Homophobic Family Kicks Out Their Minor Gay Son Out Of Fear That He Will Influence His Younger Siblings, Tries To Reconnect Two Decades Later To Save Face
They never apologized for what they did and told him to "let go of the past to move forward in a positive way."
OP’s family didn’t just disagree with him, they treated his sexuality like a contagion. At 15, he got kicked out for being gay, with the kind of logic that sounds cold even when you’re hearing it in real time.
Fast-forward about two decades, and the same people want back in, like time is a reset button. OP’s sister even circles back to the old “blood runs in your veins” line, while OP is stuck remembering the boundary they drew around him and how little his mom ever felt like “his” mom, more like a stranger who happened to share the same house.
And when OP finally tells his sister to stop calling him family, it turns a long-delayed reunion into a fresh fight.
OP told his sister to stop referring to him as family
u/Right_Jack77They were strangers to each other
u/Right_Jack77OP recalled the time that his sister and brother drew a line about his role in the family
u/Right_Jack77
The rejection faced by individuals from their families, particularly over their sexual orientation, can leave lasting psychological scars.
The rejection faced by individuals from their families can deeply scar their sense of self and identity, as seen in the story of a young man who was cast out by his family at just 15 years old for being gay. The emotional turmoil resulting from such abandonment can lead to lasting feelings of shame and unworthiness, shaping how one views themselves long into adulthood.
In the case of the 35-year-old protagonist, the scars of being ostracized by his homophobic family are evident in his reluctance to reconnect, despite their attempts to re-enter his life two decades later. This illustrates a key point: acceptance and validation from family are not just beneficial, they are essential for healthy identity formation. The protagonist's decision to keep his family at a distance reflects a conscious choice to prioritize his well-being over the superficial desire for familial connection, highlighting the complexities of healing in the wake of such pain.
OP doesn't even have a good relationship with his mom, whom he considers no more than a stranger.
u/Right_Jack77
His sister reminded him of whose blood runs in his veins. OP said his husband's blood may not be in his veins, but something else does. Was what OP said too harsh?
u/Right_Jack77
It may not be the real saying, but it certainly applies to OP's situation
SunlitFable
That 15-year-old getting cast out for being gay is the reason OP is still standing far away from “family” at 35.
Understanding these dynamics is crucial for fostering healthier family relationships and preventing long-term psychological harm.
When individuals are rejected for their identity, it can lead to internalized stigma and emotional distress.
Understanding these dynamics is essential for fostering resilience and self-acceptance.
That was the perfect way to end the conversation
[deleted]
OP's sister was probably too young to have influenced their parents' choices when they kicked OP out.
Blacknikeshorts
However, she didn't have to join in the bashing once she grew up.
HeatherReadsReddit
When OP’s sister brings up whose blood runs in his veins, it’s not nostalgia, it’s the same old pressure dressed up as affection.
Reconnecting After Rejection: Steps for Healing
When family members seek to reconnect after a long history of rejection, it requires sensitivity and understanding.
It echoes the vow renewal blowup, where OP was excluded from their sister’s wedding.
Coping with Familial Rejection
To cope with familial rejection, individuals can benefit from seeking support groups and communities that affirm their identity.
Family means nothing if you don't act like it
AdillaBean
They didn't talk for 20 years, and demanding this much from someone they abandoned after just reconnecting with him is over the line.
wheres_peeves
Just get over it, OP! It's all in the past! /s
[deleted]
OP shoots back with the “my husband’s blood” comment, and suddenly the conversation is no longer about reconnecting, it’s about who gets to define him.
Moreover, engaging in conversations about identity and experiences can foster empathy.
By prioritizing empathy and open dialogue, families can work towards rebuilding relationships that may have been damaged by rejection.
Building a supportive network of friends and chosen family can provide essential validation and understanding.
Connecting with others who share similar experiences can foster a sense of belonging.
You can't really forgive people who aren't at all sorry for what they did to you.
Right_Jack77
What did OP's sister do to him that was so bad to warrant OP's icy attitude towards her, asked one Redditor?
RatherNerdy
His sister replaced OP's dad as the primary critic in OP's life, which hurt their relationship further.
Right_Jack77
Learning to forgive can be a long process, but it is often essential for moving forward in a healthier direction.
Ultimately, recognizing the impact of familial rejection on identity is crucial for healing and self-acceptance.
Therapeutic support can guide individuals through their journey toward self-love and acceptance.
Developing resilience is key to overcoming the emotional scars of rejection.
OP has the final say on who his real family is. Unless his biological family proves that they will support him, they are no better than strangers who feel entitled to his time.
PARA9535307
OP posted an update a few weeks later.
u/Right_Jack77
His mom and sister tried their best to get OP to attend Thanksgiving. Apparently, they promised other relatives that he would show up because everything is dandy now.
u/Right_Jack77
OP had enough of their manipulation and permanently cut them out of his life.
u/Right_Jack77
He and his husband had a great Thanksgiving by themselves with a lot of things to be grateful for!
u/Right_Jack77
By the time OP tells his sister to stop calling him family, the reunion attempt has officially turned into a boundary being enforced.
I am furious on OP's behalf. His biological family only wanted to reconnect with him because they wanted to save face in front of their other relatives.
They were more concerned about playing the perfect family than truly starting fresh with OP. Well, they can let go of the past now and move forward in a positive way without OP's help.
The impact of familial rejection is profound, shaping an individual's identity and emotional health in ways that can last a lifetime. In the case of the young man who was expelled from his home at 15 for being gay, this experience did not just end with his departure; it left scars that influenced his journey toward self-acceptance.
As he stands firm at 35, resisting the attempts of his family to re-enter his life, we see a testament to the importance of personal boundaries in the healing process.
This story underscores that healing cannot occur in the same environment that fostered the wounds, highlighting the necessity for individuals to prioritize their emotional well-being over familial pressures.
The story of the OP illustrates the profound and enduring impact of family rejection, particularly for LGBTQ+ youth. At just 15, he faced a devastating betrayal when his family expelled him from their home due to his sexual orientation, an experience that undoubtedly shaped his psychological landscape over the years. Now, at 35, the OP's reluctance to fully embrace his family's attempts to reconnect speaks volumes about the long-lasting scars such rejection can leave.
This narrative serves as a poignant reminder of the critical need for acceptance and understanding within families. The OP's hesitance to forgive and forget underscores the importance of creating a supportive environment that fosters emotional well-being. Without open communication and genuine empathy, the path to healing can be obstructed, making it difficult for families to rebuild the trust that was so carelessly broken two decades ago.
The family dinner did not end with forgiveness, it ended with OP drawing a line he never should’ve had to draw.
Want more family fallout? Read whether OP should postpone the reunion amid explosive tensions.
