Friend Always Late: Would I Be Wrong to Cancel Plans and Stop Waiting Around?

A 27-year-old woman is tired of playing the “fashionably late” waiting game with her friend Sara, who can turn a simple meet-up into an awkward two-hour sit-and-stare situation.

Every time they make plans, Sara shows up at least an hour after the agreed time, and even though the friend group has turned it into a running joke, OP says it doesn’t feel funny when she is the one stuck waiting at cafes and parks. She’s already tried talking to Sara more than once, explaining that it makes her feel disrespected and wastes her time, but Sara laughs it off and gives the same casual apology.

Then came brunch at 11 AM, and OP watched the clock pass, messaged Sara, waited even longer, and finally decided she was done.

Original Post

I (27F) have a friend, let's call her Sara. Sara is the type of person who is always fashionably late.

When we make plans to meet up, she consistently arrives at least an hour after the agreed time, leaving me waiting awkwardly at the cafe or park. It has become a running joke in our friend group about Sara's perpetual lateness.

For background, I've tried talking to Sara about the issue multiple times. I've explained how her lateness makes me feel disrespected and wastes my time, but she always brushes it off with a laugh and a casual apology.

Needless to say, it's starting to wear on me. Recently, we made plans to meet for brunch at 11 AM.

I arrived early as usual, but 11 AM came and went with no sign of Sara. I messaged her, and she replied saying she was running late and would be there soon.

An hour passed, then another, and I was left sitting alone, feeling frustrated and taken for granted. Finally, after waiting for over two hours, I decided enough was enough.

I texted Sara that I was leaving and that I couldn't keep waiting around for her to show up whenever she pleased. I went home, feeling a mix of relief for standing up for myself and guilt for potentially hurting our friendship.

So, Reddit, WIBTA for canceling plans with my friend Sara who always shows up late, leaving me waiting for hours?

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It also echoes ending a friendship with someone who constantly belittles you under the guise of jokes.

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The jokes in the friend group might be harmless, but OP is the one who keeps getting left outside the cafe like a background character.</p>

After Sara brushed OP off in the past, the brunch plan at 11 AM turns into the moment OP realizes “soon” can mean “never on time.”</p>

When OP messages Sara and still ends up waiting through two whole hours, the guilt hits, but the frustration is louder.</p>

Now OP is wondering if she crossed a line by texting Sara she was leaving, right after Sara kept pushing the arrival back.</p>

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

OP might be “wrong” only if Sara expects OP to keep donating hours of her day to the late train.

Wondering if your “schedule first” boundary could cost you, read about refusing to plan a vacation around friends’ schedule.