Husband And His Mom Leave No Food For Exhausted Wife Who Was Late Because She Was Breastfeeding Her 5-Week-Old Baby

Some postpartum fights start with sleep deprivation, and this one started with dinner. A woman who was five weeks after giving birth was already juggling breastfeeding, baby care, and a houseguest she never really asked for, her mother-in-law.

Her husband kept telling her to be grateful for the help, but the help did not include much actual help. Then one night, she was late to dinner because she was feeding her newborn, and the kitchen surprise was that no one had saved her a plate.

What followed was a messy family blowup, a few cruel messages, and a decision that pushed the whole situation over the edge. Read on.

Apparently, being late for dinner because you were breastfeeding your son meant you weren't hungry

u/Got50977

OP snapped and yelled that it was obvious that she was hungry since she was breastfeeding a growing baby

u/Got50977

MIL just shrugged her shoulders and said that it's not her fault OP didn't bother showing up for dinner

u/Got50977

New mothers can run on fumes, and this household was already tense before dinner even started.

OP's husband sided with his mom instead of defending OP. They argued more, but OP got tired of it and called her brother to pick her up and take her to their mom's place.

u/Got50977

OP's brother bought her food on the way over, and OP devoured all of it while her husband kept calling her. He demanded OP return and to stop punishing him over food.

u/Got50977

OP doesn't know how long she will stay at her mom's place but insists that her husband can visit them anytime he wants. However, he refuses to go because he hates OP's mom.

u/Got50977

That is where the argument stopped being about dinner and started being about respect.

OP caved and sent her husband photos of their baby sleeping, but he turned that against her. He also called OP a b*tch, which really shocked her.

u/Got50977

He retaliated by sending a photo of him and his mom cooking dinner, then telling OP that they are excluding her for real this time.

u/Got50977

He messaged OP again, telling her that he will only visit her and their son if OP's mom is not in the house because he apparently hates her that much. OP said that's not something she can ask her mom to do. It looks like OP, her mom, and the new baby will be roommates for a while.

u/Got50977

Things got even uglier once the messages started flying.

Studies indicate that women who feel supported by their partners are more likely to report higher levels of satisfaction in their parenting roles.

Encouraging open dialogues about needs and expectations can foster a nurturing environment, enabling both partners to thrive in their new parenting roles.

It's no wonder that OP ate like a bear when her brother bought her some food

yeznag

It's not really about the food, is it? It's the fact that they deliberately ignored OP's needs.

Got50977

This should have been the case, but OP's husband and MIL are in a league of their own.

yeznag

By then, OP was dealing with more than just a missed meal.

It also echoes the AITA post where the OP declined her in-laws’ extended visit, citing their hectic family schedule and juggling work and kids.

The only person she's doting on is her grown son.

GrowCrows

OP's MIL is more of an obstacle and an unwanted guest than she is a support.

Timely_Cake_8304

OP can't even voice her own opinions without her husband biting her head off.

k1k11983

The whole thing had turned into a power struggle.

Engaging in weekly check-ins to discuss feelings, needs, and challenges can enhance mutual understanding and support.

Additionally, seeking external support, such as family help or professional counseling, can provide much-needed relief during this transitional period.

Sadly, this is true:

CatlinM

Neither of them are actually helping OP take care of the baby, and she's left to do all of the childcare while they make her feel like she owes them gratitude.

mdthomas

A Redditor advised OP to ignore her MIL and deal with her husband, who is the root of her problem.

CakeEatingRabbit

OP said there was no need to meet up at a random café when he can go to her mom's house anytime he wants to discuss things, but he refuses because of an arbitrary dislike for her mom.

Got50977

He doesn't like her mom because she sides with her when MIL and OP's husband team up against her. What a catch this guy is.

Got50977, Suitable-Cod-1381

There seems to be no resolution to be had after those petty retaliations he did.

Suitable-Cod-1381

The numbers don't lie.

Got50977, Suitable-Cod-1381

Neither of the three choices are acceptable anyway, but it's better to know how much of an a**hole they were.

Ranos131

OP believes her MIL didn't cook enough for three people, and OP was too tired to cook her own food from scratch, which is understandable.

Got50977

What was their reasoning for not leaving food for OP anyway? What were they trying to prove?

SisterYahtzee

MIL is not leaving because she likes being praised for being a grandmother.

Got50977

That's the most hurtful part. They know how hungry and tired OP will be, but they didn't care to consider her needs and, by extension, her baby's.

Denverdogmama, Bruiscear

It doesn't sound like OP is living in a very healthy household if she can't even ask questions.

moonmama95

OP needs to keep any and all evidence of communication she has with her husband in case they separate.

QueenMissLaura

The evidence she collects will help protect both her and her baby.

QueenMissLaura

OP can't even fully trust her own judgment since they have convinced her so successfully that they can do nothing wrong.

questionablemay

It's sad that OP even had to ask if she was wrong to be mad after what they did to her. She just gave birth, she is taking care of her newborn 24/7, she is breastfeeding, her MIL decided she can intrude in their home, and they can't even bother to leave her food.

Anyone in that situation would snap. OP and her baby are better off if they stay indefinitely at her mother's house, where they will want for nothing.

The article highlights a stark reality many new mothers face: the critical need for support during the exhausting early days of parenting. The failure of the husband and his mother to provide even basic sustenance to a wife who was delayed from preparing a meal due to breastfeeding underscores a troubling dynamic. It emphasizes how the absence of understanding and cooperation in family roles can create a chasm in family relationships.

In the context of this family, the lack of collaboration not only strains the mother's well-being but also risks the emotional development of the child. The situation reveals how essential it is for partners to work together and support each other, particularly during such a vulnerable time, to foster a nurturing environment for both the new mother and her baby.

Want more in-law fallout? See what happened when the OP asked in-laws to pay for their extended stay.