Friend Seeks Dating Advice, Ends Up Dating Crush: AITA?

Some people don’t recognize a favor until it turns into a love triangle. In this Reddit post, a guy goes from “helping his friend” to “dating the friend’s crush,” and now he’s stuck trying to figure out who he’s supposed to care about most.

OP, a 27-year-old man, has been close with Alex, 26, for years. Alex finally opens up, saying he has a crush on Casey, a 25-year-old mutual friend, and he asks OP for advice on how to approach her. OP gives thoughtful suggestions, then a few weeks later, OP and Casey “naturally” hit it off, and feelings turn romantic fast.

The real mess starts when Alex realizes the person he wanted to pursue is now OP’s girlfriend, and everyone is acting like nobody saw it coming.

Original Post

So I'm (27M) and I've been friends with 'Alex' (26M) for years. He recently opened up to me about having a crush on a mutual friend, 'Casey' (25F).

Alex asked me for advice on how to approach Casey, so I suggested ways to show interest and build a connection. Fast forward a few weeks, and Casey and I naturally hit it off.

We have a lot in common, and our friendship quickly turned romantic. However, I didn't anticipate the depth of my feelings for her.

Now, Alex feels betrayed and hurt. He confided in me, seeking guidance as a friend, and now I'm dating the person he liked.

I value his friendship but didn't predict my emotions getting in the way. AITA for initially giving advice to Alex about pursuing Casey, then ending up in a romantic relationship with her?

I'm torn between my feelings for Casey and preserving my friendship with Alex. Help me see this from an unbiased perspective.

So AITA?

This situation reveals the complexities of friendship intertwined with romantic feelings. Here’s a guy who initially steps in to help his friend Alex woo Casey, only to find himself falling for the same person. It's a classic tale of unintended consequences, where good intentions lead to emotional chaos. The moment the OP admits to developing feelings, it not only complicates his friendship with Alex but also puts Casey in an awkward position.

The tension here is palpable. The OP's decision to pursue Casey after giving advice to Alex raises the question of loyalty. Does helping a friend with dating advice mean you forfeit the right to pursue the same love interest? This moral gray area resonates with many readers, as it challenges the boundaries of friendship and romantic interest.

Comment from u/Rainbow_Lemonade47

Comment from u/CoffeeCat

Comment from u/RapidlyMeandering

OP tells Alex how to approach Casey, and it sounds harmless until OP and Casey start getting way too compatible, way too quickly.

After those “fast forward a few weeks” vibes, OP realizes he’s not just playing wingman anymore, he’s catching real feelings.

It gets messy like the AITA where a friend sought dating advice about their crush’s ex, risking the friendship.

The Community's Divided Opinions

The Reddit community's response to this dilemma has been fascinatingly mixed.

Comment from u/Jovial_Ninja123

Comment from u/MoonlitDreamer

That’s when Alex’s “I confided in you” hurt turns into betrayal territory, because OP’s advice and OP’s relationship are now the same story.

Meanwhile, Casey is stuck in the middle of two friends, and the comments are basically split on whether OP did anything wrong or just got unlucky.

What would you do in this situation? Share your opinion in the comments.

This story underscores how love can complicate even the simplest friendships. The OP's predicament raises important questions about loyalty and the ethics of pursuing a friend’s crush. As readers engage with these moral dilemmas, it prompts us to reflect on our own boundaries in friendships. What would you do if you found yourself in such a tangled web of emotions? Would you prioritize friendship or follow your heart?

Why This Matters

This situation highlights the often unpredictable nature of emotions in friendships. The protagonist, after giving Alex advice on pursuing Casey, inadvertently developed feelings for her, showing how quickly connections can evolve. His struggle reflects a common dilemma where good intentions clash with the reality of human emotions, leading to feelings of betrayal for Alex.

He didn’t steal Casey on purpose, but he still ended up paying the friendship price.

Before you judge Alex, see what happened when a friend pursued the crush who confessed first. Should I Have Pursued a Relationship with My Friend Who Confessed Feelings First? AITA?