Friend Betrayed Me by Dating Cheating Ex: AITA for Not Supporting Them?

A 28-year-old woman refused to play nice after realizing her “best friend” was dating the man who destroyed her relationship. Six months after she found out Alex was cheating, she cut both Alex and Sara out of her life, no slow fade, no polite distance.

Now Sara is back with an apology, saying her feelings for Alex “developed over time,” and asking for support like the whole betrayal thing should just… evaporate. The complicated part is that Sara and OP have been friends since college, so this is not some random fling, it’s a double hit to trust, loyalty, and history.

And once you’ve been cheated on by your ex and betrayed by your friend, “support their relationship” sounds less like closure and more like reopening the wound.

Original Post

I (28F) recently found out that my friend 'Sara' (28F) is dating my ex-boyfriend, 'Alex' (30M). Alex and I broke up six months ago because I discovered he was cheating on me with Sara.

It was a devastating betrayal, and I cut both of them out of my life at that time. Sara reached out recently, apologizing for her behavior and explaining that she and Alex have developed feelings for each other over time.

She's asking for my support and understanding. For background, Sara and I have been friends since college, and I never suspected any betrayal from her.

Despite her plea, I feel incredibly hurt and betrayed all over again. I can't bring myself to support their relationship, knowing the pain they caused me.

I'm torn between wanting to forgive Sara for the sake of our long friendship and feeling like I can't trust her anymore. So AITA?

Betrayal often triggers deep feelings of loss and grief, not just anger.

Sara reached out after months of silence, and the apology did not erase the fact that she helped turn OP’s breakup into a public heartbreak.

Comment from u/RandomRamblings456

NTA - That's a double betrayal! Your friend dating your cheating ex is a major red flag. You have every right to feel hurt and betrayed.

Comment from u/SadieBear23

Oof, that's a real mess. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. NTA for sure. It's a huge boundary violation for your friend to date your ex, especially after what he did.

Comment from u/GoldenSnitch77

Wow, talk about a lack of loyalty. You're definitely NTA here. I wouldn't be able to forgive that kind of betrayal. Your friend and your ex crossed a major line.

Comment from u/TeaAndSarcasm

NTA - Your friend should have respected your feelings and the history you had with Alex. That's a tough situation to navigate. Your feelings are valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

The timing is brutal, because OP already knows Alex’s cheating story, and now he’s attached to the exact person she trusted.

Comment from u/MoonlightDreamer99

Yikes, that's a sticky situation. I'd say NTA. It's understandable to feel hurt and betrayed. Your friend dating your ex, especially after what happened, is a bit too much. Take care of yourself first.

This gets messy in a similar way to the woman debating whether to cut off an addict ex from their baby after another money request.

Comment from u/OceanBreeze113

NTA. Your friend and ex crossed a major line. That's a huge betrayal, and your feelings are completely valid. It's okay to take time to process everything and decide what's best for you.

Comment from u/MellowMarshmallow

NTA - That's a tough situation to be in. Your friend should have respected your feelings and not pursued a relationship with your ex, especially under those circumstances. Your feelings are valid.

Their college-friend bond makes it worse, since OP is not just reacting to a new couple, she’s reacting to a long-standing betrayal.

Comment from u/GuitarGoddess007

Definitely NTA. Your friend dating your cheating ex is a major breach of trust. It's understandable to feel hurt and betrayed. Take your time to process everything and prioritize your well-being.

Comment from u/StarlightWhispers22

NTA.

Comment from u/SilentObserver123

Wow, that's a tough spot to be in. NTA. Your friend dating your cheating ex is a huge betrayal. Your feelings are completely valid. Take the time you need to process everything and make decisions that prioritize your well-being.

OP’s refusal to support them is basically the only boundary that still feels real after Alex and Sara crossed the line together.

What's your opinion on this situation? Join the conversation!

This includes communicating openly with friends about feelings of betrayal.

The emotional turmoil stemming from betrayal is palpable in this situation where a long-time friendship is tested by romantic entanglements. The Reddit user's experience highlights the importance of prioritizing emotional well-being in the face of such hurtful revelations. Engaging in self-care practices can be vital for healing, allowing individuals to process their feelings and regain their footing. This scenario exemplifies the intricate dynamics of trust—once shattered, it can leave a lasting impact on future relationships.

Moreover, navigating through betrayal involves not only resolving the immediate conflict but also embarking on a journey of personal growth. The process of rediscovering one's self-worth after experiencing such deep emotional wounds is crucial. It serves as a reminder that relationships, whether romantic or platonic, require careful consideration of trust and loyalty.

This scenario underscores the profound emotional turmoil that frequently arises from betrayals within intimate relationships. The Reddit user's experience reveals a shattered sense of loyalty, which can breed feelings of hurt and confusion. As she grapples with the dual betrayal from both her friend Sara and ex-boyfriend Alex, it is natural for her to experience self-doubt and a challenge in rebuilding her trust in others. Navigating the complex waters of her past friendship while processing the pain inflicted is no small feat.

OP is not being “difficult,” she’s just refusing to pretend the betrayal didn’t happen.

For another family blowup over who gets paid, read what happened at graduation lunch when a father got confronted for not covering everyone.