Is it Unreasonable to Be Annoyed by Roommates GF Staying Over 4-5 Nights a Week?

A roommate’s girlfriend showing up basically five nights a week is the kind of “small” house rule problem that quietly turns into a full-on resentment situation. And in this sharehouse, it’s not even happening in some occasional, normal way. It’s constant enough that OP is starting to feel like a guest in his own home.

OP lives with two other mates, and for the last six months, one roommate’s girlfriend has been staying over 4 to 5 nights every week, plus weekends. She mostly hangs out in his room, but she also cooks meals in the house, uses the living room to watch TV, and sometimes shows up even when the roommate isn’t there. To make it messier, she’s not being “mean,” she has anxiety, and OP doesn’t want her to feel unwelcome, but OP also feels like she’s getting the benefits of living out of home without paying bills.

Now OP is stuck between keeping the peace and wondering if he’s being unreasonable for being annoyed.

Original Post

I live in a sharehouse with 2 other mates and over the past 6 months one my roomates GF has been staying over sometimes 4-5 nights every week, and all weekend. She stays in his room alot of the time but she also cooks her meals here, uses the living room to watch TV, she sometimes stays here even when my roommate isn't around and will often just walk in the house without us even knowing.

The thing is it's not like she's directly affecting my way of living in my own house but it kinda pisses me off that we pay bills and utility and she can get all the benefits of living out of home without having to pay. I will note she also has a bit of anxiety so I don't want her to be upset or think she's not welcome but it just bugs me in the back of my mind.

I'm a pretty chill guy but not afraid to bring something up with my housemate which I will do, but yeah wanted to share and get some opinions. Am i the a*****e?

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The same entitlement clash shows up in when OP donated their inheritance to charity and family claimed they were owed it instead.

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The girlfriend’s “just staying over” routine turns into a near-weekly schedule that OP can’t ignore, especially when she’s using the living room and cooking at home.

It gets extra irritating when she walks into the house without anyone knowing, even when OP’s roommate isn’t around.

OP tries to frame it as not about hostility, since he knows she has anxiety, but the unfairness of bills and utilities still sits in the back of his mind.

That’s why OP is preparing to bring it up with the housemate, hoping it lands without turning the whole household into a drama spiral.

We'd love to hear your take on this situation. Share your thoughts below.

OP might not be the villain, but he’s definitely not wrong for feeling like he’s subsidizing someone else’s sleep schedule.

For another inheritance showdown, see whether OP is the jerk for splitting their father’s assets equally with all siblings at once.