Feeling Resentful Over Unequal Inheritance Split

Some families keep score in ways they never say out loud, and this one is playing out in Snap-On branding and inheritance whispers. The OP is sitting there trying to be chill, while their dad’s “stuff” decisions land like a slap every time someone mentions who got what.

Here’s the messy setup: the OP’s dad had five kids from his first marriage, then ghosted them for 20 years after the divorce. Years later, the OP’s full sister reached out, and suddenly those older siblings are back in dad’s life. On top of that, the OP says their family has lived hand to mouth, while their dad’s other kids had money problems solved by a wealthy stepfather, and mom hinted the OP’s inheritance would be “stuff,” pointing right at those tools.

Now the OP is stuck wondering if being resentful makes them a bad person, or if it’s just what happens when the math never adds up.

Original Post

So, my dad had five kids from his first marriage and literally ghosted them for 20 years when he divorced their mom. But, a few years ago, my full sister reached out to them on Facebook.

After a fair bit of drama they're back in dad's life. I have no interest in knowing these people, but great for them.

So, my dad is a retired mechanic and had an extensive Snap-On tool collection. I found out about a month ago that he gave the entire collection to his oldest son Mike, who had absolutely zero interest in owning these tools.

On top of that, dad's other kids grew up with significantly more resources than me and my sister and have all achieved a fairly large amount of wealth. I don't know the actual value of the tools, but there's no way it wasn't a 5 digit number.

Whatever he got for selling them was a drop in the bucket for him. Additionally, my mom had mentioned a few times that since I'm on disability, my "inheritance" would probably take the form of "stuff" and then mention the tool collection right afterwards.

I guess I should have asked more specific questions, but the thought of pressing my parents for details about what I get when they die makes me feel like a greedy little s**t. AITA for being salty about this?

EDIT: I think I need to better clarify something. Thanks to a very wealthy stepfather, money has literally never been a problem for my dad's other kids while our family has lived hand to mouth for me and my sister's entire lives.

Am I really wrong for feeling like this? EDIT, THE SEQUEL: Ok, fine ITA.

These comments are actually helping me recognize and work out some issues I apparently have with this, so thanks a lot, guys. 👍

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It’s like the babysitting showdown where relatives kept pushing, until she drew a hard line.

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The situation gets extra spicy when the OP finds out the tool collection went straight to Mike, even though Mike did not even want them.

That sting turns into a whole knot of feelings when the OP remembers their mom casually mentioning the “inheritance” would be “stuff,” right after bringing up the tools.

Then the comments roll in and the OP has to face the fact that their dad’s other kids weren’t just “better off,” they had help from a wealthy stepfather the OP never had.

And after admitting they pressed the situation too hard in their own head, the OP lands on the real question, are they mad about the tools, or mad about the years of unequal access?

How would you handle this situation? Let us know in the comments.

The family dinner might be over, but the resentment is still sitting at the table.

For another inheritance fight, see why one woman refused to split Grandma’s antique watch with Alyssa and Ben.