Family Feud: Should I Keep My Inheritance Instead of Giving It to My Mom?

A 28-year-old woman refused to let her mom get her hands on everything after her dad died, and it turned a simple probate into a full-on family standoff. The mom had set up matching wills, so when one spouse passed, the surviving parent would keep 50% of the properties, and the other 50% would go to the kids.

Here’s the twist, though, OP is her father’s only child, so she stood to inherit his entire half. Meanwhile, her mom’s half was supposed to be split between three children, because of her mom’s first marriage. After dad died, OP was the trustee, but probate costs were suddenly due fast, and the only way to pay them was to sell the rental property.

That’s when the rental deal, the lawyer pressure, and OP’s desperate “yes” to get the sale moving, all collided.

Original Post

A few years ago, my mom decided she wanted to create wills for herself and my dad. Her main reason for this was to ensure that if she died first, my brother and sister (from her first marriage) would get their fair share of her estate.

So both wills were structured the same -when one spouse dies, the other would keep 50% of the properties and the remaining 50% would go to the kids. I am my father's only child so I stood to inherit his full share.

Whereas my moms share would be split among 3 of us. There are only 2 properties to be dealt with, the primary residence where my parents lived and a rental property.

Well, not even a year later my father passed away. The first year following his death neither me or my mother were emotionally capable of dealing with his affairs although I was the trustee of his estate.

The following year I realized I had to get my sh*t together and probate. But this was going to cost a lot of money that I did not have.

I told my mom we need to sell the rental property (as per the will, she has a life interest in the primary property) so I can use my half of the proceeds to pay for probate and all the legal costs. This is where it got messy.e. down-payment and carrying costs.

Therefore she believes that all the proceeds from the sale should go to her. She hired a lawyer who tried to get me to sign an agreement that I would give her my share of the sale proceeds which I refused.

She made selling the property h**l. At one point we received an offer for full asking price but she refused to sign and we lost the deal.

My lawyers advised me that I could legally force the sale of the property but this would take much more time and incur more cost. We took the listing off the market and I spent another month trying to convince her to sell the rental property.

Finally she agreed, on the condition that I give her all the money from the sale. Ok so I lied.

I told her I would just to get her to go ahead with the sale. I needed the proceeds to settle probate and all the fees etc.

We eventually sold the house and 2 equal checks were issued, one to her and one to the estate (which would be me essentially). She demanded the other half from me.

When I refused and explained what the majority of the proceeds were paying for she disowned me. Actually told me that I no longer have a mother, don't come to her funeral and told anyone that would listen that I'm a thief and a demon, among other things.

She stopped taking calls from my children. My brother and sister stopped talking to me.

AITA for keeping the money?

Comment from u/SoValkyrieMama

Comment from u/loudshits

Comment from u/CarlowCarlo

Comment from u/lukibunny

Comment from u/Shelders

Comment from u/raerae6672

Comment from u/Silver_XIII

Comment from u/okileggs1992

This reminds me of a bride deciding whether to invite her thalassophobic brother to a dream yacht wedding.

Comment from u/[deleted]

Comment from u/[deleted]

Comment from u/catzrob89

Comment from u/shitidonthaveaname

Comment from u/Effulgencey

Comment from u/Niith

Comment from u/dragoneggblaze

Comment from u/lizzyborden666

Comment from u/[deleted]

The moment OP told her mom they needed to sell the rental property to cover probate costs, the “fair share” idea went straight out the window.

When OP’s mom hired a lawyer and pushed for OP to sign over her sale proceeds, the negotiation stopped feeling like estate planning and started feeling like a power play.

The offer at full asking price fell apart because OP’s mom refused to sign, so now OP was stuck paying the price for her mom’s stubbornness.

After OP finally got the rental sale approved, on the condition that OP give her mom all the money, OP realized she had lied just to keep the process alive.

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments.

Now OP is stuck wondering if keeping her inheritance made her the villain, or just the only person who tried to survive the mess.

For another family blowup, read how she refused constant babysitting demands from her sister without ruining the holidays.