Feeding Animals Extra and Allowing Them in My Room: AITA for Untraining My Brother's Pets?

A 20-year-old woman thought she was just being helpful when she heard a new puppy crying in the hallway, but that “quick little snack” turned into a full-on nightly routine. Next thing she knew, the dogs were sleeping at her bed like they owned the place, and the cats were curled up on her bookshelf every night.

Here’s the messy part: her 32-year-old brother loves animals, in the impulsive, bring-home-a-new-pet kind of way. The house already has five dogs and three cats, and the rules were supposed to be strict, no inside time and only two feedings where food has to be eaten within five minutes. But the brother wasn’t the one doing the feeding or cleaning most days, their dad was, and now the brother thinks she’s “making them fat” and letting them break the rules.

So the question is, did she accidentally take over as the unofficial pet butler, or is her brother being unfair about what happens in her own room?

Original Post

Hello. I (20F) am not an animal person: I don't hate them and do like playing with them, but I'm not really responsible enough to have one and don't intend to have one.

My brother (32M) really loves animals. He has a "habit," I guess you can call it that, where he will impulsively bring an animal home, which is how we ended up with five dogs and three cats.

However, most of the time he's either in his room working from home or at his girlfriend's house, so essentially, the main caretaker for the animals is Dad (65M). My brother did tell us about the rules for the animals.

The most important rules are: "they only eat twice a day, and if they don't start eating in five minutes, you have to take the food away" and "they can't go inside, only in the yard." However, last month, I was returning home from work and heard the new puppy crying.

He is about three months old, I think, and he was looking at his food bowl. I put food out for him, and since the others were around, I put food out for them as well.

Essentially, it kept happening until it became a habit for me to put food out for them when I got home from work, and somehow, this led to them being allowed in my room. Now the dogs sleep at the foot of my bed and the cats on my bookshelf every night. My brother is very mad at me, and every time he notices, he goes into my room to make them leave, and we are fighting because of it.

I understand the animals are his and everything, but the animals clearly like to sleep in my room, and I don't mind them being there. My room is separate from the rest of the house, so it's not like it bothers the other occupants.

I think he is most mad about the feeding since he claims I will make them fat.

My dad doesn't care and says my brother doesn't get an opinion because he isn't the one who buys food and cleans up after all the animals he brings home. My brother claims they are still his, so he should decide what to do with them.

AITA?

The bond between humans and pets often provides emotional support and companionship, which can be particularly strong among siblings.

Research from the University of California, Berkeley, highlights that pet ownership can significantly enhance emotional well-being, leading to conflicts when rules are perceived as unfair.

When individuals feel a strong attachment to pets, any perceived threat to that bond can lead to defensive behaviors.

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The second she heard the three-month-old puppy crying and put out food, it started a pattern that neither her brother nor their dad planned for.

Family members often experience discomfort when their values clash with those of their siblings, leading to heated disputes.

Open discussions about each person's values regarding pet care can help mitigate this tension and foster mutual understanding.

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Practical Solutions for Family Disputes

One effective strategy to address these disputes is to establish a family agreement regarding pet care responsibilities.

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Once she kept feeding everyone after work, her room quietly became the one place the animals were allowed to settle in.

Moreover, recognizing that pets can serve as emotional anchors for both children and adults can guide families in navigating these conflicts.

Understanding the emotional stakes involved can encourage siblings to approach discussions more empathetically, leading to collaborative solutions.

Engaging in family activities with pets can also strengthen bonds and create positive shared experiences that outweigh conflicts.

This also echoes the moment the OP got ghosted when they needed help, then refused to help back.

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What are your thoughts on this situation? Share your perspective in the comments below.

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Every time her brother storms into her room to shoo the dogs and cats out, the whole family turns into a fight about rules and responsibility.

Her dad shrugs that her brother has no say since he’s not buying the food or cleaning up, and now it’s basically a custody battle over snacks and bedtime.

In the case presented, the tension around pet care highlights the importance of open communication among family members.

Now he’s mad she “untrained” his pets, but the real problem might be that he keeps bringing home animals he can’t consistently manage.

For another boundary fight, see what happened when she confronted her friend’s luxury vacation bragging.