Family Drama: Should I Ask Cousin to Repay Education Donation?
AITA for questioning the use of family loan meant for cousin's college tuition? Family divided on whether funds should be returned or seen as a gift.
Some people don’t recognize a favor until it turns into a bill, and this family drama is basically that in real time. A 28-year-old man watched his cousin’s “prestigious college dream” turn into a one-semester detour, and now he wants the money back that everyone rallied to send her.
Here’s the messy part: the cousin’s parents couldn’t cover tuition, so the whole family pitched in, and he dropped a significant chunk. Then she dropped out after one semester, not because she was forced out, but because she wanted a different career path. When he asked about repayment, she said she used the funds for other expenses since she didn’t finish, and now the family is split between “it was a gift” and “it was for education.”
And the worst part is, everyone’s feelings are now tied to the same pile of money.
Original Post
I (28M) come from a tight-knit family that values education. Recently, my cousin (23F) got accepted to a prestigious college, but her parents couldn't afford the tuition.
The entire family pitched in to help, and I contributed a significant sum. Fast forward a few months, and I found out that my cousin dropped out of college after one semester because she wanted to pursue a different career path.
I was shocked and disappointed that the money intended for her education was now seemingly wasted. When I asked her about repayment, she mentioned using the funds for other expenses since she didn't finish the semester.
This rubbed me the wrong way since we all donated specifically for her education. I feel like she should return the money or at least contribute it to a future educational endeavor.
My family is divided on this issue, with some siding with me, while others believe I should let it go since it was a gift. I understand their perspective, but I can't shake off the feeling that the money should be used for its intended purpose.
So AITA?
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This feels like the AITA case where a man refused to lend money to his unemployed cousin after she splurged on luxury purchases.
Should I Refuse to Lend Money to My Unemployed Cousin Who Prioritizes Luxury Purchases?Comment from u/beachbum99
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The moment OP heard his cousin dropped out after one semester, the “family helped her get in” story instantly started sounding like “family got played.”
When OP confronted her about repayment, her explanation about using the education donation for other expenses lit the family dinner on fire.
The relatives who say “just let it go” are basically arguing that the donation’s purpose doesn’t matter once the check is gone.
Now OP is stuck watching his cousin’s new career plans sit on top of the money the family thought was locked in for tuition, and that’s where the resentment really grows.
What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!.
OP might not be asking for much, but he is asking the cousin to admit the money was never meant to fund her detour.
Wait, it gets messier than tuition money, read how someone demanded struggling parents repay their student loans. Should I Ask My Struggling Parents to Repay My Student Loans?
