Filipino Working Overseas Stops Sending Money To Family After They Forgot Her Birthday, Prompting Realization They Treat Her Like an ATM

A 28-year-old woman stopped wiring money to her family overseas, and it all started with something that should have been simple: her birthday. Instead of a call, a message, or even a quick “happy birthday,” she got silence, and it hit harder than she expected.

She had been supporting her dad and brother for years, the kind of “successful child” obligation her culture taught her to accept. But once she realized they only remembered her when money was due, she cut the transfers. Then things got messier, because her brother is still acting like that monthly support will bankroll his overseas life, including the plane ticket she had set aside for him.

Here’s the full story.

OP is saddened and upset about what she learned. She hasn't sent any money to her family in the Philippines since then.

roku330

OP didn't inform her dad and brother why she stopped sending them money. Her brother still plans to live overseas using the money and plane ticket OP set aside for him.

roku330

The situation involving the overseas worker illustrates the complexities of financial relationships within families.

Such dynamics highlight the importance of balanced financial interactions to maintain healthy family connections.

OP's guilt gnawed at her. She was raised in a culture that expected successful children to financially sustain their family. However, she felt used. The recent birthday snub proved how little they valued her.

roku330

OP has shown enough generosity to her family. She is how they have survived all these years, yet they can't even remember to show their appreciation for her on her birthday.

newfriend836639

When her dad and brother skipped her birthday, OP didn’t just feel hurt, she felt replaced by a bank transfer.

Studies indicate that individuals who perceive themselves as being treated like an 'ATM' often struggle with feelings of being undervalued.

This can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust, further complicating familial relationships.

It was poor planning on her brother's part to adopt two dogs when he doesn't even live independently.

K_1959

OP needs to remind herself a few times a day that she is not responsible for two ungrateful adults or anyone else who depends on them. Their family ties are irrelevant in this situation.

Serious_Hamster_9361

After she stopped sending money, her brother kept the plan for living overseas like OP was still funding his life.

Setting boundaries around financial assistance can also promote healthier relationships.

This is similar to the long-time friend who kept asking for money, and the OP refused anyway.

How bold of him to procreate when he doesn't have a job. Does he even plan to get one?

slendermanismydad

OP should view this as an opportunity to start anew. She would save herself a lot of money and heartache if she stopped the monthly subscription to "earn" her family's love.

AlarmingDelay3709

Therapeutic interventions can aid families in navigating these complex dynamics. Family therapy can provide a safe space for members to articulate their feelings about financial expectations and support.

This can lead to a better understanding of individual needs and reduce feelings of resentment.

I can only imagine OP's heartache when she realized that the people she worked so hard for couldn't even be bothered to remember her birthday.

HoshiJones

OP feels used because her family is using her.

Reddit user

The worst part is OP never even told them why, so the “ATM” vibe stayed unchallenged while her guilt kept eating at her.

The last commenter stated it astutely. The money that OP sent was meant for her family to better themselves and supplement the income they were earning themselves.

OP shouldn't have to carry the financial burden for her brother and dad, who are more than capable of making an honest living. OP didn't share any updates, but her decision shouldn't be difficult after realizing how little she meant to her family without a financial incentive.

Funny how they remembered when OP's monthly transfers were supposed to hit their bank account, but they couldn't remember her birthday.

CalendarDad

OP's situation is a sad reality for many Filipinos living and working overseas.

1hate3putts

Even if her dad and brother apologized, OP should still stop propping up their lifestyles with her money.

southernwinter

How long will OP's brother last before he asks her for money?

sushi_is_life2468

Your family should uplift you, not burden you.

AnonymooseVamoose

And just to pile it on, her brother was out here adopting two dogs while still not living independently, acting like OP’s money had no end date.

The emotional landscape of financial relationships within families is often intricate and challenging. In this case, the Reddit OP's experience highlights a growing disconnect between her and her family. While she has been providing financial support from overseas, the lack of acknowledgment on her birthday suggests an underlying issue where her family may see her primarily as a source of income rather than as a loved one. The OP's realization that her family treats her like an ATM rather than a cherished member is a call to action for both parties to reassess their expectations and emotional connections.

Nobody forgets a birthday by accident when they’re used to getting paid.

That same boundary fight shows up when a friend ignores your struggles and refuses help, too, in this AITA about refusing to lend money.