Family Drama: AITA for Seeking Support from Grandma After Coming Out to Mom?

Coming out is already a nerve-racking moment, but this one started with an accidental photo and somehow turned into full-blown family warfare.

OP, 19F, got outed over Christmas break when her mom found an image of her and friends at Pride on her phone. Her mom insisted she would not kick her out, but the reaction was still disgust and anger, and OP left in tears. She called her grandmother, her mom’s mom, who is a staunch LGBTQ+ supporter, and drove over because she needed a safe place to land.

Now her parents are mad that OP went to Grandma, claiming she was “deliberately causing problems.”

Original Post

Hello. So, over Christmas break, I (19F) got outed/came out accidentally as queer to my family.

My mom (40s F) found an image on my phone of me and my friends at Pride last year that she was not supposed to find. But it turned into a whole big thing, she said that she wouldn't kick me out, but she was mad and disgusted.

I was upset and quite frankly angry myself, so I left, and called my grandmother (70s F). My grandmother, my mom's mom, is a staunch LGBTQ+ supporter.

I told her my situation, and drove to her house in tears because I was upset at my mom. I told her my feelings, and how hurt I was by my mom's actions, and she took good care of me until I went back to college several states away.

My parents just found out that I contacted her and went to her. They said that I was deliberately causing problems, because now my grandmother is mad at my mom for being homophobic towards me.

As much as I would like to say that all of my decision was just because I was scared, there was an ounce of me that went to my grandma because I knew she would be mad about it. I know that I shouldn't have done that, but I also don't know who else I would have gone to.

I feel bad, and now my entire family situation is worse. Aita?

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Also, the poster who fed their cat human food against the vet’s orders, while their partner got upset, feels similar.

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OP’s Pride photo discovery is what lit the fuse, and suddenly “support” felt like a promise with strings attached.</p>

The moment OP drove to her grandmother’s house in tears, the whole situation stopped being private and started getting interpreted as a strategy.</p>

When OP’s parents learned Grandma was involved, they flipped the story and blamed OP for making her mom look worse.</p>

After Christmas break ended and OP went back to college several states away, the fallout still followed, like nobody could let it go.</p>

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

The family dinner did not end well, and OP is stuck wondering if getting comfort from Grandma made her the villain.

Before you judge, read about the faux-fur mattress topper fight with spouse allergies.