Heartbroken Redditor Asks If She Should End Her Engagement With Her Family-Obsessed Fiancé

When Reddit user u/Vast_Cockroach6713's fiancé proposed to her, she was thrilled (and relieved) that he was finally putting her first in their relationship. But, sadly for the OP, it wasn't long before things went pear-shaped.

The Redditor shared her story in the r/relationship_advice subreddit. She explained that throughout her six-year relationship with her fiancé, they have often had issues because of his obsessive attachment to his family.

The OP says her fiancé works for his father, and their relationship is "extreme." They spend all day, every day together, and when he's not at work, he is at his parents' house.

The couple has already broken up once because of this, and now the OP is wondering if the time has come to end the relationship for good. The Redditor says their relationship has improved significantly since they have been living together, and she was stunned when her fiancé planned a beautiful proposal for her.

She felt he was finally putting her first, but unfortunately, that didn't last long. Recently, the OP's fiancé informed her he would be going on a random flight because his father told him to.

When the OP told him she was upset that he didn't bother to consider her feelings, he said, "First God, then my father. My father is like a God to me."

The OP says she feels that she will never be a priority in her fiancé's life, and now she's wondering if this is her sign to end the engagement and leave. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked for advice on potentially ending her engagement.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

The OP explained that she has been with her fiancé for six years, and they have often had issues relating to his attachment to his family.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

The OP says her fiancé's relationship with his father is extreme.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

Understanding Relationship Priorities

When one partner is overly focused on family, it can create feelings of neglect in the other partner. Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, emphasizes that "a healthy relationship requires emotional availability and mutual prioritization." She highlights the importance of balancing family dynamics with relationship needs on her professional website. Additionally, Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, states that "when partners prioritize family over their relationship, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and resentment," which can undermine relationship satisfaction. For more insights, visit The Gottman Institute.

The couple has already broken up once before because of his family.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

The Redditor says he is the love of her life.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

But recently, the OP's fiancé told her he was going on a random flight because his father said so.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

This dynamic often highlights underlying attachment styles, where one partner may have an anxious attachment and the other an avoidant style. Research shows that these patterns, if left unaddressed, can create a cycle of emotional disconnection.

Dr. Amir Levine emphasizes that recognizing and discussing these attachment styles can be key to fostering understanding and empathy in relationships.

He told her his father is "like God" to him.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

Now the OP is wondering if this is her sign to leave.

Reddit/Vast_Cockroach6713

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/TelevisionMelodic340

The Importance of Mutual Prioritization

For healthy relationship dynamics, mutual prioritization is key. Couples should engage in discussions about their individual needs and how those intersect with family obligations.

This collaborative approach can help ensure that both partners feel valued and understood. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that couples who navigate family and relationship needs tend to report higher levels of satisfaction.

What happens when there are kids involved?

Reddit/rae707wynn

"Incredibly unhealthy."

Reddit/Chicago_Synth_Nerd_

"You should listen."

Reddit/lollipopfiend123

To address these concerns, couples can benefit from setting aside dedicated time for each other, free from family distractions. Building a regular routine of 'couple time' can help reinforce the emotional connection.

Additionally, attending couples therapy can provide tools to communicate effectively about prioritization and emotional needs, ultimately strengthening the bond between partners.

End it now!

Reddit/hannahsflora

"Huge red flag."

Reddit/WaxPond51502

"Yes, it's your sign to leave."

Reddit/BakeTime1089

"You're seeing the repercussions of getting back together years later."

Reddit/Just_My_Luck09987

"Run fast."

Reddit/Nuclearpanda86

"Pathetic!"

Reddit/Flimsy-Ambassador415

It's time to leave.

Reddit/Tall_Key_6274

"He showed you his priorities."

Reddit/BadParallelParker

"Yes, you should be done."

Reddit/Dry_Ask5493

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think this is the OP's sign to end her engagement and get the heck out of there, or should she give her fiancé another chance?

Either way, the OP is in a heartbreaking position. We certainly don't envy her one bit!

We would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Psychological Analysis

When one partner's family obsession overshadows the relationship itself, it can lead to significant feelings of neglect. This behavior often stems from the partner's own attachment history and can be addressed through open dialogue and mutual understanding of needs.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the dynamics of relationship prioritization is crucial for emotional health. Research consistently indicates that couples who communicate openly about their needs tend to experience greater satisfaction.

As noted in various relationship studies, prioritizing the relationship alongside family commitments is essential for long-term happiness.