

"Gets a tattoo in google translate Japanese thinking it says “fear no one” but it really means “I fear everyone”"

Krusty_Krab_Pizza

18. Dog poop

"I met a guy in the air port when I came back from living in Tokyo for 2 years who had just visited Japan. He had 2 symbols on his shoulder I noticed that were "off". I stopped him and asked him what his tattoo said. He said " It means strong will bro." I didn't have the heart to tell him..... his two symbols he picked in order were "dog poop".If you find this online.... im truly sorry bro. Ha ha."

anon

19. Eagle mom

"Not someone I know, but my uncle told me a story about a guy that was a crystal palace fan who thought he was getting "eagles for life" tattooed on him, but the translation in Chinese was more literal and translated to "I give birth to eagles"

ThePeeball

20. Calendar

"My friend thought he had "Warrior" on his arm, but it turned out to be "Calendar"

Matt8992

21. Gay

"I knew a guy who thought he was getting Honor while in the Navy. He was preparing to transfer out to Japan and wanted something to draw Japanese females' attention. Turns out that one of the guys at the shop had a 17 year old sister he had played for sex, so they gave him the symbol for Yaoi. Edit for those not in the know: Yaoi means gay."

Lo-Jakk

22. Battleship...

"A girl I knew thought she was smart and had tattooed pussy destroyer in Japanese onto her arm in kanji. This is hard to do because English slang doesn’t really translate well. She was so proud when she put it into google translate that it said cat destroyer. She picked the kanji for a destroyer class battleship not a person who destroys ...Me and my SO having lovingly named her cat battleship."

baffledtruffle

23. Three small dishes

"My friend got a tattoo that said "veni vidi vici" in chinese, well so he thought. The tattoo acutally said "three small dishes"

xopokxo

24. Chicken or...?

"Not sure if it’s already mentioned. I’ve seen a woman has the character “雞” tattooed on her arm. It’s translated to chicken, literally. But in Cantonese we often refer to prostitutes as “chicken”..."

owlish-cat

25. Beef noodle soup

"I was on the subway in NYC and there was a guy who clearly lifted a lot. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and on his jacked arms in chinese were the words “牛肉麵” or “Beef noodle soup” for everyone to see. Man looked ready to get the rest of his favorite restaurant’s menu tattooed on his body."

nyaaaarp

26. Giant failure

"I saw somebody who probably doesnt understand japanese flexing with his japanese tattoo. It is translated to english, surprise surprise, *a giant failure*.

GMBoxer

27. Love fat boys...

"He thought it said “Love my grandson”. It translated to something like “I love fat boys”. I think it was a google translate failure of epic proportions."

MisterComrade

28. Barbecue girl...

"Ariane Grande tattooed the words “Barbecue Grill” on her hand."

StaringAtTheDesktop

29. Storm drain

"Storm drain" on a guy who wanted "The way of water" like Bruce Lee always talked about."

tatsukunwork

One can always conceal the tattoo or have it laser-removed if they truly regret getting it or discover that what they initially believed to be a wonderfully amazing string of characters actually represents something completely absurd. There are always ways to cover tattoos, however, doing so sometimes requires getting a bigger tattoo than the one already there.