Redditors Weigh In On Father's Decision To Stop Paying For Daughter's Car After Finding Out That She Worked As A Stripper

There was a heated debate on Reddit's Am I The A**hole community about an argument between a father and his daughter. The 47-year-old dad asked if it was wrong of him to stop making car payments for his daughter after he found out that she worked as a stripper.

OP's 22-year-old daughter is a college student who lives on campus. He agreed to help her pay for her car because she was still in school.

One of his younger colleagues informed OP that his daughter worked as a stripper at a club 40 minutes from where they lived. OP confronted his daughter about her job.

His daughter said that she didn't plan to continue stripping after college; she needed extra cash to get by in the meantime.

OP told his daughter to take a job at a fast-food restaurant instead of using her body. They argued—OP asked his daughter to quit her job and apply for a "decent" one.

His daughter refused and said that stripping was "easy" money. OP stated that he would stop paying for her car since she made money so easily.

His daughter became upset because she didn't earn enough to cover her car payments on her own. OP's wife didn't approve of their daughter's trade either but told OP it was unfair of him to go back on their deal with their daughter over an argument.

OP believed that his decision was more than fair. It was his money to spend.

u/LivingWitHorse

He still wanted to know what the Redditors thought of his situation.

u/LivingWitHorse

...and, boy, were they candid with their answers.

u/LivingWitHorse

Understanding Parental Expectations and Financial Support

Parental expectations regarding financial support can create significant stress in parent-child relationships. Research by Dr. C. Nathan DeWall indicates that financial pressures can lead to conflict and misunderstandings between parents and children.

The father's frustration regarding his daughter's career choices reflects a common struggle many parents face when they perceive their investments are not being honored.

First of all, how did this coworker know that she was OP's daughter?

DanyDragonQueen, daxter2768

Why isn't OP more concerned that a random coworker knew enough about his daughter to point to the strip club where she works?

WaifuLoaf

It's not okay for women to be sex workers, but it's fine for men to watch?

Reddit

Financial decisions, particularly in young adulthood, can be influenced by various factors, including societal norms and personal values. Studies show that young adults often experience tension between their desires for independence and their parents' expectations.

This dynamic highlights the importance of open communication and understanding in navigating financial discussions.

The disturbing theory is that there was never a coworker who saw his daughter. Was it OP all along who went to a strip club and was surprised to see his daughter as one of the dancers?

Throwawaydaughter555

Redditors called OP out for backing out on a deal and adding a condition to an agreement that wasn't there in the first place.

Ghargoyle

All labor requires workers to sell their bodies, just in different ways.

Vegetable-Ambition72, loverlyone

The Role of Autonomy in Young Adult Decision-Making

As young adults transition into independence, the balance between parental guidance and autonomy becomes crucial. Dr. Barbara K. Sokolove emphasizes that granting autonomy while providing support can lead to healthier outcomes for young adults.

The father's approach may need to shift towards fostering his daughter's independence rather than exerting pressure, which could lead to resistance.

If his daughter is paying for her schooling and expenses, OP can't demand that she quit her job.

Draiel

I didn't even notice OP's username at first. But now that they pointed it out... u/LivingWitHorse is a thinly veiled, gross pun.

Draiel

By stopping financial assistance, his daughter will become more desperate for money.

Bite_Me_16

To nurture a healthier relationship, the father might consider adopting a more supportive stance. Engaging in active listening and validating his daughter's choices can foster an environment where she feels safe to share her decisions without fear of judgment.

This approach can promote trust and strengthen their bond during this transitional phase.

Parents pointed out that no loving parent would want their children to end up doing sex work.

Reddit

They understood where OP's objections stemmed from.

Beautiful-Act6485

However, if he truly doesn't want to push his daughter further into the industry, cutting off her car payments is the wrong way to go about it.

FoolishDog1117

Financial Communication and Relationship Dynamics

Effective communication about finances is vital in maintaining healthy family relationships. Dr. John Gottman’s research on emotional intelligence highlights that understanding and validating emotions can enhance relationships.

In this scenario, the father’s frustration may indicate a need for better emotional communication, which could help bridge the gap between his expectations and his daughter's feelings.

OP is allowed to feel how he wants to about his daughter's job as a stripper. He was, however, wrong to push the agenda that one form of labor is more "dignified" than the other.

If he doesn't want his daughter to continue stripping, then OP needs to get out of his outdated mindset and approach his daughter with concern instead of judgment. OP's account was suspended before he could provide an update.

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the complexities of parental expectations during pivotal moments in a child’s life. The father’s frustration reflects a common struggle among parents who feel invested in their children’s futures, emphasizing the need for open dialogue and understanding.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating parental expectations regarding financial support requires open communication and emotional understanding. By fostering autonomy and support, families can work together to create a more harmonious relationship.