30 Deal-Breakers That Can Immediately Ruin Any First Date Experience, As Shared By People Online
First dates are very tricky but this points might help
A 28-year-old woman wasn’t even looking for drama when she sat down for what sounded like a normal first date. The guy seemed fine at the start, easy conversation, decent vibes, and then the whole thing flipped fast.
During the date, he blurted out that he wanted sex and asked her if she was on birth control. When she said yes, he basically celebrated it, saying he wouldn’t have to wear a condom. Then he doubled down, acted like condoms were “unfair,” and suggested she could just “get it taken care of” if things went wrong, like abortions are a quick errand.
By the time she was explaining how ridiculous that was, she knew she was out.
1. "Being married"
Bringing your friend to the date because you were nervous.Bragging about your knife collection at home.Never knew these things would come up in the first dates I’ve been on, but here we are.
pelicanfriends2. Red flag
TrailerParkPrepperThe dynamics of first dates are often influenced by the expectations we carry into them.
3. Clowning interests
snellysnz
4. "No sense of humor or one that doesn't mesh well with mine."
-eDgAR-
Additionally, the concept of 'first impressions' plays a significant role in dating dynamics.
5. "When he tells you he's married, but wants something "on the side"."
Upset-Experience-615
6. Running men down
Away_Swim1967
That’s when the date stopped being awkward and started being terrifying, because the condom conversation came out of nowhere.
In the realm of dating, recognizing the significance of 'deal-breakers' can shape the trajectory of any first date.
7. Being inconsiderate
Responsible_Hand_789
8. No, no, no
segflt
The dynamics of social norms play a significant role in shaping how individuals approach first dates.
9. "If they expect sex."
Fun story, I went on the WORST date a while ago. Guy seemed nice enough when we first met, but during the first date, I realized he was a total sleaze and maybe crazy? He asked me out of the blue if I was on birth control. When I said yes, he said, "sweet, that means I don't have to wear a condom."I was so taken aback. Who says stuff like that? At that point, I knew I'd never touch him - not when a ten and a half foot pole - but I felt weirdly compelled to explain to him how stupid that was. I asked what he'd do if he knocked me up. "Oh, it's no big deal. You'll just get it taken care of, that's all." He didn't understand that abortions aren't cheap, easy to get, or fun. When I expressed that, he rolled his eyes and said condoms *weren't fair to him* and that *having to wear a condom is a deal-breaker.*I left that restaurant so fast I must've made his head spin. He tried to backtrack, said "maybe I can make an exception for you!" I declined and told him I wasn't interested. Then he tried to call me up nine months later to hang out. Because "no girl in all of DC wants to go on a date and it's so frustrating." Uh... maybe because you're gross and awful, dude? Also, this guy was 30. I'd expect this b******t from a teenager. Not a 30-year-old.
sleepyhollow_101
10. "From personal experience, casually dropping that the Earth is only a few thousand years old and rock stars get famous by making a deal with Satan. The worst part is the moment when you have to stop laughing because you realize it wasn't a silly joke."
mildly_gone
She watched him roll his eyes at her reality check, including how abortions are not cheap or simple, and realized he was not listening.
To navigate the complexities of a first date, practical strategies can significantly enhance the experience. Engaging in shared activities, such as cooking together or attending a class, not only fosters connection but also alleviates the performance anxiety that often accompanies these encounters. The idea that shared experiences serve as a foundation for deeper emotional bonds is particularly relevant here. Such activities can create a sense of teamwork, which is invaluable in easing the tension typically felt on a first date. Embracing this approach could be the key to transforming a potentially awkward situation into an enjoyable and memorable experience.
11. "If it’s a one way conversation, me asking them questions and taking interest in their life and them asking none or minimal questions about me."
TheJadedSF
12. "When they’re nice to you but not to the waiter. Because one day, you’ll be in the waiter’s position."
LongDiddly
Additionally, adopting a mindset of curiosity and openness can significantly improve dating experiences.
13. "If in the midst of conversation you have to brag about how much your parents make or how they gave your brother an Audi, I’m done."
I’m not saying coming from a rich family is bad, but if you feel a need to bring it up on the first date, I’m going to assume you have nothing better to bring to the table.
baconcheesescone
14. "Being constantly on their phone."
actualclaudemonet
First dates can be compared to selecting books to read. I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but let's avoid discussing the book cover so, we are all now judging based on the story's opening.
Nobody wants to waste their time, even with an incredible plot, so if the beginning doesn't catch readers' interest, nobody will read it. This is also how relationships operate and you can drop your own thoughts in the comments section below.
15. "Being racist and sexist without realizing it and then kinda shaming you for what you are. I didn't call her back."
10_Virtues
16. No time to waste
I wore heels on a blind date. The guy looked me up and down, then said "You know it's rude to wear heels on a blind date right?" I said "I'm sorry I didn't premeditate the fragility of your ego." He back-peddled and begged me to stay for the meal. I had half a drink and had to walk out. When someone shows you their true colours, why waste anyone's time after that?
candacelarissa
17. "If they don’t like animals. I’ve always had dogs (have two right now) and went on a date once where he said he hated animals. I left shortly after."
anothersadpisces
18. Naive and insecure
kaffie27
19. The lies
anon
20. Burger time
Well, one guy showed up to the wrong lunch location and made ME drive to meet him (I was working, he was not) - strike 1. I arrive and he gets out of his car wearing sweats (he made me wait over 2 hours while he got ready - strike 9). Is 7 inches shorter than he said he was (which isn’t a problem unless you LIE about it - strike 13). And then... he was missing some critical burger eating teeth (that’s not even a strike - at this point I was in for the entertainment value this would add). Then he got into a loud, long anti government rant that only paused when I realized my car was being broken into. I run outside and defend my car expecting my date to be gallantly by my side. He was not - he just sat in the booth content to let me fight off someone rummaging through my car. Strikes 1000-39276651.Oh. And he cried twice.And watching him eat a burger wasn’t even close to being as entertaining as I wanted it to be.
MissMurphysLaw
21. "Being late. I’m not talking a few minutes late, I’m talking a half hour late or anything later than that."
VorpalBender
22. Being choked
martianpumpkin
23. "Real special, understanding lady"
FantasticWittyRetort
24. "Went on a date with a guy yesterday who was a christian (I'm an atheist, but that's fine) and went on an unprompted monologue about how homosexuality is not God's will (not fine). I am a man, we were both men, it was a gay date. It was very confusing."
anon
25. "When he brings up his idealistic woman physically and I match none of those. For example, “All girls should have straight hair”."
dentduv
26. "Talking non-stop about wanting a "traditional" family where mom doesn't work. Like sure, but that's not me so move on. Or bringing up being an alpha male. Just no."
Cotheron
27. "When she tries to spritz me with Holy Water since I was never baptized."
Anon
28. "Bad Hygiene"
Ended up nicknaming him halitosis boy.. Had a guy turn up to a date once like he hadn't showered in months. He smelled so bad I had to lean back in my chair to get away from the smell. So gross. He was the worst but lots of guys make no effort to look or dress nice on a date too. Always makes me think... This is as good as it gets so that's a nope!
SeaActiniaria
29. Tinder date
avocado_kowalski
30. "Lying. If someone is significantly different from anything they have led me to believe prior to the first date I’m immediately not interested. I don’t really care that much about their weight, height, political leanings, religion, etc, but lie to me first thing and we’ve got nothing else to talk about."
almostahermit
When he tried to backtrack with “maybe I can make an exception for you,” she did not give him a second chance.
Even after she left fast and declined, he still called nine months later, like “no” was just a suggestion.</p>
As highlighted in the article, first dates are a whirlwind of emotions, and recognizing the psychological dynamics involved can significantly enhance the experience. By setting realistic expectations and embracing one's true self, individuals can navigate these often nerve-wracking encounters with more confidence. The article suggests that practical strategies, such as being open and honest, can pave the way for deeper connections. This approach not only alleviates the pressure of making a perfect impression but also fosters an environment where genuine interactions can flourish, increasing the chances of a successful date.
The date didn’t just have red flags, it had a full on “on the side” energy and he still tried to come back for more.
Wild first-date etiquette moment, see why this person insisted on separate bills after rude behavior. Read the etiquette expert’s separate-bills showdown.
