Mom Angry After Guests Tried To Enforce Their Family Rules On Her Daughter In Her Own Home
"When DD is at their house, their rule applies. Generally, I would agree – their house, their rule..."
House rules can get awkward fast, especially when two families do things very differently at the dinner table. In this case, one mum was happy to respect her friends' rules in their home, but she drew the line when they tried to bring those same rules into hers. That difference was manageable until her daughter started feeling anxious about meals, and the tension followed the family from one house to another.
Then the argument spilled over into OP's own kitchen, and she was left wondering whether she was being unfair or simply protecting her child. Read on.
OP wondered: “AIBU to not make my child eat everything on her plate?”
Cottonbro StudioWe have close friends whose house we eat at, or they eat at ours, fairly often.
When DD is at their house, their rule applies. Generally, I would agree - their house, their rule. However, there have been quite a few times recently when she’s become very upset at being forced to eat a whole plate full of food she doesn’t want, with the threat of no pudding hanging over her (she’s 6 and loves pudding).
My friend and her DH are very firm with all the kids that they have to eat everything, and they follow through with the threat of no pudding. It’s got to the point where I’m finding reasons not to go there to eat because DD is so anxious about it.
That is where the dinner-table tension really started to show.
What is bothering me a lot about this situation is that when they come to eat at our house, they try to enforce the same rule.
She said fair enough, but for the sake of making everything fair to her kids when they’re all eating together, the rule has to apply - it’s not fair that her kids have to do this while mine don’t.
I take things on a case-by-case basis - I generally know what DD has eaten during the day and so know she’s had a roughly balanced diet. So if she doesn’t want to finish a whole plate of food, and presuming she’s eaten (what I consider to be) enough, then she’s allowed to leave what she doesn’t want and still have pudding. I also don’t want to force her to eat or use pudding as a reward. In my own house?! Or when at restaurants? In their house, okay, I guess. But if I’m following their rules in their home, surely they should return the gesture when in my house?!
Most users on the Mumsnet forum were on OP's side and backed up her decision.
Anna ShvetsHere's how the Mumsnet community reacted to Lolabear38's post:
@PaddleBoardingMomma/ Mumsnet
OP is perfectly capable of determining her child's nutritional needs.
@PaddleBoardingMomma/ Mumsnet
OP and her friends should not hang out together when their kids are around.
@ByeByeBoree / Mumsnet
OP should not allow them to make her child go through that.
@SaveWaterDrinkGin / Mumsnet
You have to draw the line somewhere.
@altmember / Mumsnet
OP has every right to enforce her own house rules, and her friends should respect that. Their rules are respected at their home, and it should be the same when they are at OP's house.
We feel that's the societal norm here - everyone makes rules in their own home. If you enjoyed reading this, make sure to check out similar content on our platform.
The family dinner did not end well.
For another dinner standoff, read how one woman debated excluding her sister over a raw food diet.
