30 Deal-Breakers That Can Immediately Ruin Any First Date Experience, As Shared By People Online

Excitation, nervousness, anxiety, and joy are common on first dates, along with a sense of possibility and optimism for what may happen. Whether it's a wonderful romance or just a funny anecdote to tell your friends over cocktails later, you never can tell what will happen.

These days, love is a little more difficult to come by, from meeting someone new to simply being able to get together with the least amount of discomfort and maximum safety. Most times, people go ahead to find some romantic and inspiring first date ideas online.

You see, first dates are infamously difficult, particularly if you haven't actually met them in person and have only ever interacted with them in a buddy group setting. It makes sense that coffee shops are such well-liked hangouts since there's a strong likelihood that you won't click and that you'll need to leave quickly.

A first date is crucial since it's when you make your initial impression and, more significantly, because it's a major indicator of whether or not the relationship will last. So, in an attempt to find out what turns people off the most, two Reddit threads have got people sharing their first-date dealbreakers.

You're about to learn a lot, especially if you're going on a date, so go ahead and enjoy.

1. "Being married"

Bringing your friend to the date because you were nervous.Bragging about your knife collection at home.Never knew these things would come up in the first dates I’ve been on, but here we are.pelicanfriends

2. Red flag

TrailerParkPrepper

The Role of Expectations in Dating

Psychological research emphasizes the importance of expectations in shaping interpersonal experiences. Dr. John Gray, a renowned relationship author, states, "When we enter a date with preconceived notions, we set ourselves up for disappointment if reality doesn't align with those expectations." This highlights the necessity for open communication and realistic perspectives, as unrealistic expectations can sour potentially enjoyable experiences. For more insights, visit Dr. John Gray's website.

3. Clowning interests

snellysnz

4. "No sense of humor or one that doesn't mesh well with mine."

-eDgAR-

Additionally, the concept of 'first impressions' plays a significant role in dating dynamics. Research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that first impressions are often lasting, influencing how individuals perceive each other long after the initial meeting.

This underscores the importance of being genuine and authentic on first dates, as these traits foster trust and openness.

5. "When he tells you he's married, but wants something "on the side"."

Upset-Experience-615

6. Running men down

Away_Swim1967

Exploring Deal-Breakers: Psychological Insights

Understanding the psychological concept of 'deal-breakers' is crucial in dating contexts. Studies indicate that certain behaviors or traits are perceived as non-negotiable for many individuals, often rooted in personal values or past experiences.

For instance, research from Frontiers in Psychology indicates that individuals with strong attachment styles may have more rigid deal-breakers, often reflecting deeper insecurities or past relational traumas.

7. Being inconsiderate

Responsible_Hand_789

8. No, no, no

segflt

Moreover, the influence of social norms can shape perceptions of acceptable behavior on first dates. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "Societal expectations can create a framework that pressures individuals to behave in certain ways, often leading to anxiety about how they are perceived." This pressure can result in feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt, impacting the overall experience of the date. Dr. Solomon emphasizes that "understanding these social dynamics can help individuals navigate their dating experiences with greater confidence."

9. "If they expect sex."

Fun story, I went on the WORST date a while ago. Guy seemed nice enough when we first met, but during the first date, I realized he was a total sleaze and maybe crazy? He asked me out of the blue if I was on birth control. When I said yes, he said, "sweet, that means I don't have to wear a condom."I was so taken aback. Who says stuff like that? At that point, I knew I'd never touch him - not when a ten and a half foot pole - but I felt weirdly compelled to explain to him how stupid that was. I asked what he'd do if he knocked me up. "Oh, it's no big deal. You'll just get it taken care of, that's all." He didn't understand that abortions aren't cheap, easy to get, or fun. When I expressed that, he rolled his eyes and said condoms *weren't fair to him* and that *having to wear a condom is a deal-breaker.*I left that restaurant so fast I must've made his head spin. He tried to backtrack, said "maybe I can make an exception for you!" I declined and told him I wasn't interested. Then he tried to call me up nine months later to hang out. Because "no girl in all of DC wants to go on a date and it's so frustrating." Uh... maybe because you're gross and awful, dude? Also, this guy was 30. I'd expect this b******t from a teenager. Not a 30-year-old.sleepyhollow_101

10. "From personal experience, casually dropping that the Earth is only a few thousand years old and rock stars get famous by making a deal with Satan. The worst part is the moment when you have to stop laughing because you realize it wasn't a silly joke."

mildly_gone

Practical Strategies for a Successful First Date

To enhance the likelihood of a successful first date, individuals can benefit from practical strategies grounded in psychological research. For instance, engaging in shared activities, such as cooking or attending a class together, can foster connection and reduce performance anxiety. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned marriage researcher, states, "Shared experiences create a foundation for deeper emotional connections." His insights can be found on his professional website, gottman.com. Additionally, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, emphasizes that "participating in activities together can create a sense of teamwork and ease the tension often felt during first dates." More of her work is available at dralexandrasolomon.com.

11. "If it’s a one way conversation, me asking them questions and taking interest in their life and them asking none or minimal questions about me."

TheJadedSF

12. "When they’re nice to you but not to the waiter. Because one day, you’ll be in the waiter’s position."

LongDiddly

Additionally, adopting a mindset of curiosity and openness can significantly improve dating experiences. A study in the International Journal of Psychology found that individuals who approach dating with an open mind and willingness to explore new perspectives report higher satisfaction levels.

Practicing active listening can also foster deeper connections, allowing both individuals to feel valued and understood.

13. "If in the midst of conversation you have to brag about how much your parents make or how they gave your brother an Audi, I’m done."

I’m not saying coming from a rich family is bad, but if you feel a need to bring it up on the first date, I’m going to assume you have nothing better to bring to the table.baconcheesescone

14. "Being constantly on their phone."

actualclaudemonet

First dates can be compared to selecting books to read. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but let's avoid discussing the book cover so, we are all now judging based on the story's opening.

Nobody wants to waste their time, even with an incredible plot, so if the beginning doesn't catch readers' interest, nobody will read it. This is also how relationships operate and you can drop your own thoughts in the comments section below.

15. "Being racist and sexist without realizing it and then kinda shaming you for what you are. I didn't call her back."

10_Virtues

16. No time to waste

I wore heels on a blind date. The guy looked me up and down, then said "You know it's rude to wear heels on a blind date right?" I said "I'm sorry I didn't premeditate the fragility of your ego." He back-peddled and begged me to stay for the meal. I had half a drink and had to walk out. When someone shows you their true colours, why waste anyone's time after that?candacelarissa

17. "If they don’t like animals. I’ve always had dogs (have two right now) and went on a date once where he said he hated animals. I left shortly after."

anothersadpisces

18. Naive and insecure

kaffie27

19. The lies

anon

20. Burger time

Well, one guy showed up to the wrong lunch location and made ME drive to meet him (I was working, he was not) - strike 1. I arrive and he gets out of his car wearing sweats (he made me wait over 2 hours while he got ready - strike 9). Is 7 inches shorter than he said he was (which isn’t a problem unless you LIE about it - strike 13). And then... he was missing some critical burger eating teeth (that’s not even a strike - at this point I was in for the entertainment value this would add). Then he got into a loud, long anti government rant that only paused when I realized my car was being broken into. I run outside and defend my car expecting my date to be gallantly by my side. He was not - he just sat in the booth content to let me fight off someone rummaging through my car. Strikes 1000-39276651.Oh. And he cried twice.And watching him eat a burger wasn’t even close to being as entertaining as I wanted it to be.MissMurphysLaw

21. "Being late. I’m not talking a few minutes late, I’m talking a half hour late or anything later than that."

VorpalBender

22. Being choked

martianpumpkin

23. "Real special, understanding lady"

FantasticWittyRetort

24. "Went on a date with a guy yesterday who was a christian (I'm an atheist, but that's fine) and went on an unprompted monologue about how homosexuality is not God's will (not fine). I am a man, we were both men, it was a gay date. It was very confusing."

anon

25. "When he brings up his idealistic woman physically and I match none of those. For example, “All girls should have straight hair”."

dentduv

26. "Talking non-stop about wanting a "traditional" family where mom doesn't work. Like sure, but that's not me so move on. Or bringing up being an alpha male. Just no."

Cotheron

27. "When she tries to spritz me with Holy Water since I was never baptized."

Anon

28. "Bad Hygiene"

Ended up nicknaming him halitosis boy.. Had a guy turn up to a date once like he hadn't showered in months. He smelled so bad I had to lean back in my chair to get away from the smell. So gross. He was the worst but lots of guys make no effort to look or dress nice on a date too. Always makes me think... This is as good as it gets so that's a nope!

SeaActiniaria

29. Tinder date

avocado_kowalski

30. "Lying. If someone is significantly different from anything they have led me to believe prior to the first date I’m immediately not interested. I don’t really care that much about their weight, height, political leanings, religion, etc, but lie to me first thing and we’ve got nothing else to talk about."

almostahermit

Psychological Analysis

Many of the challenges faced during first dates stem from a combination of personal expectations and societal pressures. It’s crucial for individuals to approach these experiences with an open mind and a willingness to communicate honestly.

By doing so, they can alleviate the stress often associated with dating and create more authentic connections.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In summary, understanding the psychological principles at play during first dates can lead to more meaningful and enjoyable experiences. By managing expectations, embracing authenticity, and employing practical strategies, individuals can navigate the complexities of dating with greater ease.

Ultimately, fostering open communication and genuine connections enhances the likelihood of successful interactions.