When Small Purchases Cause Big Arguments: Reddit Weighs In On A Lighter Dispute

A Redditor recently took to the internet to ask whether he was in the wrong after a small purchase sparked a surprisingly big disagreement. What started as a harmless pack of lighters quickly turned into a debate about boundaries, respect, and money.

According to the OP, he had bought a pack of lighters for his own use, thinking nothing of it at the time. While spending time with his girlfriend, she quietly took a couple without asking, later explaining that she liked the colors.

Days later, the situation escalated when she casually mentioned that she had given one of those lighters to a stranger. The girlfriend reportedly told the OP that it was “hers” and that she could do whatever she wanted with it, adding that he “didn’t have any use for it anyway.”

The OP admits this rubbed him the wrong way, not because of the object itself, but because he was never asked in the first place. In his view, being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean shared ownership, especially when no permission was given.

He explained that the lighters were not purchased to be handed out to strangers and that, if she truly had no use for them, she could have simply returned them. The Redditor emphasized that even small amounts of money matter to him, and waste is still waste regardless of the price tag.

His girlfriend dismissed his frustration, telling him it was “only a lighter” and accusing him of overreacting. That response, however, only made him feel more irritated and unheard.

Now, the OP is questioning whether he crossed a line by calling her actions disrespectful. He turned to Reddit to ask if he was the problem, or if his feelings about consent and spending were actually justified.

"The girlfriend reportedly told the OP that it was “hers” and that she could do whatever she wanted with it."

AI-generated image

Here's the original post by Reddit user 'James_Tigs'.

AITA for feeling disrespect over a lighter? A few days ago I bought a pack of lighters, one day when I was with my girlfriend she takes a couple without my knowledge, later telling me she took them cause she likes the colors.A few days later she tells me she gave that lighter to a stranger cause "it was hers, and she can do what she wants with it" and "I don't have any use for it". I get annoyed cause the thing is, she never asked if she could have them , and I never gave her them, but since she's my girlfriend automatically that's what makes it okay.AITA for telling her that's disrespectful cause I didn't buy those lighters for them to be given away to strangers ,and if she had no use for them why couldn't she give them back to me, she says it's only a lighter and I'm overreacted but I don't like wasting money, and they weren't "hers" to give away in the first place in my opinion, just because it's not a lot of money doesn't mean it's not wasted money.Am i the asshole for getting irritated at her insensitivity to basically flushing a few dollars down the toilet?

Here's how the Reddit community reacted.

Goddess_of_Bees

"It doesn't sound like it is about money."

FacetiousTomato

"Her entitlement is showing."

Viva_Veracity1906

NTA.

dacamposol

"This is a hint of things to come."

minionofthenight

Same here!

AltruisticSalamander

"I would be upset that she took them without asking."

actualchristmastree

"It’s the principal and the respect of your property."

Due-Koala125

"Think about it."

pchandler45

"She's not entitled to what you buy just because you're dating."

rexrighteous

"She obviously sees them as a frivolous purchase."

FigTechnical8043

"Who TF does that?"

Background-Pizza-448

"See how she likes it."

Deleted user

"This is an entitled attitude."

HappySummerBreeze

At the end of the day, it’s a reminder that even the smallest things can spark bigger conversations about respect, boundaries, and communication in a relationship. Whether it’s a lighter, a favorite mug, or something else entirely, Redditors seem to agree: asking first goes a long way.