Non-Binary Person Wants To Know If They'll Be AH For Ditching Mom's Church Ceremony Because They Were Being Homophobic

Not everyone will be accepting of another person's new identity. Even when they do accept you, it still might not change their homophobic beliefs.

Homophobic beliefs can be said to have their roots in the fear that the status quo regarding sexual and gender identity will be challenged. This can upend many people's worldviews, but to many, homophobia appears as an action that is extremely fearful.

The word "phobia" in the name suggests that fear of difference can lead to hate. In our world today, there are many homophobic individuals and organizations who don't see people's coming out as a valid point of view.

The ideas of homophobia and racism are comparable. Maintaining any prejudice puts you further away from an egalitarian worldview and firmly on the wrong side of history.

Religiously, many churches are against gay people, even if they do not openly express it, and we see this in today's story. The OP is a 23-year-old gay and non-binary person with a mother who is quite religious.

She attends this "cool and welcoming" newer church, and she recently completed a course at her church. She has "graduated," making her a healing helper, and there was going to be a ceremony to celebrate.

She invited the OP to attend, only for them to be informed that they were about to read a Bible verse or two about being gay being a sin. Find out what happens next as you read the full story below.

The headline

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OP's mom goes to this "cool and welcoming" newer church that sings most of their prayers

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Understanding Betrayal in Family Relationships

Dr. Lisa Munoz, a clinical psychologist from Stanford University, explains that feelings of betrayal can deeply impact one’s sense of self and security.

Her research suggests that betrayal often triggers a profound emotional response, leading individuals to reevaluate their relationships and trust levels.

This can cause significant distress, especially when it involves close family members.

"You should be able to come back in like 5-10 minutes for the rest"

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And the comments roll in...

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Research in social psychology indicates that betrayal can lead to feelings of anger, sadness, and even guilt, complicating the emotional landscape.

Studies show that individuals often struggle with the duality of wanting to maintain relationships while grappling with feelings of hurt.

This internal conflict can lead to withdrawal or aggression, depending on personal coping styles.

OP's mom acted selfish

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Don't set foot anywhere that can harm you

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The OP left this somewhere in the comments

My mom is one of those people who doesn’t just go to one service a week but ALL of the services. She had already listened to this service earlier that morning. I came to the service later in the morning. She was only getting recognized at the later service.It is hard to hear, but I think deep down I knew I couldn’t fully rely on my mom. I know she means well in her heart, but actions are speaking louder right now. As an older non-binary person… does it honestly get better? This is a huge loss to my heart, but can they change? Or do I just move on??

From a mom of a gay son

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OP's mom is not an ally

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The Role of Identity in Conflict Resolution

In family conflicts, identity plays a crucial role in shaping responses to betrayal.

As noted by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, "Our relationships often reflect our identities, making it difficult to separate personal feelings from relational dynamics." This complexity can complicate reactions to conflict, as individuals may feel their very selves are at stake.

Recognizing this connection can help individuals navigate their feelings more effectively.

OP's mom is an AH

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Dropping the bomb

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Practical strategies for addressing these conflicts include practicing self-reflection and seeking external support.

Research indicates that engaging in therapy or support groups can provide valuable perspectives and coping mechanisms for managing feelings of betrayal.

Encouraging open dialogue about feelings can also pave the way for healing and reconciliation.

Casting the gay demons out

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The OP left this update in the comments

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Being a parent entails facing the stones that others toss at your kid, not by putting them in the direct line of fire and shouting "Duck." The OP was advised to take a step back and educate themselves on what it does and does not mean to be an ally.

Then, the OP can talk to their mom about her homophobic views. Drop your thoughts about this story in the comments section below and share as well.

Psychological Analysis

This scenario highlights the complex emotions surrounding betrayal in family relationships. It's crucial to recognize that feelings of anger and hurt are valid responses, and addressing them constructively can lead to healing.

Promoting open conversations about betrayal can help foster understanding and ultimately strengthen family ties.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, the impact of betrayal on family dynamics can be profound, but understanding the emotional undercurrents can facilitate healing.

As Dr. Judith Herman notes, creating a space for dialogue and validation is essential in overcoming relational wounds.

By addressing feelings directly and compassionately, families can rebuild trust and strengthen their bonds.