Is it Unreasonable to Be Annoyed by Roommates GF Staying Over 4-5 Nights a Week?

AITA for being bothered by my roommate's GF staying over 4-5 nights a week? Opinions on setting boundaries and addressing the situation.

Damjan

Published in Interesting
24 Dec 2025

Is it Unreasonable to Be Annoyed by Roommates GF Staying Over 4-5 Nights a Week?

In the world of shared living spaces, finding harmony among housemates can sometimes feel like walking a tightrope. A recent Reddit thread has sparked an interesting discussion about boundaries and expectations for guests.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

The original poster (OP) shares their frustration about a roommate's girlfriend who has taken up residence - often staying 4-5 nights a week - and even using common areas when her partner isn’t around. While it seems she is not directly infringing upon OP's lifestyle, the feeling of an unofficial fourth roommate looms large.

[ADVERTISEMENT]

The crux of the matter lies in the balance between respecting the emotional needs of the girlfriend, who experiences anxiety, and ensuring that all housemates feel comfortable in their shared home. As OP prepares to address the situation with their roommate, they are seeking insight on whether their feelings are justified or if they are, in fact, the "asshole" in this scenario.

With a variety of perspectives in the comments, the thread opens up a broader conversation about living arrangements, shared responsibilities, and the unwritten rules of communal living. How should housemates handle situations like these?

Should there be limits on guest stays, or should financial contributions be discussed? Join in as we explore the nuances of this shared living dilemma!

Original Post

I live in a sharehouse with 2 other mates and over the past 6 months one my roomates GF has been staying over sometimes 4-5 nights every week, and all weekend. She stays in his room alot of the time but she also cooks her meals here, uses the living room to watch TV, she sometimes stays here even when my roommate isn't around and will often just walk in the house without us even knowing.

The thing is it's not like she's directly affecting my way of living in my own house but it kinda pisses me off that we pay bills and utility and she can get all the benefits of living out of home without having to pay. I will note she also has a bit of anxiety so I don't want her to be upset or think she's not welcome but it just bugs me in the back of my mind.

I'm a pretty chill guy but not afraid to bring something up with my housemate which I will do, but yeah wanted to share and get some opinions. Am i the a*****e?

[ADVERTISEMENT]