This Redditor Just Wanted Some New Jeans, But Her Friend Accused Her Of “Fat Shaming” And Ditched Her

A Redditor recently found herself in the middle of unexpected friend drama after what she thought would be a low-key shopping trip. The 22-year-old OP explained that shopping is usually more frustrating than fun for her, thanks to tricky proportions that make finding clothes a challenge.

She described herself as short, thin, and curvy, which means many stores either don’t carry her size or don’t carry styles she likes. Because of that, she typically tags along while her friend shops and doesn’t expect to buy anything.

That changed when the two stumbled across a brand-new boutique that appeared to cater to smaller sizes. The OP decided she wanted to pop in quickly, hoping she might finally find something that fit and felt right.

Her friend, however, shut the idea down immediately, saying the store wouldn’t carry her size. Things escalated when the friend accused the shop of “fat shaming” and said the OP was wrong for wanting to go inside.

The Redditor was confused and told her friend the visit wasn’t personal, just practical. She added that she’d spent years shopping at stores for her friend’s sake without buying anything herself.

When the OP suggested her friend could either come in briefly or wait outside, the situation hit a breaking point. The Redditor went inside anyway, only to come back out and realize her friend had completely left.

Afterward, the OP said her friend stopped responding to texts, calls, and even social media messages. That silence hurt even more, considering they’ve been friends for six years.

In an edit, the OP clarified her body type and explained why looser clothes don’t work for her. She also shared that she did find items that fit perfectly, but the win felt hollow without her friend.

Now she’s left wondering if she handled the situation poorly or if the reaction was over the top. Mostly, she just hopes a shopping disagreement doesn’t end a long-term friendship.

Things escalated when the friend accused the shop of “fat shaming” and said the OP was wrong for wanting to go inside.

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by Reddit user 'ExpertDapper1523'.

Me (22F) and my (22F) friend were out shopping last week. I usually don’t like shopping much, because I rarely find anything my size. Due to my height and body shape, finding clothes is really difficult. I’m short and thin but curvy if that makes any sense. It’s not that I never find anything my size, it’s just that on the off chance that I do, it’s not really my style.So whenever my friend and I go out shopping, I kind of just tag along wherever she wants to go. Mostly because I don’t really expect to find anything. The other week, however, we came across a new store that had just opened (I’m not going to name said store for privacy purposes). The window to it clearly showed sizes that were for smaller and thinner people, so I thought I’d give it a go.But my friend said it’d be a waste of time because they didn’t seem to carry her size. I thought she was being kind of unreasonable so I asked if she could just come with me just really quickly. But she said that she didn’t like the idea that I was “purposely” going into a store that “fat shamed” people. Mind you, this store isn’t a chain or anything. I’ve never even heard of it before and it’s just named something French.So I was surprised when she brought up fat shaming. But when I told her it had nothing to do with it and that I just wanted to find stuff for myself, she made a really big deal out of it and told me I was being selfish for not considering her feelings. I told her she could either come with me and help me out, or wait outside. She just asked me if I was serious, so I went inside anyway. When I came outside she was just gone. She’d seriously ditched me and I tried texting and calling but she hasn’t been answering.Note: We’ve been friends for about 6 years and I used to be midsize around the time we met when we were both 15 or so, but I picked up diet and exercise before college and did get quite fitter and thinner. I’ve also never told her off about her weight or shamed her in any way. Plus, it’s not as though she is fat or anything. She’s midsized to large sized. I don’t really see her point of view, when I’ve gone to a lot of stores for her sake without buying anything for myself. But I guess I could’ve gone about it differently somehow? I don’t know, but AITA?**Edit:** I read some of the comments (will reply soon) but here’s more context: Like I mentioned before, we’ve been friends for about 6 years and I’d really hate to lose a friend to something like this. Also, I saw some YTA in relation to my proportions and yes, I guess I will just say it. I do have a large chest and big hips but I’m thin. Because of this, jeans that are bigger than 2 don’t fit my waist and shirts that are not small will go over my chest and fall directly down if that makes any sense. I see this style around, but I personally do not prefer this. I’d rather have my clothes not be so loose. I was able to find jeans that I got tailored shorter and lots of tops and skirts that fit me perfectly, so I am happy about that. I am just really upset that my friend still has not responded to me. I tried on different social media too. I hope it’s not a lost cause.

Understanding Body Positivity

Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability and shame, emphasizes that body positivity movements are crucial in reshaping societal norms about beauty and self-worth.

She explains that the challenge lies in how individuals perceive themselves in relation to these societal standards.

When someone feels judged, it can trigger a defensive reaction, as seen in the Redditor's situation. This highlights the importance of fostering environments where all body types are celebrated, allowing for open, non-judgmental conversations about body image.

Let’s see how the Reddit community reacted.

LiveKindly01

She’s putting words in your mouth.

Necessary-Fly-1095

A professional therapist noted that navigating shopping experiences can invoke anxiety for many individuals, especially when societal pressures about body image come into play.

They suggest that approaching shopping as a self-care activity, rather than a chore, can shift one’s mindset. Setting personal boundaries about what feels comfortable can help, as well.

For example, before shopping, individuals can take a moment to affirm their positive attributes, which can create a more empowering experience overall.

She fat shamed herself.

Glittering-Ear-2315

It goes both ways.

456name789

Don’t get it twisted.

iKnowRobbie

The Influencers of Emotional Reactions

Dr. Dan Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry, explains how emotional reactions often stem from past experiences and relationships. These reactions can be triggered in seemingly mundane situations, such as shopping.

He highlights the importance of emotional intelligence—understanding one's feelings and those of others—in navigating social dynamics effectively.

Being aware of how one’s emotional history influences reactions can help create more constructive dialogues, reducing misunderstandings in friendships and social settings.

Her insecurities are not your problem.

sientetiamicara

This can’t be real.

Eunomia28

She’s not a real friend to you.

Viva_Veracity1906

Experts in relationship dynamics emphasize the importance of open communication to prevent misunderstandings. A relationship expert suggests using 'I' statements to express feelings without placing blame.

For instance, saying 'I felt uncomfortable when...' can foster a more productive conversation than simply accusing someone of fat-shaming.

This approach allows for mutual understanding and can help friends navigate sensitive topics with more compassion and empathy.

Your friend is very insecure.

H3yAssbutt

Seems fishy.

BoxFullOfSuggestions

She’s being selfish.

Rich-Pirate-4745

Navigating Friendships and Boundaries

Dr. Judith Beck, a cognitive therapist, emphasizes that friendships often thrive on mutual respect and understanding of boundaries. When boundaries are crossed, it can lead to conflict.

She recommends engaging in proactive conversations about feelings and expectations, especially in sensitive situations. This could involve discussing body image in advance, setting the stage for a more supportive atmosphere.

Such strategies may help friends navigate shopping trips without triggering insecurities, ultimately strengthening their bond.

She needs to work on herself, not you.

Teejayz1

Unbelievable!

FormerlyDK

In the end, what was meant to be a quick stop at a new store turned into a much bigger question about boundaries, body image, and friendship. Whether the Redditor was simply advocating for herself or unknowingly crossed a line, one thing’s clear: this wasn’t really about clothes at all.

Expert Opinion

This situation highlights how deeply intertwined body image and friendship can be. The friend's reaction likely stems from her own insecurities about weight and body image, which can amplify feelings of rejection or inadequacy when a friend seeks to explore options that don't include her. It’s a reminder that sometimes, what seems like a minor disagreement can tap into larger emotional struggles, making open communication essential in maintaining healthy relationships.

Understanding the Deeper Patterns

In navigating complex social dynamics like shopping with friends, understanding emotional triggers and practicing effective communication is essential. Experts advise that fostering an atmosphere of openness and respect can significantly reduce misunderstandings.

By implementing strategies such as affirming self-worth and using 'I' statements, individuals can create healthier interactions. Ultimately, it’s about cultivating an environment where all parties feel valued and heard, leading to deeper connections and more fulfilling friendships.