Wife Caught Between Hosting A 20-Person New Year Gathering To Appease Her In-Laws Or “Selfishly” Choosing Her Peace Of Mind
Hosting once felt generous until it started feeling like a duty.
Some people don’t recognize a favor until it’s their turn to ask for it. In this Reddit post, OP is staring down a New Year gathering that could easily turn her home into a full-on family event site.
OP says she’s already stressed about hosting her husband’s huge family for Chinese New Year, about 20 people total. The complication is her in-laws, the pressure to “make it happen” to keep everyone happy, and the fact that her new home is a magnet for visitors. She’s worried this won’t be a one-time request either.
Then the comments roll in, and the internet basically tells her to protect her peace.
A bit of backstory
Reddit.comOP has a lot of concerns about hosting her husband’s large family for Chinese New Year celebration
Reddit.comOP is also worried that this may not be the last time her husband’s family ask them to host, especially since everyone loves their new home
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OP is contemplating saying no, but is worried about appearing selfish to everyone
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We gathered some interesting comments from the Reddit community
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“I don't think there are any assholes here (except for whomever made the "no toenail clipping" rule necessary).”
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“NTA. It's time for your house to develop some kind of unidentified plumbing problem.”
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This “appease the in-laws or choose peace” bind is similar to the AITA case where someone refused to babysit a friend’s toddler for free.
“If you do it once, you are not obligated to do it again, like take a vacation next year on those dates.”
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“Go out to a restaurant (which would actively cater for these events) and have a post-meal drink at your home.”
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“If you do host come up with a strategy and also just because you host this does not mean you have to host in the future.”
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“If you’re not comfortable with it, maybe tour the house and then have the eating happen outside at a restaurant?”
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“NAH but get her the answer early so someone else can plan it.”
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That’s when OP realizes her husband’s family will probably keep “remembering” their love for the new house every holiday, not just Chinese New Year.
Meanwhile, the thread points out how hosting 20 people turns into nonstop work, not a cute dinner plan.
The most specific suggestion comes from a Redditor who says OP should give everyone a house tour, then send them to a restaurant for the actual meal.
Even the top voted joke about the “no toenail clipping” rule lands, because it screams how chaotic this gathering could get fast.
The Reddit community is fully on OP’s side. The overwhelming majority agree that hosting that many people is a stressful undertaking, and she shouldn’t go ahead if it makes her uncomfortable.
One Redditor in particular advised OP to give everyone a tour of the house, then make reservations at a restaurant where they’ll all have dinner.
Regardless of what OP decides on, we do hope all members of the family can be empathetic enough to fall in line.
What would you have done in her place? Share your thoughts in the comments.
OP can say no without apologizing, because nobody should get a free volunteer shift from her kitchen.
Next, see whether the mom was “wrong” for refusing to babysit her friend’s toddler for free.
