Fed Up Redditor Asks If He's An A**hole For Refusing To Help His "Always Late" Girlfriend After She Loses Her License

We've all heard the saying, "It's better late than never," but unfortunately, that's not always the case. For Reddit user u/GFLicenseThrowaway, running late has proved to be a costly habit for his girlfriend, and he recently shared their story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit.

He explained that his girlfriend is always late. No matter what the situation, she's just never on time.

The OP clarified that his girlfriend is not on the autism spectrum, and she doesn't have ADHD or time blindness. She just dawdles constantly and can't seem to manage her time appropriately.

The Redditor says his girlfriend snoozes her alarm at least three times before getting up in the morning. Then, she wastes more time lying in bed and scrolling through her social media.

When she eventually gets up, she takes a long shower and then takes forever to choose what she's going to wear. Of course, she's usually running late for work at that point, so she ends up speeding to get there on time.

She's racked up quite a few speeding tickets, and the OP has tried his best to help her get up earlier. But nothing seems to work, and it just takes her even longer to get ready.

Recently, the OP's girlfriend was running even later than usual for work. She sped to make it on time, and sure enough, she received another speeding fine.

The ticket resulted in her having to hand in her license for six months. She told the OP that he would have to "cop this one" so she could keep her license, but he refused and told her she would need to take responsibility for her actions.

After arguing about it for a few days, the OP's girlfriend eventually conceded. However, she told him he would have to drive her to and from work until she got her license back. 

She insisted it shouldn't matter since his job has flexible hours. But the OP refused and told her she would have to use public transport.

She claimed she hates public transport and refuses to use it, but the OP stood his ground and said she would have to find another way. She called him an a**hole and has been giving the OP the silent treatment.

Now the OP is wondering if he is the a**hole here. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if he's an a**hole for not saving his girlfriend's driver's license and refusing to drive her to and from work.

Reddit/GFLicenseThrowaway

He explained that his girlfriend is always late.

Understanding Relationship Accountability

The question of accountability in relationships often surfaces when one partner feels unsupported. According to Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in marital stability, patterns of behavior such as 'always being late' can significantly impact relationship satisfaction.

His studies suggest that consistent patterns of disregard for a partner’s time can lead to resentment and feelings of being undervalued.

The OP clarified that his girlfriend is not on the autism spectrum, and she doesn't have ADHD or time blindness.

The Redditor says his girlfriend snoozes her alarm at least three times before getting up in the morning.

Moreover, attachment theory highlights how early relational experiences shape expectations in adult relationships. Research shows that individuals who experienced unreliable caregiving may struggle with trust and accountability in adult partnerships.

This can manifest as frustration when one partner consistently fails to meet expectations, leading to heightened emotional conflict.

When she eventually gets up, she takes a long shower and then takes forever to choose what she's going to wear.

Of course, she's usually running late for work at that point, so she ends up speeding to get there on time.

Strategies for Improving Relationship Dynamics

To address these dynamics, open communication is essential. Research indicates that discussing feelings of frustration can enhance understanding and lead to collaborative problem-solving.

Using 'I' statements can help express feelings without assigning blame, fostering a more constructive dialogue.

She's racked up quite a few speeding tickets, and the OP has tried his best to help her get up earlier.

But nothing seems to work, and it just takes her even longer to get ready.

Additionally, setting shared goals and expectations can promote accountability in relationships. Research by Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman emphasizes that couples who establish clear agreements about behaviors and responsibilities tend to experience greater satisfaction and reduced conflict.

Creating mutual understanding around each partner's needs and limitations can strengthen emotional bonds and trust.

Recently, the OP's girlfriend was running even later than usual for work.

The ticket resulted in her having to hand in her license for six months.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should have just taken the blame to help his girlfriend out, or did he do the right thing by refusing?

As always, we would love to hear your opinions on this topic. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

She told the OP that he would have to "cop this one" so she could keep her license.

After arguing about it for a few days, the OP's girlfriend eventually conceded.

But the OP refused and told her she would have to use public transport.

The OP stood his ground and said she would have to find another way.

She called him an a**hole and has been giving the OP the silent treatment.

Now the OP is wondering if he is the a**hole here.

Here's how people reacted.

Reddit/tallestgoat

"Why is he with her?"

Reddit/Hello-there-7567

"She clearly doesn't care about anyone but herself."

Reddit/plastic_venus

"Do yourself a favor and dump her."

Reddit/janlep

She's not capable of being someone's partner.

Reddit/SpookyReadingGirl

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the complexity of accountability in relationships. It’s common for individuals to feel frustrated when their partner consistently disregards expectations, leading to emotional strain.

Encouraging open discussions about responsibilities can foster understanding and accountability, strengthening the relationship.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the dynamics of accountability in relationships can lead to healthier interactions. Research shows that fostering open communication and establishing shared expectations can enhance relationship satisfaction.

Ultimately, addressing frustrations directly and collaboratively can promote deeper emotional connections.